Military Science II: Total War
by Imperial Fiction
Summary: 5 years after the end of the war, Jimmy and friends' lives are back to almost-normal, but an old enemy has a scores that he wants to settle and is willing to start World War III to do it. Rated for violence, and mild language. Chapter 6 finally up!
1. You Only Die Twice

**And now, by popular request, the sequel to the original Military Science! Enjoy! Oh, and before I forget to mention, this story begins in the June of 2007. So yeah, it happened in the past. Deal with it. Plus, all political figures, stances, and international debaccles of our world are currently irrelavent in this fic unless I specifically state it and all political references and views made by characters may or may not reflect my own political views. Now, without furhter ado, let's start the show.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Jimmy Neutron. Period. Now, pretend that this little message existed in every chapter after this so I don't have to write it again. **

**Military Science II: Total War**

**Produced by: Imperial Fiction (formerly Naraku's Reincarnation) **

**Chapter 1:**

**You Only Die Twice**

_"I used to be a scientist and in some ways, I still am. But name one scientist, one doctor, one nobel prize winner who has ever fired a gun, saved the universes, or killed someone?" Jimmy Neutron, N-12_

* * *

The soft chirps of crickets outside of the house that she had resided in for the last 5 years kept Cynthia 'Cindy' Aurora Vortex, 17, from getting any sleep. However, even if they weren't there, Cindy wouldn't have been able to sleep anyways. She looked at the ceiling in her room, or rather the room of her boyfriend James 'Jimmy' Isaac Neutron, also 17 but 18 in about a month. Cindy always took a secret comfort in snuggling up in her love's bedsheets whenever he was gone on a 'business' trip.

It may sound odd to some people when they think of Jimmy, a boy genius that was nearly 18, being ona business trip. In reality, 'business trip' was easier to imagine as opposed to assassination as Jimmy was doing now. You see, Jimmy was an Enforcer, a personally employed soldier of God Almighty and he has been for the last 5 years ever since the war that changed everything that they had known as normal.

The Human-Yolkian War, as it had been called around Retroville, hadn't claimed as many lives of people in their universe of N-12 as it had from their ally universe W-12, but the effects as far as Cindy was concerned were still as devastating. She had lost her mother to the war, who, along with the rest of the adults in Retroville, TX, had been taken as prisoners and hostages by a revised League of Villains, the leaders of which were dead, for the most part anyways. The body of Eustace Strych III had never been located, but it had been assumed that he has died by now, either by asphyxiation, dehydration, starvation, or immolation within the atmosphere of some random star.

Cindy turned to look around Jimmy's room, since renovated as he grew out of his boyhood days. During his midlife crisis, Jimmy's father, Hugh Neutron, had knocked down the wall seperating his son's room and the guest room where Cindy was allowed to stay, thus creating a type of second master room using the two. His wife was, of course, enraged, but the damage was done and she gave Cindy a deviously approving glance that still gave Cindy shivers to this day.

Jimmy's room was thus larger than it had been when they were younger. His single bed had been turned into a queen-sized bed, Cindy's own bed adjacent to it with a nightstand inbetween them like the configuration of beds in a hotel might be. Goddard, who had since aged and was approaching its decommisioning stage in life, sadly enough, slept in a corner of the room nearby where Jimmy's office and computer desk was.

She glanced at the clock at the nightstand which read 9:52. School had been out for a good few weeks and she had graduated as the salutatorian of her graduating high school class at Retroville High School with Jimmy, of course, being the valedictorian. However, due to his work and because of his already superhuman genius, Jimmy had also graduated as a valedictorian from Yale University using their online program.

She glanced at his two diplomas which he had framed and displayed proudly over his computer desk. There in a case also hung several of his Enforcer operationaland campaign ribbons along with various medals. There were two Medals of Honor, aDistinguished Service Cross, anda few Purple Hearts. However, displayed above them all was the Nobel Prize for Science which he had received earlier this yearfor his invention of the hybrid hovercar, the first in its kind. Currently, several Japanese and German automobile manufacturers were trying to outbid the other for the right to develop Jimmy's creation which could change the world indefinitely. No offer had ever lasted for more than a few seconds before being topped by another offer. As of that afternoon, the highest bid was from Nissan for 950.4 million dollars.

Unable to sleep, she finally gave up on trying and sat up in the bed and turned on the TV. Seeing as it was late night and didn't really feel like watching the usual late night sex, violence, and drug-related programming that came on at that time of the day, she turned to CNN.

Ralph Turner, the current CNN corresponder after the last one died after a long fight with pancreatic cancer, was reporting on the ever-popular War in Iraq, started by the also ever-popular President Haywood, the Arkansas congressman some still believe to have rigged the entire election.

"-as Iraqi Prime Minister al-Zalid-Ahmed-Admedinehjad prepares to greet the Iranian Prime Minister Mahmoud Hisham as the Middle East Peace Talks continue." He then motioned for the screen behind him to change, this one showing a Chinese Communist flag flying behind the Olympics Logo.

"Great, more about the Beijing Olympics," Cindy muttered as she continued to watch. She failed to hear the sound of a car door slamming outside.

"As the Beijing 2008 Summer Olympics draw closer, just a year away, domestic and international concern for the alledged Chinese nuclear weapons program continues to strengthen as China refuses to admit yet another UN Weapons Inspector, this time saying that the region he was asking to inspect has had a recent outbreak of the Avian Flu and has been recently quarantined. This has in turn sparked countless more feelings of concern for the Olympics Committee's choice on having China as the host country, now partly for the pollution and disease commonly found in Chinese urban areas while the rest is due to the alledged nuclear weapons program."

"Nukes?" Cindy muttered as the image on screen changed to show a montage of pictures of missiles, tanks, soldiers, and Chinese political figures. "That can't be good..." Then, she finally heard the sounds of boots coming up the stairs. She turned off the TV and quickly ran towards the window. Verifying the car, she then hid beside the doorway.

A couple of minutes passed before the door opened. She then wheeled around and tackled the person that had opened the door to the ground, lips pressed firmly onto his. She pulled away to look at Jimmy's crystal blue eyes. He chuckled, her heart soaring as she heard his deep, mature voice once again. "Why don't you greet me like that when I come home every day?"

She rolled her eyes as she aligned her body with his, lying on top of him, feeling the toned muscled chest and abdomen that his dress shirt and sportscoat hid from her and that she secretly longed to see up close. "Because you don't save the universes from destruction everyday. How'd the hit go?"

He grunted as he picked her up bridal style and carried her to their bed. Adopting a fake Italian accent, he said in a slow drawl stereotypical of Mafioso, "Eh, the guy was asking for it. Nukes, drug peddling for said nukes, slavery, and a decent science program. Wanted to blow up the Earth, can you believe that? And then he wanted to rule the universe from his orbital platform. What a shmuck. Anyways, God wanted me to teach the little prick a lesson so I got in there, grabbed him by the collar and blew his fucking brains out all over hisnice ivy league suitand bada-bing, bada-boom, I just scored 100 big ones."

She rolled her eyes as she slapped him playfully. "You know I hate it when you swear. It doesn't fit you. It makes you look so... bad!"

He chuckled again and she felt the powerful vibrations of his chest as she pressed herself tightly against him. "But you love me when I'm bad."

She smiled as he put her on the bed and turned around to slip off his sportscoat and hang it in the closet. "Yeah, but I love you when you behave, too." He then slipped out the M9 Enforcer service pistol from his shoulder holster, which he also hung in the closet, took out the ammunitition magazine, unloaded the round in the barrel, put the loose bullet back into the magazine, and put all the pieces onto the nightstand.

He simply grunted as he slipped off his dress shirt and threw it into the laundry hamper along with the undershirt below it, leaving Cindy to gaze at his finely toned, lean, muscled back before turning around to show the same finely toned, lean, muscled torso and abs. "I'm gonna go shower when you finish deciding whether or not to mount me right now."

She blushed and threw a pillow at him. "You need to stop spending so much time with Sheen! He's warping your mind."

He grinned as he sat next to her on the bed and kissed her chastely on the lips. "Fine, have it your way."He got up and unbuckled his belt slowly. "My parents leave us a message while I was gone?" His parents had left to visit his mom's stepsister who had come down with HIV in Canada the day before which was precisely the time when Jimmy had to leave to the other universe to take care of his Enforcer work, which he started to see less of after their graduation. Cindy, on the other hand, hadn't even seen a single assignment since the end of the war.

Cindy nodded. "They said they'd be back from Canada in a week and that they missed us and were sorry we couldn't go."

"You could've gone without me," he said as he threw his slacks in the laundry hamper, grabbed a fresh sleeveless T-shirt from his drawer and walked over to the bathroom that was attached to their room. "I would've just asked EIS to beam me into Vancouver." EIS stood for the Enforcer Insertion Sytem that Enforcer rapid assault agents used to successfully infiltrate and exfiltrate an operational zone. It was also what the lazier Enforcers used to get back home as opposed to walking or driving.

"One," Cindy said as her eyes followed him as he walked across the room, "they're in Ontario. Two, I couldn't stand being far away from you."

"But I wasn't even here for the last two days," he replied as he entered the bathroom and began to brush his teeth.

Cindy smiled as she got out of the bed, her spaghetti-strap tanktop and boxer shorts the only thing that she wore that particular summer night, and went over to the bathroom to hug Jimmy from behind as he brushed his teeth. "But I still feel you around here. It's easier for me to be in here than anywhere else because it's like part of you stays here to look after me."

He smiled before spitting out a gab of foamy toothpaste and rinsed his mouth clean. He then pulled Cindy into another kiss. "You've been reading too many romance novels."

She ignored his comment and licked her lips as they pulled away. "Mmm, minty," she murmured as emerald met cerulean. They stood there for a little while before her nose detected the smell of dried blood, gunpowder, and fire. "Ugh, Enforcer work. Get into the shower, Big Brain, you need it."

Jimmy smiled in reminiscent glee of his old nickname from their childhood which Cindy had since turned into a personal pet name for him. "Get to bed Vortex, I'll be back in there in 5."

"Better make it 10," Cindy called back as she left the bathroom and went to the bed that they usually shared even though Cindy had a bed of her own.

Indeed it was 10 minutes before Jimmy finally exited the shower, his short-cut, brown hair a slightly soggy mess on top of his head and the parts of his body that his undershirt and boxers didn't hide were still slightly wet. "Wait long?" He couldn't help but feel like an egotistical jackass as he watched her oggle his body for its every curve. Ever since he had begun his work as an Enforcer, he had been forced to increase his physique a bit to keep up with the other Enforcers and to do his job right to so the universes could stay safe. As a result, he had the delight of watching his girlfriend eyeball him with lust and love as he purposely waltzed towards her with movie slowness. "Cindy?"

Cindy shook her head slightly to free her mind of the more perverse thoughts. "Huh?"

"I said, did you wait long?" Jimmy repeated as he climbed into bed and brought her close to him in a loving embrace.

Cindy sighed as she rested her head against his chest like she had done so many times before. "It was worth the wait," she muttered. "I love you." Finally, she had fallen asleep. Jimmy joined her a few minutes after.

Outside of the window, neither of them had noticed the presence of a figure cloaked in shadow. The figure was perched on a tree branch with a katana strapped to its back and the robes of a Japanese ninja adorning it. The ninja scanned the area to make sure that the coast was clear before it dropped down from its perch. It went over to Jimmy's hovercar and planted a small device under the front seat. Then, it disappeared into the night, awaiting a chance to report to its master.

* * *

"-has finally admited a UN Weapons Inspector into the country, US Ambassador to China Robert Hong said to CNN earlier this morning," Ralph Turner said. Jimmy watched the developing news story with a morbid fascination as he had been doingfor the pasttwo days since his return from P-93. The universe was a mostly modern one compared to a few others he had been to, but the objective was the same: arrive, shoot something, leave.

Ever since his first kill back in the Human-Yolkian War, he had never felt a single bit of remorse in the kills afterwards. As his mentor, a Chinese politician from W-12, had once said, "These are bad people. That's all you have to know. They wanna blow up the Earth and you wanna blow off their heads, so when it comes down to the last shootout, you gotta remember tokill them before theykill you."

Jimmy reclined in the family couch with his M9 pistol in front of him, disassembled partially. He slapped the ammo magazine into the receptor and pulled back on the slide to cock it and load a bullet in the barrel. "Will you not do that in the living room? It's kinda... contradicting." He looked over to the kitchen where Cindy was working on a laptop. Like Jimmy, she had also taken up taking online college classes. She, however, was taking them from the University of Texas Medical Center to get a degree in internal medicine.

He rolled his eyes and put the gun on the coffee table. "I got a text from Central. Things are heating up in the Council and I might be sent in again while the babies are arguing." He was referring to, of course, the Enforcer High Council ofwhich the heads of all known Enforcer leaders made up. They were the Enforcer equivalent of the US Senate and argued twice as much as its counterpart.

"Oh, what are they arguing about now?" Cindy asked as she looked up from her work.

Jimmy shrugged. "Eh, T-19 is requesting some help in their civil war. They're getting their butts handed to them, but since it isn't a Earth-destroying war, no nukes or WMDs, some of the Council doesn't want to approve help. Can you believe that?'

She sighed. "I can't understand why warriors of God would let universal rivalries keep them from helping people."

He nodded. "It's ridiculous." He turned his attention back to the TV.

"-Premeir Yi Gaojian has expressed his concerns that the United States wants to start a war with the People's Republic of China. In a press release yesterday, Premeir Yi is quoted as saying, 'We do not wish to fight a war with our greatest trade partner and ally, but we cannot be held accountable for defending ourselves should the need arise.' President Haywood is scheduled to deliver a rebuttal this afternoon."

Jimmy checked his watch. "Looks like we might miss it." He turned off the TV and picked up the keys to his newest model of hovercar, modeled after a Mercedes-Benz. "Come on, we're gonna belate to church." Ever since the end of the war, Jimmy had become an increasingly religious person, half because now he knew the truth of the universe and half because he felt guilty for having to kill all those people that he had to kill. He had become a born-again Christian, though not exactly a devout and strict one, and attended the Catholic church in downtown Retroville, St. Abraham's Cathedral. Despite his renewed faith, he insisted on carrying a gun with him everywhere nowadays, in case Enforcer business demanded he leave immediately. He slipped his M9 into his shoulder holster and slipped a sportscoat over it to conceal it.

Cindy saved her work and shut down the laptop. "Alright, I wanted to go talk to Libby anyways. I haven't seen her in days."

As they walked out of the house and stood in front of the garage, Jimmy replied, "I thought you would've had time to talk to her while I was away?"

She shook her head as Jimmy went to his convertible-hovercar in the drive way and hopped in. "Too much school work. Professor Lowenstein wants us to write an essay concerning the use of radiation therapy on cancers and the pros and cons of it. As if the answer wasn't already obvious." She then snapped her fingers. "Ah, I forgot my purse."

Jimmy rolled his eyes as he started the engine. Then, his mind froze. Something didn't feel right. In his long service to God and all subordinate gods under him, he had begun to develop a sixth sense for danger and ambushes which he trusted with his life, the end result usually saving him from getting killed. Now, he felt that same sense of dread again.

Without even thinking, he set the hovercar on cruise control and set it to ascend before bailing out of the car. When he hit the ground, he covered himself for an explosion and the debris that would follow. Seconds passed and he thought he was being paranoid. He was about to stand up when a terrible explosion ripped through the peaceful ambience of his suburban neighborhood. He felt the sting of hot metal pepper him as parts of his hovercar rained down on him.

Cindy ran outside, her .38special revolver held at the ready. She looked around and saw no immediate threat before noticing Jimmy on the ground. She ran over to him while he began to get up. "Jimmy!"

Jimmy groaned as he jumped to his feet and unholstered his M9, scanning the area with it. "Did you see anything?"

"No," Cindy reported as she watched a large chunk of flaming metal crash into the street. "We need to talk to Sheen and Libby."

He nodded. "Go get them and have them come over to our house. I'll schedule a meeting with the Council. I think the Enforcers have been discovered. If those idiots are smart, they'll send a clean-up crew to look into this." And they parted, Cindy to Libby's house and Jimmy to his backyard and into his old lab and clubhouse, since turned into his Enforcer office.

Meanwhile, the same figure in black from last night lay hidden in the shadows of an oak tree, observing the scene. It swore sharply in Japanese before disappearing. Its master would not be pleased.

* * *

A young man, just barely a few months over 18, sat in fine European robes within the confines of a Oriental estate in the Shangri-La Valley in the southeast of China. A servant girl bowed to him before pouring him his night tea. He was waiting for a status report from his 'business' assosciate's field agent who was operating in America, where it would be roughly 11 AM.

The young man nodded his thanks to the servant girl and dismissed her with a weak wave of the hand. Despite his age, he himself felt very old. For the last 5 years, a little over that in fact, he had been confined to a wheel chair due to a spinal injury he had received due to a bullet wound he had received in his youth. He was now paralyzed from the waist down and suffered immense fits of pain that appeared at random intervals.

His pale skin was a rich contrast to his cunning blue eyes. His brown hair was cleanly combed back and his buck teeth was not as bucked as it was in his youth. A Smith and Wesson .44 revolver sat in his lap. He pressed forward on the control stick on his wheel chair arm that allowed it to move and traversed through his Chinese business assosciate's estate.

After several minutes of moving through the estate, he came across an elevator. He got on it and reached out to touch the button for the basement. Though the above ground portion of the estate looked like a finely preserved ancient Chinese mansion, the underground part of the estate was much more modern. And more sinister.

He got off of the elevator after it stopped. The sounds of shurikens piercing their their targets as well as the sounds of bullets doing the same were a beautiful symphony to his ears. Or rather, ear. Like his spinal injury, he had also received severe damage to one of his ears when he was younger ataround theexact same time as his spinal injury, the two deformities occuring roughly 30 minutes apart of each other.

As he wheeled past the firing range booths, men in black garbs stopped and bowed before returning to their training. He finally arrived at his own booth, privately set aside for him. With a renewed strengh, he aimed the .44 down the range at the specially crafted target. He pulled the trigger once, then twice, then three more times until the .44's bullets had all been used. He pressed a nearby button to call the target back.

Though the five .44 caliber bullet holes had done immense damage to the head, which was where he was aiming, the identity of the figure embodied onto the target was still identifiable. It was the image of Jimmy Neutron, who had left him with the spinal injury and left him subjugated to a life of pain and misery. Worst of all, he had stopped the development of his grandest scheme of all for unlimited global power.

But the plans were safe, thanks to him, the man thought as he tossed the target aside and wheeled away, back towards the elevator. "Soon, Jimmy," he said, his voice raspy yet clearly accented with an elegant Queen's English, "you will get yours. Oh you will get yours indeed."

Before he reached the elevator, he was stopped by a very angelic voice that he had come to love and lust after. Despite its beauty, the message it carried to him was anything but wanted. "Our agent just reported in. Neutron evaded the explosion. Now he's probably going to try and get some back up from his friends. His other friends."

He wheeled around as the woman approached him, mature, full hips swaying as she walked towards him. Her ebony black hair flowed freely down her back, a black one-piece suit wrapping every curve of her body. She sat down on his lap and kissed him on his lip. However, he was too angry to return it. "Then have our agent follow him when he goes to meet them. I want all of them to pay. Every single one of them."

"And then?" the woman said as she straddled him and he rolled towards the elevator.

The man smiled as the elevator doors closed behind them. "The world is ours."

* * *

**The Afterthought:**

**Author: It's here! Military Science II is here! It's here! It's here!**

**Jimmy: (Hits Author upside the head) Alright, alright, we get it!**

**Cindy: And you had to open up the story with an explosion, huh?**

**Author: I blame my watching War too many times. You know, War, starring Jet Li and Jason Stathem? In stores now? Go buy it and watch 'cause it's kickass awesome?**

**Jimmy: You do know that they're not paying you for advertising stuff on here, right?**

**Author:...**

**Jimmy: You're an idiot, you know that?**

**Author: Shaddup! (Throws Jimmy over a guard rail)**

**Cindy: Ugh, so what's the whole plot of this story anyways? It's starting to look like a James Bond movie**

**(A band begins to play the James Bond theme. The whole James Bond bullet scenes starts out and Jimmy walks in. He turns around to shoot at the camera that's following him but misses several times. Ends up charging and pistol whips the camera.)**

**Author: You asked for it**

**Emily: Big bro, are you high?**

**Author: Nope, I'm just drunk.**

**Jimmy: Terrific. Hey, where's Shaojia?**

**Author: ... Um...**

**Jimmy: You didn't kill him, did you?**

**Author: No...**

**Crazy Girl From VA: I did!**

**Jimmy: Who are you?**

**Crazy Girl From VA: Someone who's going to kill you if you ask me another question**

**Author: Relax, gang, she's the new help. Gang, Wendy. Wendy, the typewriter monkeys**

**Shaojia: For the last time, we are not typewriter monkeys!**

**Author: (To Wendy) I thought you killed him**

**Wendy: Yeah, me too (throws Shaojia over a railing)**

**Cindy: Well, there's the Afterthought**

**Jimmy: I kinda missed this**

**Wendy: (Shotputs a fire extinguisher at Jimmy's head) New cast member!**


	2. Who You Gonna Call?

**Chapter 2:**

**Who You Gonna Call?**

* * *

_"If there's one thing that I've come across that is a pure destroyer of worlds, conqueror of cities, the root of all Evil, it is this: Politics. And if the Enforcers become too politically polarized and blinded, we're all screwed in the ass." Wang Shaojia, W-12 _

* * *

Jimmy booted up the power system to his supercomputer. His heart and mind was racing. Someone has just attempted to kill him using a bomb in his car. Luckily, his car wasn't like normal cars and the schematics were different, the engine actually being stored in the trunk, so the planter of the bomb, no doubt confused and tired of looking around for the engine to hook it up so that it would blow when he started the engine, put it under the car or somewhere and set it toa timer, a hair trigger, a motion sensor,or remote detonation or something.

'But what if I hadn't noticed it and Cindy was in it?' Jimmy mulled over his head as the supercomputer began the memory check. He ignored it and let it do the complete check. He shook his head. 'No, I can't think of that now. No use in it.' Finally, the computer booted up.

It took him to Sammy, the Enforcer AI Jimmy designed to be the commandant for the N-12 Enforcer District. Since no one but him had ever gone on assignment since the war ended, there was no need to develop the N-12 Enforcer District extensively. There were a few vacation houses, some automated restaurants to serve the guests of those houses, a prison in case Jimmy had managed to capture anyone alive, and of course his central office/second house.

"Good morning, Mr. Neutron, sir," Sammy greeted, his virtual head appearing on screen. As a prototype, Jimmy hadn't worked out all of the kinks out of Sammy's system or apply a realistic layer of programming to make Sammy more than a floating green human head.

Jimmy shook his head and growled throatily. "What's so good about it? Someone tried to assassinate me."

"What!" Sammy cried, distressed. "Who would want to assassinate you, sir?"

"That's what I want to find out," Jimmy replied. "Pull up a list of all of my past enemies.Just the ones that are still alive and aren't in prison."

Sammy hesitated. "Yes sir, but as my programming isn't as complex, it may take some time."

"How long?" Jimmy asked.

"Roughly 30 minutes," Sammy responded.

Jimmy closed his eyes and nodded. "Alright, here's what I need for you to do. Pull up that list and schedule a meeting with the Council. Tell them it's a Priority Beta; Attempted Assassination of a high-ranking Enforcer, possible discovery of theEnforcer program byextra parties. Then, send a buzz to my cell when you're done. I'll go around to make sure everything's secure out there."

"Will do, sir."

Jimmyleft the computer and ran his hands through his chestnut brown hair. He had gotten rid of his once iconic ice cream scoop hairdo back during the war. Now, he kept his hair cut short in a civillian-style crew cut. He heard sirens outside. No doubt the police coming to check on the explosion eminating from near the residence of Retroville and the Earth's protector.

He got into the air lift that took him back to groundside. After so much fighting, killing, and bloodshed in his career as an Enforcer, he had always been amazed on how quickly all that fighting and violence could disappear. But he knew all too well that the peace could just as quickly disappear.

"But who would want to attack me?" Jimmy muttered to himself as he walked towards the front of his house. "Strych, Calamitous, and Goobot are dead, so it can't be them. But who else?"

When he reached he front yard of his house, he saw Officer Tubbs, the obese police chief of Retroville. "Top of the morning, to ya, General," Tubbs greeted, referencing Jimmy's military rank as the Grand General of the N-12 Enforcer Army, composed of the volunteer forces from the war along with the 125th, 432nd, and 246th US Army Infantry Divisions, placed under Jimmy's command after the Enforcer 'clean-up crews' set about making everybody who's anybody know that Jimmy is the new head honcho on the block. "Now, do you mind telling me about what happened here? There was a report of an explosion."

Jimmy nodded. "Someone tried to kill me," he answered.

"Kill you!" Tubbs echoed. "Who'd want to do that? Didn't you kill that Strych fella? Maybe it's one of his friends.Well, let me tell you what, General; there's no way in Hell, uh, pardon my French, that the police will just sit idly by and let this happen. No sir-ree, I'm putting you and your family and friends under police protection."

Jimmy nodded his thanks. "Thanks, Chief. Also, can you try and get me access to the city's surveillance system? I might be able to find something on there."

"I'll try to see what I can do, but the cams have been down since yesterday. Someone spilled root beer all over it, but don't you worry sir, I'll really try to see what I can do about that," Tubbs replied before waddling back to his Police Interceptor.

Running his hands through his hair again, he tried to assess the situation. His car had been converted into a bombin an attempt to assassinate him. The cameras being down are no doubt due to the assassin as well in case Jimmy wanted to track him or her down using that, meaning he or she was no amatuer. The assassin might still be somewhere in Retroville and probably knows that Jimmy is still alive. And if he, or she, knows that he is still alive, then so does the assassin's master. The question is, who is the master?

He ticked off all of his enemies, trying to recall them from the group at the first League of Villains. 'Let's see, I haven't seen from Grandma Taters in a while, or Baby Eddie. But last I checked both of them are held in Guantanamo Bay Supervillain Incarceration Center and the government hasn't told me anything about an escape so they must still be in there.' Jimmy tried to think harder. 'Beautiful Gorgeous I remember that she's off on a honeymoon with that garbage alien guy. Wonder if the Love Potion's already worn off? Strych, Calamitous, and Goobot are dead, that I know. Who could it be?'

A voice snapped his attention back to his surroundings. "Jimmy!" He looked over to his right where Cindy was calling from him in Libby's sports convertible with Sheen in the back. It reminded Jimmy a little of the old days when the gang would assemble in a time of crisis, except this time Carl was not with them. Back in '03, Carl and his family moved to Alaska because his father wanted to realize his life long dream of whale spotting. He hadn't heard from him since.

Libby put the car into a 180 degree turn and parked it right in front of Jimmy's house. "What happened, Jimmy?" Libby asked as she got out of the car along with everyone else.

"Someone tried to kill me," Jimmy replied as he eyed the wreckage of his hovercar. "I'm having Sammy run a scan on the status and locations of all my arch nemesis right now. It should be done under half an hour."

"Tried to kill you?" Sheen echoed. Since their childhood days, Sheen had matured greatly, having grown out of his Ultralord phase. However, most suspected thatit was due to the fact thatsaid TV show had been cancelled since 2004 and that he had gradually coped with it, much like one copes with the death of a loved one. However, he had retained his characteristic random fits ofinsanity andregularly attends a psychologist at the request of his friends. "I told you that you should've have pissed off Colonel McSwane and the Atomic Monkey Special Forces Squad!" There have been no break-throughs whatsoever.

Jimmy nodded. "I don't know who but I'm definitely gonna find out."

Cindy sighed. "Well, I don't think it would be a good idea to go to the church now. The entire town's probably heard the explosion or heard about it, more than likely both. Let's just go inside and wait for the local press to come here or something."

"Good idea," Jimmy agreed as he led them to the house. When they got inside, Jimmy went straight for the TV. "I want to check on CNN, maybe whoever tried to off me got someone else, too, the President, the Chinese Premeir, whoever. At least, whoever hired the guy to off me anyways. Whoever they are, these people are pros."

They all sat around Jimmy's TV as Ralph Turner narrated a chilling turn of events. Unlike his usual monotone and stoicdemeanor, Turner seemed very stressed and disshelved, which greatly worried everyone in the room. "Uh, I For those of you just tuning in, a tragic turn of events has, uh, developed. Just 15 minutes ago, a nuclear missiledetonated inthe Pacific Ocean just 15 nautical miles off the coast of California and we just started receiving reports of people dying in the streets ofcities all along the West Coast, uh, Oakland, San Diego, Los Angeles, uh This This is unbelieveable folks, um I am getting word from the United States government, uh All citizens in those states on the West Coast are to stayindoors. Um, the United StatesNational Guardis on their way to evacuate, uh help to evacuate Oh dear God God help us The figures are they're just staggeringquot;

Jimmy, Cindy, Sheen, and Libby all stared in shock at the TV monitor as they watched the developments continue. "Uh, as of now, we do not have any idea where the nuke came from, but based on the trajectory, the US government has narrowed the culprits down to, um, to several countries in Eastern Asia, primarily the People's Republic of China and North Korea. Uh, we, um, as of right now casualties are in the tens of thousands all along the Californian coastline, primarily in the Los Angeles-Santa Monica area. All citizensnot in these areas and areliving in states lining the Pacific Ocean are urged to leave their homes and move eastward to avoid the radioactive fallout coming from the ocean. All citizens away from the coast and explosion are to leave their homes, I repeat, leave your homes and move east. This is serious people, I can't stress this enough. Oh God, this is, this is pure insanity. This is a nightmare."

"Um, this just in, we have receivedrumors that the UN Weapons Inspector sent to China to check it for Weapons of Mass Destruction has been killed by unknown assailants within the Chinese capital of Beijing as of 20 minutes ago in his hotel. Uh, our researchers are attempting to find where these rumors came from and are checking if they are true, but ladies and gentlemen, if this is true, the United States of America just might be going to war with China. I I don't want to say anything further, but I do urge all Americans everywhere to please pray for your country and pray that we can all get through this. God help us. God help us all."

Jimmy put his head in his hands. "How is this all happening? And at once. It can't be a coincidence. it just can't be. This has to be alllinked somehow, I just know it. Why would China want to nuke us? We're their trade partners, God dammit! We're their allies!" He jumped to his feet. "I got to get to the bottom of this. Someone has just pushed over the world's largest set of dominoes and this mess is just going to get bigger and bigger."

"Where are you going?" Cindy asked as she followed him. Libby and Sheen just continued to watch the TV in shock.

Jimmy walked towards the stairs. "I need to talk to the President. I have to find out what in God's name's happening. This just can't be right."

"I don't know what to think right now, Jimmy," Cindy said. "But I think the President's got a lot on his plate right now."

"Cindy," he snapped. "If the President needs help, then by God I'll get him help, from the Enforcers. If not their military presence then their humanitarian efforts. Or at least a clean-up crew or something, maybe we can link the sonuvabitch that tried to kill me toall this.But first I'll have to figure out just what the Hell is happening."

Cindy reared back in shock that Jimmy had snapped at her. He never snapped at her. At least, not anymore. But she sucked it up. He was right. The Enforcers could definitely iron out the situation. But first he'd have to figure out what the situation is. And her blubbering about his insensitiveness definitely isn't helping. "I'll, uh, go watch the news downstairs."

As she left, Jimmy realized his mistake. With an annoyed groan, he muttered, "Cindyquot; But she was already down the stairs. "Dammit," he muttered. He didn't care that he had sworn more in the last 10 minutes than he had his entire life and that it truly wasn't like him. However, at the moment, circumstances permitted it. Afterall, the United States of America had just been nuked, presumably by its closest trade partner and ally. If he didn't get to the bottom of this, nuclear Hell might erupt.

He entered his room. Goddard, old and rusty as he now was, got up to his feet and barked weakly. "Not now, boy," he muttered. "Wait, Goddard! Set up a link with the President of the United States and put him on Screen 1." Goddard barked affirmatively. He picked up the remote from the nightstand and pointed it at his TV. Instead of turning to another CNN coverage of the developing story, the Oval Office came on screen. The President of the United States was swamped by attendants and his staff, trying frantically to organize it.

Jimmy cleared his throat. The President and everyone in the room lurched in surprise before recognizing who was there. Thanks to the Enforcer clean-up program, Jimmy was more or less the de facto President for Life in times of crisis such as the case was now. President Matthew Haywood looked at him. "I was wondering when you'd show up, Mr. Neutron."

"Sorry I'm late," Jimmy replied wryly. "My car was bombed."

"Your car was bombed!" President Haywood echoed in shock. He then noticed all the unnecessary bodies in the room and ordered them to leave. After they had all left, Haywood repeated but in a calmer tone, "You car was bombed?"

"Yes, bombed, Mr. President," Jimmy repeated. "Just about around the same time that the UN Weapons Inspector was reported as dead by CNN and around the same time the Pacific was nuked causing people all along California's coastlineto suffer from high doses of radiation. I want you to get Premeir Yi on the phone so you two can have a little chat. I'm going to go to Enforcer HQ and see what support I can get from there. All of these events are too close together. It just can't be a coincidence. I want agents on the ground. None of my people are very well trained to look around without setting off any alarms and in truth, neither am I."

"Thank you, son,"Haywood replied, letting out a deep sigh. "The American people are indebted to you and if you can prevent us from going to war, so are the Chinese people no doubt. But you gotta hurry and get this all straightened out, son. Want me to brief Premeir Yi on the Enforcers or do you guys wanna send in someone to rough him up like you did to me a while back."

"No time," Jimmy answered, ignoring his snide comment. "And no reason. Brief him only if you feel that you absolutely have to. Personally, the less people that know about the Enforcers, the better. Don't want to set off a religion war while we're at it. Speaking of war, ignore Congress and the Senate and whatever they say, like usual. Don't go to war with China unless you absolutely think you have to, and by that, don't go to war with China! We have nukes and they have nukes; this could start a nuclear war."

Haywood shook his head. "I don't think I'll be able to convince the politicians. This time, we're pretty sure we know who we're shooting at."

"This time?" Jimmy remarked.

Haywood ignored him. "If I say no, they're going to push for a vote of no confidence."

"Well then send them a little message, secretly, that I said no war," Jimmy replied. "At least not until after you talk to the Chinese premeir. I need to get the Council to see if they can send any extra humanitarian forces over. Contact the military base here and have them use the EIS to get over to the West Coast."

"I'll see if I can hold this ship 'till you get back," Haywood replied. "But right now, I think we might as well just christen it Titanic."

Jimmy cut the connection before walking over to slump in the chair in front of his desk. Goddard walked over to him and sat down. Jimmy let his hand fall and stroked Goddard's metallic head. "Well, now I just have to wait for Sammy to clear the meeting and pull up that list."

"Speak of the devil and he shall come," a voice from atop Jimmy's work desk said. Jimmy looked up and saw that a virtual representation of Sammy's disembodied head floated over the holopad he had installed in there. "It was a slow day at the office, sir. The Council can see you now. The list will be done in a little while."

Jimmy nodded and gave Goddard a last pet on the head before walking towards the door. "Thanks Sammy. Keep Retroville on surveillance and have Libby contact me on my cochlear radio if anymore shit hits the fan. Postpone that list and listen in on that talk, though, between the Pres and the Premeir. I don't want to come home to a nuclear clusterfuck, understand?"

"I really enjoy watching your rhetoric transform from scientific to barbaric, sir, no offense," Sammy joked with a subtle intent to annoy his creator.

"Shove it, Sam," was all Jimmy said before he closed his bedroom door behind him.

He had reached the bottom of the stairs when all eyes had turned on him. "So what happened?" Cindy asked distantly as her eyes went back to the disturbing scene on the TV. "Are we going to war?"

"Not yet," Jimmy muttered as he took out his M9. "Cindy, you're coming with me to Central. We have to file a report to get the Enforcer Humanitarian Corps to send some people over here to help with the evacuation effort in Cali. I already had Mr. President dispatch the entire US Army-Enforcer detattchment over by EIS." Jimmy pulled back the action on the M9 to eject the live round in it, took out the ammo magazine, put the live round back in the magazine, replaced the magazine, and re-cocked it. "Whoever tried to off me is probably still out there. I've got Sammy manning surveillance and Police Chief Tubbs is devoting the entire police force, all 10 officers, to protect everyone."

He turned to Sheen. "Go get your gun, Sheen. If worse comes to worse and we're going to war... You know what to do, General."

Like a switch had been flipped, Sheen went from unstable lunatic to deadpan-serious military officer. He straightened his back and saluted sharply. "Yes sir!"

Jimmy returned the salute. He and Cindy then walked out of the house. Holding a small badge in his hand, he pressed the center insignia. It was a handheld Enforcer Teleporter that he had designed along with a few other head Enforcer scientists to send Enforcer leaders back to headquarters, thus causing the previous one that had to be installed into a car to be obsolete. They both disappeared in a blinding flash of light, along with a certain assassin who had been staking out in the azalea bushes waiting to strike.

* * *

Sammy's digital eyes analyzed the two national leaders from his place in the White House mainframe. Thanks to his creator's links to the highest echelons of government, he was able to view the conversation between the US President and the Chinese Prime Minister live from the camera that normally allowed Jimmy to see the President as he talked to him. The TV screen that would normally allow the President to do the same, however, was off.

Premeir Yi was speaking to the President through another TV screen similar to the one the President had just finished talking to Jimmy on. "Again, Mr. President," Yi said in slightly-accented but otherwise perfect English, "I express great sorrow for these unfortunate accidents, but I am telling you the truth that we did not launch that missile. We do not even have weapons of mass destruction."

"Don't give me that crap, Premeir," Haywood snapped. "You know as well as I do that you guys have nukes. This is off the record here. Wanna know a secret? We got nukes, too. But they're just to keep other nations from getting too big for their britches. Now I want you to come clean here. What the Hell happened? Was it an accident? Our chief scientists calculated the trajectory. That missile came from China, somewhere in the west there, the calculations aren't entirely accurate, but it's from Western to Central China. So what's it gonna be, Yi? My people are pissed, I'm pissed, Hell, all of America is pissed."

"And my people are just as angry," Yi replied furiously. "You are our greatest trade ally. Prime Minister Charkovsky of Russia is breathing down my neck and as soon as he's done, he's going to be breathing down yours, trying to get us to calm down. Russia is our closest ally, figuratively and literally, and Charkovsky is concerned that we might just light a match under the world's biggest powder keg."

"That's what I want to avoid," Haywood retorted.

Yi ignored him. "As for the nuke, I don't think it was an accident. Our nuclear launch codes are held by one person and one person only, me. And at the time of this incident, I was reading a bed time story to my children so I don't think I was the one who did this to you who would no doubt in turn convert Beijing to Hiroshima. I believe this was an internal affair, or a terrorist affair, perhaps both."

Haywood closed his eyes and sighed. "Alright, I believe you. For now. So then, what the Hell is happening?"

"I don't know," Yi said. "I'm running a check on our nuclear weapons stash, or at least my Minister of the Interior is. Minister Han will have the complete list by morning. Your afternoon, that is."

"Thank you." Haywood slumped in his chair and rubbed his temples. "Now, what is all that business about that UN Inspector guy. Who whacked him? I sure as Hell hope you guys didn't or we're really gonna have some problems."

"I figured as much," Yi muttered dryly. "I have no idea about that either. From what I here, the hotel where the Inspector was staying had sent some security up there because someone staying in the room next door heard a noise and they found him in a puddle of his own blood with his head cut completely off."

"Jesus H. Christ!"

"Yes, and that's not even the half of it. No prints. Nothing. No signs of forced entry, no struggle, nothing. The Inspector seemed to have been killed in his sleep. These are very skilled people. I have reason to believe that this is an internal affair, maybe an anti-Communist Triad organization that wants to start a _coup de tat_ or maybe someone who believes that the socialist-democratic state of China would be better off as the United Socialist States of China. I'll have my Internal Minister look into this. I have no idea what to do right now, Matthew."

Haywood sighed and put his head in his hands. "Great, just great." Suddenly, the Vice-President charged into the room followed by the Secretary of Homeland Security, the Secretary of State, the Secretary of Defense, and the Secretary of War. "Oh what now?!"

"Sir, one of our nukes just went off," the Secretary of War reported.

Haywood nearly fainted but his anger kept him conscious. "SAY WHAT?!" He stood up from his chair which, with the force of his stand, was sent into the windowed-wall behind him and cracked some of the glass. "How the Hell did that happen? Who the Hell let it happen? And more importantly, where the Hell is this thing going?!" The eyes of the members of his Cabinet all turned to Premeir Yi who looked as if he was about to pass out. "Oh dear God... No... Come on!!"

"I'm afraid so, Mr. President," the VP answered.

"For Christ's sake," Haywood muttered as he banged his head on the table a couple of times. "Well, what can we do to derail it?"

"We can launch a cruise missile at it," the Secretary of Defense said.

Yi looked up in gratefullness. "Will it work?"

"It might," the Secretary of State said. "It's high in the air right now, we can send in a cruise missile, or you can, Premeir Yi, and we can get that thing outta the air. Then, all of us can sit on a boat somewhere in the Pacific, have a few rounds of scotch, then figure out just what the Hell we're gonna say to the press. What the Hell's going on here, Mr. President, pardon the French. I see that you and Premeir Yi are on good terms, or so it seems."

"We are," Haywood admitted. "He says it was an accidental launch or a launch influenced by a third party."

"Meaning," the Secretary of War aded, "there's a slight possibility some other country who's pissed at one or both of us wants us to go to war, and by that meaning he wants us to send nukes at each other."

"Bingo," Haywood replied and saw that Premeir Yi nodded in agreement. "Someone, or a lot of someones, wants to take out two of the biggest countries so they only have to deal with one, Russia."

"Or maybe someone, or a lot of someones, wants to take out two of the biggest countries so they _are_ the only one, Russia," the Secretary of State commented dryly.

"The Hell are you talking about?" the VP shot back. "As far as it has come to my knowledge, the Ruskies are our friends. They are our allies and they are the Chinese's allies, too, isn't that right Mr. Premeir?" He turned to look at Premeir Yi who simply nodded.

Haywood then slammed his fists on his desk, startling everyone. "We can talk politics later. Right now, how about we all focus on a little thing carrying about 150 megatons of whoop-ass that's going to flatten something in China unless we launch that damn cruise missile!"

"On it," the Secretary of Defense said before shooting out of the room.

Premeir Yi coughed. "Ahem, I should probably see to it that my own people are under control, monitor the investigation on how that nuclear missile got sent off, who sent it off, and why they sent it off, as well as prepare a late night press release for anyone else still awake in Zhonghua Renminguo. Oh, and send a cruise missile of our own to meet the nuke halfway in case yours can't catch it."

"Good idea," Haywood replied. "Won't want whatever bastards that did this to get away with the satisfaction that their plan worked completely."

"I'll also arrange for troops to help aide in the evacuation, if you'd accept my offer and sincerest condolences," Yi added.

"Not a good idea, sirs," the VP spoke up. "The American people might see this as a hostile gesture. An invasion, if you will. We already have US Infantry on the ground anyways and some are a little too trigger-happy. We don't want to do anything too drastic in the wound just yet. We should probably release a press statement, tell the people just what's going on here, make them know that the Chinese are our allies."

"Another terrorist attack?" Haywood responded dryly. "I don't think the media's gonna buy it. Even if it is true."

"Unless we get hit too," Premeir Yi replied solemnly. "Maybe if the nuclear missile hits a non-essential target, perhaps an abanboned missile silo or military base. Maybe then that will not only convince your people but my people as well. Can we change the trajectory?"

"It just might," Haywood conceded and hit the intercom for his executive secretary. "Sharon, get this to Andy. Belay that cruise missile if you think you can change the nuke's trajectory. The Premeir is willing to sacrifice a non-essential target to make it all look like a two-pronged terrorist attack, which it just might be. That'll get everyone looking the other way while we try to figure out where our asses are and who kicked them. Hold for a second, Sharon." He put his hand over the intercom and turned to Premeir Yi. "Got one for me?"

"It should be in range," Yi replied. "Northeastern China, abandoned military base in use during the Second Sino-Japanese War. No civilization in miles. Worst it will do is make it difficult for any wild life to pass through it for the next thousand years or something. I'll email you the coordinates, Matthew."

"Thanks," Haywood said before taking his hand off the intercom. "Sharon, I'm gonna forward the coordinates of the new target to you that the Chinese Prime Minister just sent me. Get it to Phil and tell him to hurry the Hell up before it's too late." He then cut to the intercom. "Gentlemen, how about we all take a little break and prepare our respective speeches to the press?"

"Sounds good," was the all around echo.

* * *

"What do you mean no?" Jimmy demanded as he sat behind his desk in the circular Council Chambers room. Cindy sat to his left while an empty chair took up his right, three more chairs behind him in the section partisoned off for N-12. He looked out from his place on the 12th ring of booths away from the Council Chambers, the booths and rings stacked like a staircase leading out from teh center. There was about 45 attendance of the entire Council. "My people are dying out there! China just sent a nuke at us!"

"And again," the M-2 leader, al-Hishad Mualm replied, "We can't send anyone in just for humanitarian efforts. Our combined forces are spread out too thin already in I-4, O-16, S-1, Q-34. L-72, and Y-89. Don't even make me mention B-1, C-1, T-2, or Z-20. 30 universes, Mr. Neutron, are at war right now, half with an alien race, half with themselves. That's the worst we've ever had it. Especialy since that lull-down back in '02. Our forces are needed elsewhere. We can't spare it."

"Mualm's right," Howard Wohl, W-41, added. "And your Earth isn't in danger. The ones just mentioned, as well as the one's we've been listing for the last hour, are in danger. It's terrible that people along your Cali getting killed by radiation, but it's better that way than having everyone, and I repeat everyone, not just American, Russian, Chinese, French, Somalian, everyone in every universe be destroyed when our forces can't hold off some megalomaniacal nutcase from destroying the Earth and starting interdimensional Armageddon as we speak. You'll just have to ride it out. Compared to the rest of us, yours is just a boo-boo."

Jimmy stared at disbelief at everyone in the Council Chambers as they began to applaud and murmur in agreement. "I can't believe you people. I know for a fact that U-16 isn't engaged anywhere. Isn't that right, Mr. Urdiales?"

Roberto Urdiales, U-16, coughed slightly as all eyes turned to him for his response before regaining his composure. "You haven't been in the Council Chambers and enlightened yourself in our discussions for weeks, now, Mr. Neutron. As of last Thursday, my troops have been sent to aide the Sol Federation's efforts in Z-20 in junction of the armies of several of my peers. But on the other hand, other than that little business in your own universe 5 years, Mr. Neutron, I don't think your people have been engaged in any military operations for a long while, not since 2005, I believe."

"There aren't enough people in my army for it to even be called an army!" Jimmy retorted, standing up and shoving his chair backwards. Cindy pursed her lips and put her hand on his arm to urge him to calm down. He looked down slightly and sighed before sitting back down. "And my men fought long and hard during those wars, 5 in a year. I think we've more than earned just a little bit of credit."

"I'm the only one in my universe," Mike O'Hara, O-97, replied. "I just got back from about a year's work in T-4. A one-man army just went to war for a year and came back. You're lucky I did come back or else our forces would be more spread thin in case something happened back home."

Jimmy sighed. "Fine, I'll find a way to get the evacuations moving faster on my own, then."

"Good," said the elected chairman the Honorable Marcos Zaletta, Z-19. "Now, if you're done, Mr. Neutron-"

"I'm not," Jimmy replied stone-faced. "I still have the matter of a recent attempt on my life."

The Council erupted into a gaggle of incoherent murmurs. "An attempt on your life?" Zaletta echoed. "An assassination of an Enforcer leader? Well, what do you want us to do?"

"I want a clean-up crew to look into it," Jimmy replied. "My universe's forces aren't that well trained for that."

"Well, maybe it's just one of your enemies," Mason Kramer, K-13, replied. "What do you expect us to do about it?"

"I expect you," Jimmy replied, biting back his temper, "to at least act like you want to help but can't instead of saying, 'Sorry, not my problem.' What's wrong with you people? We're warriors of God. We should at least act like it instead of pushy brats that don't want to do anything about a problem because, 'Nah, it's not worth my time, I'm busy.' Jesus Christ, this is pathetic."

"Do not use the Lord's name in vain! Especially not in this Holy House given to us by He," John O'Hannigan, a 78-year-old F-41 representative in place of Alex Finley, reprimanded. "And as for your last comment, I think perhaps you should learn to respect your elders. By Enforcer regulation, our only priority is the protection of the universes. We need to conserve our resources in case more wars arise."

"Yeah, I'm sure you do," Jimmy bit out bitterly as he activated the lift inbetween the two rows of chairs in the N-12 booth. "That will be all, Mr. Chairman." With that, he activated the lift, Cindy just barely getting on as it began its rapid descent downwards.

They rode down the lift in silence for a little bit. "Jimmy?" He turned to look at Cindy who looked back at him with a worried expression written all over her face. "Are you okay?"

Slowly, he nodded. "Yeah, just pissed." He closed his eyes in anger before venting it onto the walls of the lift by punching it. "Damn the Council, damn the wars, and damn the beurocrats!"

She grabbed Jimmy's wrist so that he couldn't do himself anymore damage and pressed herself against him. "It's alright, just take it easy."

"Sorry," he muttered shamefully as he glared at the empty space in front of him while Cindy wrapped her arms around him and placed her head on his chest.

"So what are we going to do now?" she asked as she attempted to calm him down. It simply hurt her to see the Mr. Hyde side of Jimmy, a monsterous, barbaric, killing machine that held no remorse and an unspeakable anger. Perhaps it was due to all the teasing in his childhood and perhaps it was due to the stresses of Enforcer work, probably both. Either way, she didn't like it.

He instantly brightened. "Of course! Why didn't I think of it before?"

"What are you talking about?" Cindy asked as she broke the embrace.

Jimmy ignored her as he continued his monologue. "He should know how to get around the beurocracies. And if he can't, maybe he might be able to send his people in to help."

"Who are you talking about?" Cindy asked again.

"An old friend," Jimmy said, cracking a grin. "We'll stop by the N-12 District. Maybe pack a few things, arm ourselves, anything we need to do before we leave. Wait, I should talk to Libby, too, check back on what's happening over at home."

"What in God's name's going on?!" Cindy shouted, more than a little annoyed now.

"I already told you, we're going to visit an old friend." Jimmy pressed two fingers to his ear and squeezed the lobe. "Call: Libby." Yes, he did redesign the Enforcer cochlear implant so that it could also work as a bluetooth cellular phone. After 3 rings, Libby picked up. "Libby, how're things going over there?"

"Jimmy, you won't believe this," Libby said, sounding both confused but delighted. "We're not going to war with China! We're just fighting terrorists again." She said the last part with a sign and much trepidation.

"Come again?" Jimmy replied, now also confused. They walked off of the elevator as it came to a stop.

"The Chinese prime minister and President Haywood just got done talking. It's some... terrorist, internal affairs thing, an inside job. They don't think it's even remotely Middle East-involved, though. It's someone new."

Jimmy grunted. "I bet it is. If it is a new terror cell, it's probably headed by the same megalomaniacal pshyco that tried to take me out of the picture. Thanks Libby, me and Cindy are gonna be gone for a little bit. We couldn't get the help we wanted from the Council, so I'm gonna ask someone who will."

"Who?" Cindy, who had been trying to hear as much of the conversation as possible, was asking the exact same question in her head.

"Let's just say an old friend," Jimmy replied, tormenting both girls. "I've gotta go. Worse comes to worse, start an evac of town and get everyone to our district." He then cut the connection.

"So you're not gonna tell anyone?" Cindy asked wrly, her arms crossed over her chest and a bemused expression on her face.

Jimmy shrugged. "Well, truth be told, I don't even know if he's still alive."

* * *

The assassin was still very disoriented after the flash of light had teleported him... whereever he was now. He was in a mysterious parking lot world, hiding under a car. He had seen where his target had gone, but didn't dare follow him or the woman with him. This was unfamiliar territory to begin with and he sure as Hell wasn't going to go into a strange spire-like building in the middle of Parking Lot Land.

His patience was rewarded, however, when he spotted from under a Dodge pick-up his targets leaving the spire and walking towards his position. When he had been teleported into this new place, he had appeared underneath of said pick-up while his targets appeared in the empty parking space next to him.

Now, they were walking towards him. Tempting as it was to kill them right here and and right now, he knew it was a bad idea to do so without learning more about his wherabouts, how to get back from whereever this place was, and how they get here in the first place. Besides, he had orders.

After the two were out of hearing range, he had contacted his master. He was worried that he wouldn't be able to contact him when he had pulled out his cell phone over an hour ago, and was pleasantly suprised that he could, although the reception was absolute crap. When he had explained everything that had transpired and everything that he knew and could tell about from his position, his master gave him orders to follow them and stay out of sight. He was not to attack them until he was back on familiar ground.

That wouldn't prove too difficult for the assassin. He stayed underneath the pick-up as the moving sidewalk that the two traveled on brought them nearer. He heard his primary target, Jimmy Neutron, say to his secondary and additional target, Cindy Vortex, "If you want, we can go there now."

"Sure," Cindy replied. "I want to know just what's so secret that you won't tell me until we actually get there."

Jimmy simply smirked. "Well, actually, I could tell you where we're going, but I just love teasing you more!" He flinched when Cindy punched him hard in the arm. "Ow! Why'd you hit me?"

Now it was Cindy's turn to smirk as they stepped off of the walkway and into the empty parking space. "I could have just kept arguing with you, but I just love hitting you more!"

"That is not the same thing!" Jimmy replied with a mock-glare as he rubbed his arm.

"Oh suck it up, you big baby," Cindy replied as she watched him turn around to use the control panel beside the parking space which was identical to the control panels near every other parking space around the parking lot around the spire. "So, where are we going?"

"You'll see," Jimmy replied. "I'm surprised you haven't figured it out already..." Then, he pressed a final button and they were both engulfed in a white light.

The assassin sprung out from his hiding place and jumped into the white light before it disappeared. He had no idea where he was going, what to expect, or how the white light was transporting him anyways. But as far as he was concerned, all he wanted to do was get back home and take a vacation. Soon, they all dissappeared into the blinding white light.

* * *

**The Afterthought:**

**Author: And there we have it! Chapter numero dos of MSII: Total War!**

**Jimmy: MSII: Total War? What is this, a fanfic on an internet site or a video game?**

**Cindy: A pretty bad video game.**

**Jimmy: Or a bad W.E.B. Griffin novel. You know, W.E.B. Griffin, acclaimed writer for several realistic secret agent, police, and military novels?**

**Author: Now who's advertising stuff without getting payed?**

**Jimmy: Who says I'm not getting paid?**

**Author: Say what?! (Gets a bunch together an angry mob) Come on, boys! We got ourselves some published writers to kill! Yee-haw!**

**Cindy: Ahem, before you do that, why is this chapter strangely more... political and W.E.B. Griffin-like?**

**Author: Oh, that? That would be my jackass of a cousin's fault. By the way, where is Satan of Earth anyways?**

**Author's Cousin: (Appears in sudden inferno bursting from the ground) You rang?**

**Author: Aww, why does everyone from my writing crew that I introduce get a kick-ass intro?**

**Author's Cousin: Because everyone in your writing crew is significantly better learned than you and are exponentially more competent.**

**Author: Uh, Jimmy, translation?**

**Jimmy: He just called you stupid and an incompetent nimrod.**

**Author: Just making sure (Throws his cousin over a railing)**

**Author's Cousin: (Reappears in burst of fire) Ahem. Boo.**

**Author: (Jumps over railing in surprise) Ahhh!**

**Author's Cousin: I suppose I should introduce myself, typewriter chimps. My name is James-**

**Shaojia: And we are not typewriter chimps! Or monkeys! Wait... They're the same thing, aren't they?**

**Wendy: Yes they are (Tosses Shaojia over a railing)**

**Jimmy: Well, let's see Shaojia and Author are both incapacitated. That means we can finally end this Afterthought in peace.**

**James: Anyone else notice we've been throwing people over railings? Are we on some type of bridge or something?**

**(Camera zooms out. Yes, they are on some typoe of bridge. A rickety wooden bridge.)**

**Cindy: You idiot...**

**(Sumo wrestlers rain from the sky and destroy the bridge. Everyone falls down into the crevice below)**

**Author: (Appears in bolt of lightning over where bridge was) REVENGE! (Remembes he can't fly) Crap... (Falls to his doom)**


	3. Wrong Place, Right Time

**Chapter 3:**

**Wrong Place, Right Time**

* * *

_"If there's one thing I hate more than incompetent dumbasses, it's incompetent dumbasses that expect me to fix their problems for them." Wang Shaojia, W-12_

* * *

Jimmy blinked away the bright lights typical of interuniversal travel. He looked around his surroundings. He and Cindy were in a grassy clearing, the long grasses reaching up to their knees. He heard Cindy gasp as she took in the breathtaking scene. Only in movies and with the vivid imagery of books had he ever had a glimpse of Ancient China. Now, it was right in front of his eyes.

The grass swayed as a gentle breeze passed over them, sending chills down Cindy's spine. A flock of birds flew over them and into the forest nearby. Jimmy took a deep intake of air and was marveled by the purity of it, untainted by industrial fumes and other chemicals. He even felt rejuvenated after breathing the fresh, clean air. It was like breathing in pure oxygen.

"It's beautiful." He looked over at Cindy who was walking towards a steep incline that seemed to overlook a valley of sorts.

"Hold up, Cindy," Jimmy yelled over as he walked over to her. "The EIS has a tendency to send you to a general area near the head Enforcer's home if you don't specify a street, coordiantes, or something like that. And by general area, I mean a location from the head Enforcer's home at least 100 miles away. We should try and see where we are first so I can get us over to the Forbidden City. That's where Shaojia should be."

Wang Shaojia, Jimmy's old friend from the war as well as a fellow Enforcer and general, was the only son of the Emperor of China. After the war, he didn't tell him much but said that the god of his universe wanted him to resign, at least temporarily, so that he could stabilize his own universe, mostly just his own country, so that the wars that were ripping it apart would cease and so would the death toll.

"Shaojia?" Cindy repeated. "That's who we're visiting?"

Jimmy nodded. "Yeah, he's never been a fan of beurocracy. He might be able to settle things out, or at least give me some tips on how to do it myself if he's not done with his business over here."

Cindy shrugged as they continued up the incline. "Well, it's been a long time and look at this clearing. I think he's probably finished with all the warring and just needs to be here for the politics." She was nearly at the edge of the incline when she tripped over something and landed hard on her backside. "Ow..."

Jimmy ran over to her. "You alright?"

Cindy nodded. "Yeah, I just tripped over..." Then, she saw what she tripped over. In the tall grass, she never would have seen it, but now that she was pretty much lying in it, she could see the body of a soldier with an archer's quiver tied across his back. The body looked old perhaps by at least a few days, and the smell was now very apparent over the soft breeze from before.

She screamed. Jimmy knelt down beside her and brought her close. "Ssh, it's okay, what happened, Cindy? Are you alright?"

Her screams became silent as her mouth simply flapped open like that of a fish. She pointed over to the body. Jimmy saw it now, too. "Jesus Christ," he muttered. He looked at Cindy and looked at the body before tip-toeing over to the body. It was a Chinese soldier, as was expected, but dressed in traditional Chinese military armor and had several arrows sticking out of its back. He looked through the grasses, scanning the clearing with experienced eyes, and saw that there were a few more bodies all around, at least 40 in all, with similar wounds scattered all across the cliff edge and hidden exceptionally well under the grasses. It looked like a battle had taken place here.

He looked over at Cindy who had backpedaled away from the body. Then, she stopped. "Hey Jimmy, come here." He complied, although a little confused. "Listen."

He did. "I don't hear anything?"

"Listen closer," she whispered, as if whatever they were listening for would hear them if she said it any louder.

He concentrated. He could hear the light breeze, the soft cawing of birds as they flew over head. But now he heard something different. The vicious screams and yells of humans coupled with the clash of metal, all distant and downwards. He went over to the edge of the cliff that they were on, as far as he dared to go. A few rocks from the cliff face crumbled off and fell down. Despite his better reasoning, he couldn't resist the urge to go over even closer and look down.

What he saw nearly made him stumble backwards in shock. Two armies were fighting each other in classic hand-to-hand combat, swords against sword, spear against spear, arrow against arrow. He looked down at the battle flags. After the war, he took a crash course in learning all there was to know about ancient warfare, should the need arise to fight another one like it, and took a specific interest in Chinese warfare. He learned that the armies would carry battle flags with the surname of their commanding general on it while the colors that their kingdom has claimed bordered its frills. However, sometimes two flags were flown side-by-side; the name of the kingdom or dynasty would be displayed along with the name of the general. This was especially true for the armies led by the leaders of the kingdoms.

Though not completely fluent, Jimmy understood some Chinese, mostly Mandarin, and could read it perfectly now, along with Russian, Italian, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, Greek, Latin, Sanskrit, and heiroglyphics. He read the battle flag of one of the armies which read, Nan Chang, or Southern Chang.

He remembered from when he had talked to Shaojia and remembered that that was the name of one of the four kingdoms of China. After Shaojia's father had led the rebellion along with several significant peasant rebel leaders against the Qing Empire, he had been declared Emperor by the court since he was the one to actually defeat the current Emperor and his guards in combat.

However, as was to be expected, many of the other rebellion leaders wanted to be Emperor as well. It came down to four people: Shaojia's father, Deng Cai, Cao Shan, and Lu Gaozhang. Deng Cai and Lu Gaozhang split off from the rebellion and went to form their own kingdoms while Shaojia's father tried to reorganize and get control of the country. Thus, the kingdom of Tang, led by Deng, and the kingdom of Ming, led by Lu, were formed.

Cao Shan, however, stayed with Shaojia's father just long enough to gain his trust before he attempted to split off. He then attempted to assassinate him, in which he failed and was killed. His eldest son, Cao Ci, then vowed revenge for his entire family before taking the Cao clan south along with his father's share of the rebel army and forming the Southern Chang.

This is what confused Jimmy, though. Where the family name Cao should have been displayed on one of the dual flags beside the flag of Southern Chang, it read instead 'Cong,' also commonly romanized as Tsung. Perhaps there was a regime shift? Or perhaps Cong was the commanding general of this army.

He struck it down as the latter and moved on to identify the other army. He was glad to see that the flags read Beichang, or Northern Chang, and Shaojia's last name, Wang, was displayed beside it. Now he knew that allies were nearby. But first, he had to fix the language barrier.

He took out a small bottle of pills from his pocket and rolled out two pills, giving one to Cindy. "Here, take this."

"What is it?" she asked as she looked at the white capsule.

"It's my experimental Language Absorbtion pill. Take one and you'll be able to speak and understand any language in the world, just as if you had already learned it." He then sighed. "Unfortunately, these are still being tested and fixed. There aren't any severe side effects other than difficulty in going to sleep, which is rare, but they won't last forever. We'll have to take one at least every week to retain its properties."

Cindy nodded. "Well, I don't think we'll be here for that long anyways, so..." She popped the pill in her mouth. Instantly, her eyes clenched shut. When she opened them, she felt much better, smarter even. "Wow," she said in Swahili.

"Focus," Jimmy replied in Mandarin Chinese. "We're in China. Meaning we use Chinese."

"Fine," Cindy replied, now in Mandarin as well. "So now what?"

"We make our way down this cliff and see if we can make talk to one of the generals of that Northern Chang army down there. If we're lucky, Shaojia might even be there." With that, the two explored the clearing and tried to find a way down the cliff, which seemed to be to go back down the incline, circle around, and enter the valley at the Northern Chang's rear flank.

* * *

The assassin laid as prone as he could in the tall grasses, staying just as he was since they had teleported there. He thanked the gods once more that they had been teleported to such a location as opposed to an open, barren clearing where he could have been exposed.

However, he cursed them just as quickly for the strangest of predicaments he had found himself in. Somehow, someway, they had been transported to China, as far as he could tell from conversation. In addition to that, it seemed like they were in Ancient China, seeing as that right next to him, an archer only a few days dead was lying next to him in old-fashioned armor. It all just made his head spin.

On top of that, his targets were now speaking in Mandarin, which he did not know. All thanks to another of his primary objective's magic pills. Now, he had no idea on knowing what was going on and he can't just kill them and take the pills, find out for himself and leave. No, because leaving would require those two. He swore, on the blood of his ancestors, that he would kill them himself once they get out of... whatever, weird, alternate dimension they were in for causing him such a headache. Killing someone had never been so difficult...

But first, he had to get those damn pills so that he'd have something else to report. They were obviously here for a reason and if that reason, this 'Shaojia', was a threat to his master, then it must be terminated.

He crawled away from the corpse of the archer. Then, ushing himself up into a crouch, he followed his targets with swift, silent feet.

* * *

Even from the rear of his forces, he could hear the sounds of battle as his forces and the forces of the Southern Chang continued in their onslaught. Huanglong Pass was the only remaining natural barrier that serperated the powerful Southern Chang army from mowing right into the heart of the Northern Chang, Beijing.

General Tian Quanbei, 17, was pissed to say the least. Not only were his forces forced to retreat from Zhengzhou when the Southern Chang army, led by the notorious Southern Chang military officer General Dian Fu, ambushed both his forces and the forces of the Eastern Ming, both of whom were preoccupied in battle, but now his forces had been forced to turn around and fight because if they let the Southern Chang through Huanglong Pass, the war would be over for the Northern Chang.

On the other hand, another chief reason for his anger and frustration was that he wasn't out up front fighting. And it wasn't because of some beurocratic anomaly or military etiquette or something like that. No, it was better contributed, recently, to his right arm. At Zhengzhou during his retreat, he had been struck in the arm by an arrow. He had a suspicion it was the Southern Chang marksman Zhang Ci who had a personal vendetta against him. Then he remembered he had killed Zhang Ci over a year ago at Xi'an. Nevertheless, though not entirely serious, he had difficulty lifting his arm and as he was not ambidextrous, he could no longer fight, at least for now.

So now, he was confined to his tent overseeing the battle. It would have been wise to use the valley heights as an elevated vantage point, but there were three things about that strategy.

1) was that Dian Fu's forces were so close to them that soldiers in the rear flank had to occasionally swipe backwards at them to keep them from overrunning them. It would have been impossible, as well as stupid and irresponsible, to have his men try and climb the valley because while his men were climbing up the valley and onto the cliffs, Dian would've been well on his way to Beijing. Also, the valley heights were only accessible from the side facing Beijing, apprximately northeast, so there was no way he could have had his forces split and go up either. Then again, that probably would have also been stupid because that would have also left them a clear path straight for Beijing.

2) was that he couldn't have sent archers up there either after the infantry had plugged up the hole. The reason for this being that Southern Chang archers were rumored to be the most accurate and skilled of all the Middle Kingdoms, as was the case with Zhang Ci, though he had died because of a duel with Tian. Despite it being around high noon and with the Sun to their back, the Northern Chang archers would have been no match for their counterparts in the opposite army. Or rather, what was left of the Northern Chang archers. Back in Zhengzhou, when Dian had ambushed, he had ordered his archers to try and flank the Ming forces from their left, from a nearby ridge. That ridge was soon overrun by Dian Fu's calvalrymen as Dian's army swarmed the battlefield and what archers weren't cut down were forced off the ridge and to their deaths. The archers that were left were a result of a simultaneous move to flank the Ming's force on their right flank before the ambush. Now, most of those were archers were dead except for a small 40 that served as a weak artillery battery to combat the Southern Chang archers. That was a losing battle as well.

3) was a problem that couldn't have been helped in any situation. The valley's cliff edges were said to be notoriously unstable. He doubted, and found out the hard way, that they would be able to withstand the force of his men standing and marching on them. Or if they could even support one measly archer as was the case when one of the archers had gotten too close to the edge and the cliff gave way under him, inevitably killing him but ironically at least 5 Southern Chang soldiers with him. 1 for 5 wasn't bad, but it wasn't very good either.

With the only possible way of winning the battle through strategy out of the question, Tian was growing more frustrated by the second as the battle continued. "We need a miracle," he muttered. He turned to his military aide. "Zhi!"

"Yes sir!" Zhi reported, standing at attention before dropping to kowtow.

"I'm going to go out to the front and see if there's something we missed in our surveys of the area. There has to be a way to win this by strategy or a way to stall them until reinforcements from Beijing arrive. When's that supposed to be here?" He already began to get up, strap his war cape over his back and around his neck, and attatched his sword to his sash.

Zhi kept his head bowed while he tried to remember. When he did, he glanced up slightly. "Sir, our messanger left by horse about three days ago. He should be on his way back now, but the reserves should take about another day at the most to prepare and march all the way over here, sir. I'd say by dusk, milord, at the earliest. Most likely... tomorrow morning."

Tian growled angrily. "Dammit! By dusk, we'd probably be crushed and Dian would be on his way to the capital! Don't even bother consider what would happen by tomorrow!" With that, he marched out of his camp.

The sounds of battle were louder than they were inside the camp, which was to be expected. They had been fighting for at least a few days now, perhaps a week. They had run into a few villages and picked up quite an impressive volunteer army to help in the fighting, but that still couldn't help the tired Northern Chang soldiers. The only respite they ever got was when the Southern Chang men wanted a break and Dian allowed them. As loathe as Tian was to admit, Dian had him in his control and it was only a matter of time before they were crushed, unless reinforcements came from Beijing or if the gods themselves lent them a helping hand, perhaps a landslide over the Southern Chang infantry, some thunderbolts, rain maybe.

He began his almost daily routine of strolling near the scattered contingent of small tents that indicated the field infirmaries. There was no real protection from the fighting up front other than a few sentries patrolling and the fact that he had established the main camp at least a mile away from the fighting, a bit farther into the valley, almost at the end of it. His tent was at the far side of it, near the valley's mouth.

There weren't many medical tents. For one thing, there weren't many medics left, about 10 in all. For another, not many soldiers had come in. Usually, they were left for dead on the battlefield because it would be dangerous for a medic to run in, grab his pal, and get out without being mistaken for a soldier and killed. So, unless the soldier had enough will and strength to crawl from out of the chaos and into a position where the sentries could possibly spot him and the medics could pick him up, or if he could actually crawl the mile to camp, he was pretty much dead where he fell. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, most fallen soldiers are finished off by their attackers anyway so they didn't have to suffer and bleed their guts out until they died.

It took him quicker than usual to walk past the tents. For the most part, they were empty, except for the last three on his left. Those each contained a soldier that had been saved by the skin of his teeth, all with either a dismembered limb lost to the battlefield in a heap of other limbs or a hole in the torso or stomach regions.

He gritted his teeth as the pains in his arm began to pick up again. It occured randomly, sometimes never at all on a good day, but he seldom seemed to have one of those nowadays. His soul yearned for the battlefield, but again he reminded himself he had a wife to come home to along with a son. With his bad arm, he was sure to get himself killed.

He neared his tent. Zhi was still inside the tent and the Honor Guards were still standing at attention in front of the entrance to his tent. They gave the Chinese military salute as he came closer, clasping left hand over the right hand, both palms facing inwards towards the body, before dropping to one knee for a kneeling kowtow.

The ache in his arm increased. He then became aware of a strange feeling. Among his kind, it was considered a type of sixth sense, a survival premonition. You see, Tian Quanbei was no ordinary man nor was he an ordinary general. Though hidden by the mystic Taoist magic, he possessed a strange second being that humans considered as evil and insidious, as was, and still is, most radically displayed by the Japanese. In reality, he was a demon, so to speak, a dog demon to be exact.

The demons of China were much more different than the demons of Japan, at least as far as the demons themselves knew as the truth anyways; the humans of both nations believed the same truth. The humans believe that the demons were spawns of Hell that had escaped the Netherworld to torment mankind and must be sent back. Demons, on the other hand, well, the more knowledgeable and wisest of them anyways, knew the truth that all demons of the Earth were descendants of a great god who had fallen from Heaven's grace, had many children with Nature's own, and thus the demon was born, in a sense.

That was where the Chinese and Japanese demons had drawn the line in belief. The Japanese demons slowly began to grow more hostile towards the humans, which was understandable as they were as hostile as ever towards them. Soon, they had begun to believe the human's story as the more believeable one, that they were Hellspawn meant to torture the humans, which they did with absolute glee. Thus the start of the millenia-old Human-Demon War.

On the other hand, the Chinese demons, before they would grow as hostile as their Japanese cousins, preferred on hiding their demon heritage, slowly submerging themselves into human society. Demons began to drop off the radar completely, only a few sightings a decade, usually because of some young punk who wanted to show off, but sometimes there were instances that were necessary, should the humans attempt to completely wipe all the demons out for good, where a demon would attack a family, raid a farm, destroy a harvest, anything to provoke the humans into doing something entirely stupid, such as dressing in red or lighting firecrackers, in the hopes of scaring it off and then feeding their belief. Thus, Chinese New Year's demon-warding traditions had formed and demons could roam about without fear of the red clothes or the firecrackers and enjoy them while they remained concealed by the Taoist amulets that allowed them to.

But personally, he preferred his human appearance as did most Chinese demons. They rarely showed their true form, almost always only in combat and that happens very scarcely since most demon families, if they hadn't been able to rid themselves of their demon heritage completely, almost never had a member have to show up on a battlefield as a simple foot soldier because thousands of years of hard work and planning had elevated a good majority of demons into the highest ranks in civil officer. For the past two rules, the Northern Chang had had a demon as emperor and before that, demons were emperors in Ming, the Han, in at least half of every dynasty everfounded, excluding the Manchurian Qing Dynasty.

He was taken out of his self-given history and mythology lecture when his arm convulsed again, causing him to screw his eyes shut in pain for a split second before it passed just as quickly as it came. "General!" the two guards cried before they approached him. "Are you alright, sir?" one of them asked. By this time, Zhi had come outside as well.

He was about to say that he was fine until he saw, in the distance, to figures approaching him. At first, he was about to tell them to sieze the intruders until his human eyes zoomed in as much as they could on the two approaching figures and saw that one of them was wearing a sportscoat, black slacks, and had brown hair hidden behind some shades while the other wore a long, light green church dress with a black sportscoat over that as well, that one being a woman and had blonde hair. Not only were the clothing weird, so were the shapes of the eyes of the two people approaching as well as their hair color. They were definitely not Chinese or even remotely Asian. And if memory served Tian correctly, they were Americans, a country never founded in his realm of existence.

The two Americans continued their approach and Tian said hastily, "I'm fine. Go inside the tent until I say so." Before Zhi or one of the guards could protest, he barked sharply, "Go! That's an order!" The three hurried into the tent, very confused.

He approached the two Americans as they continued onwards. 'Why now? After so long? What do they want? 5 years... Jesus Christ, that's a long time. Did something happen? Wait, shouldn't they have talked to Shaojia about it? Dammit, what the Hell's happening?'

When he had gotten into hearing range of the Americans, he asked in English, "What the Hell's going on, Neutron?"

* * *

Jimmy and Cindy more or less stopped in their tracks when the Chinese general had addressed them in English, even more so when he had called Jimmy by his last name. "Shaojia? Is that you?" he replied in English as well.

The man shook his head. "Close, but no cigar. I had a feeling you wouldn't recognize me." The general stroked his short, black mustached and slight beard thoughtfully. "It's been a long time, General." He then came closer to Jimmy and put out his hand.

Jimmy furrowed his eyebrows to attempt and remember who this man was. If he wasn't Shaojia, then who? Still, he stuck out his hand in return to be polite and firmly grasped the other man's hand. "I suppose it has. I guess that's a reason that you can excuse me if I don't remember who you are."

The man laughed bitterly. "General Tian Quanbei, W-12 Enforcer Legion, retired. 5 years ago, I served with you in N-12 on the alien planet Yolkus whereupon me and my CO, Grand General Wang Shaojia, along with every child soldier in the W-12 army kicked your enemies' ass, freed your parents, and saved the universe, as was the Enforcer quota."

A switch flipped in Jimmy's mind and he suddenly remembered who he was talking to, if the name wasn't enough of a reminder. "Quanbei! It's good to see you!"

Tian Quanbei then grew slightly distant. "With all due respect, General, I wish I could say the same thing. Just what the Hell are you two doing here anyways? Shaojia and I are both retired, for now anyways, and at the rate this war's going, for another few years. If S-1 got itself into another war with the Legion, I'm happy to say for both me and Shaojia that we're a bit indisposed, but we'd be happy to recommend several of the other hundreds of Enforcer Legions out there."

Jimmy shook his head and took off his shades. Cindy glanced sideways as he did this and saw the slightly visible pink scar left as a burn mark from the Human-Yolkian War, a permanent reminder of the war. She saw Quanbei staring at it too, before Jimmy spoke. "Someone attempted to assassinate me. I want to try and find out who."

Quanbei began to stroke his goatee again. "Alright, I'd like to help you on that one, as one Enforcer doing another a solid, but things are too tight right now. In case you didn't know," he pointed to a direction to the north, "Beijing is roughly a few hundred miles that way." He then pointed to the battle to the south. "And there is a giant battle going on that way. My hands are a little tied at the moment and so are Shaojia's. What about the Council?"

"What do you think?" Jimmy replied wryly.

Quanbei nodded in understanding. "Right, so they're still incompetent cry-babies. Okay, well, can't you figure it out yourself, though? I mean, I'd love to help, but this isn't exactly high priority-"

"I think whoever wanted to kill me was also responsible for a nuclear bomb that was dropped near Santa Monica Bay on the West Coast of the US, killing possibly thousands of Americans, maybe even tens or hundreds of thousands, and a nuke that blew up a military base in China. There've been some talks, and but China and the US believe that it's terrorists, possibly of the Asian variety, maybe even the European variety, but definitely not of the Middle Eastern variety. The nukes were launched without warning and a UN inspector was found dead in his hotel. In any case, I have a very good feeling that my assassin, the inspector's assassin, the nukes, and the third party involved are all connected by one single person who might have even breached Enforcer Security Code Alpha-Alpha-Zero-One."

Quanbei paused for a second. "Well, that changes everything then..." He sighed. "Not much I can do right now, though. Unless you brought a minigun with you, I don't think we'll be getting out very soon. But I've already sent for reinforcements and they should be here before nightfall, hopefully. But my advisor says that more than likely, tomorrow night, probably later. Our guy just left three days ago by horse. The trip's usually about a day, maybe day and a half by horse, at least two by foot, plus the variable of getting lost."

Jimmy looked over at Cindy for an idea who shrugged in return. "Well, what about Shaojia? Where's he?"

"I've been asking that myself the same question," Quanbei replied. Last I heard, he was campaigning down in Southern Chang in Chengdu. That was over three months ago and when I heard about it, he had taken over Chengdu meaning he had taken all of Sichuan province along with it. More than likely, he'd moved south for Yunnan, southeast for Guizhou, or east for Chongqing and then Hubei where he'd swing up and finish up his tour by meeting up with me in Zhengzhou. If the third one... I don't even want to know what happened because I was just ambushed by the Southern Chang while I was in a fight with the Ming."

Jimmy sighed. "Then how are we going to get help from him?"

Cindy then snapped her fingers. "What about the EIS? We get over to his place, we can use it to find him and go there."

"To use that, you'll have to actually get to the Forbidden Ciy intact and there are two problems with that," Quanbei said. "Wait, make that three. First problem is that reinforcements that have never ever heard of the Enforcers or an American for that matter are coming this way. Along the Huanglong pass is a well-traveled road that leads you straight to the Forbidden City. They'll spot you and kill you for looking funny and for possibly being spies or assassins. Second, no one but the most senior or high ranking generals, advisors, and of course the Emperor himself is allowed in there. I can probably get you cleared, but as you can see, I'm a bit tied up right now. And third, even if you are able to make it pass the army and the security, there's the little matter of transportation. I only got one horse, mine, and though I'd love to lend it to you, I have an army to run and I can't give proper withdrawl orders when my men can't even see where I am."

Jimmy sighed again, this time in frustration. "Well, what do you suggest?"

Quanbei shrugged. "You can stick around here. I'll brief my aide and my guards. They'll understand what's going on after I do and I'll give you two a small tent near mine. When reinforcements come, if they come before we're overrun anyways, I'll have them give up a horse to you and then I'll ride ahead of my army with you guys after I tell _them_ the old new things, too. Then, I'll pass it over to my XO, General Zhao, and have him lead the army back home while we're racing back there."

"Sounds good," Cindy said. She looked at Jimmy for his thoughts.

He nodded. "Alright, we'll just hang around here, then. Not much that we can do now, anyways."

* * *

The wait was continuing to take a considerable toll on Jimmy's patience and Cindy's nerves. They were given a modest tent beside General Tian's own tent after he had brief his aide and his guards. That had taken about 30 minutes and involved General Tian showing his Enforcer badge, an M9 service pistol he had kept after his resignation, a copy of his resignation papers, a color photograph of him and his wife in New York City, Jimmy's Enforcer badge, and the pills Jimmy had created that allowed him and Cindy to carry on the entire conversation in Mandarin Chinese.

The 5 hours that followed were perhaps the most boring 5 hours that Jimmy had ever had the displeasure of experiencing. Cindy was able to cope with it better than him, though, as she had her Tai Chi forms and meditation to make the time fly by. Meanwhile, Jimmy had laid down and stared at her all the while trying to run down who had tried to assassinate him over and over in his head. And like the real search, the results had turned up inconclusive.

Cindy lifted her right leg and put it down slowly in front of her as she shifted her body weight onto it, pressing forward with her palms before rolling back to the left. She bent down extremely low as she brought her inner peace downwards to her feet before lifting it up and pushing it out to her left.

She was about to continue her form until a loud sound came from her right. She crossed her arms and glared at Jimmy, who had fallen asleep on one of the bunks that had provided for them. She looked around and found a small pebble nearby. She flicked it at Jimmy, who sputtered about before falling off the bunk and onto the ground.

He looked around in confusion. "Wha?"

"Have a nice nap?" Cindy said mockingly.

Jimmy shrugged. "You can't blame me if I fall asleep waiting for reinforcements to come in. This is boring!"

"So says the man who could wait for hours with a sniper rifle so he can get the perfect shot on his target," she muttered.

"Hey," he protested, "that requires a lot of concentration. Most of my mental faculties were at work to calculate the trajectory, calm my breathing, and steady my aim so that I can nail the guy before he sets off the bomb that blows up the universe. In contrast to right now where I am just sitting around staring at the tent."

Cindy sighed before nodding in agreement. She sat down next to him on the bunk. "Yeah, you're right." She laid her head on his shoulder for a little while. "You know, I remember, back in the war, that we never had a day of boredom like this. It was always so hectic. Bombs flying everywhere, we were always moving out, it was sheer pandemonium."

Jimmy smiled slightly. "Yeah, but we'd always find time for those little moments." He put his arm around Cindy and brought her closer to him before he began to lie down, bringing her with him. "We'd have our sweet, little alone times. We managed to have a date in the middle of a war. But that was then and this is now. There were things back then that we couldn't do but as adults..."

Cindy's mind began to go fuzzy on her as she found herself aligning on Jimmy. She felt the blood rush to her face. "J-Jimmy?"

He dipped his head up and brushed his lips against hers. She was about to respond with ruthless tenacity until they both heard a throat being cleared. "Ahem!" The two both jolted in surprise and turned to look at the intruder. Tian Quanbei looked at them both with an annoyed and irritated expression on his face. "Well, nice of you two to always find time for romance in the middle of a warzone."

Jimmy cleared his own throat. "Uh, did you need something?"

Tian nodded. "Change of plans. I forgot about the messenger who finally got here and I commandeered his horse. If you want, you guys can leave now."

Jimmy and Cindy looked at each other excitedly. "That'd be great!" Cindy replied cheerfully before realizing. "Wait, how are we supposed to know which way to go? And how would we avoid the guards or the army?"

Quanbei paused before answering. "Just follow the forests alongside of here. It leads all the way to the outer gates of Beijing. Just stick to the inside of the forest and you should be fine; an army would never go through there unless they're trying to escape someone or they're chasing someone."

"And the guards at Beijing?" Jimmy asked.

"Just go slow, maybe take a leisure ride and take in Ancient China's natural beauty," Quanbei suggested somewhat sarcastically. "I'll catch up with you. If you make it to Beijing before I meet up with you, just stay put in the forest and out of sight. I"ll meet up with you then."

Jimmy looked at Cindy again before nodding. "Alright, sounds good. When do we leave?"

"As soon as you want to," Quanbei said before turning around to leave. He stopped and turned back around. "One more thing, Zhi!" His aide entered the tent with a large box carried in front of him. Zhi put it down before being dismissed. Quanbei opened it. "There are bandits around everywhere. Take these just in case." He handed Jimmy and Cindy both a dagger, about 7 inches long, with a dragon's head for a hilt. "Those are from my personal collection, so take care of them." He then gave Jimmy a Chinese straightsword, called a jian. "In this universe, it makes more sense for the man to be armed than the woman, so you should carry this as an extra countermeasure." He then passed them two sets of Chinese clothes. "We switched back to the clothing of the Han again, so we're not using that stupid, button-up Manchu robe thing anymore. If the army, or anyone else, sees you two wearing these things, they'll think you're just a couple wandering through the forest from far away."

Jimmy and Cindy accepted all the trinkets with gratefulness and a slight, almost invisible blush. The clothing came in a small sack, neatly folded in. After tucking the daggers away somewhere they could reach them for now, they said their thanks and goodbyes to Quanbei. They went outside where Zhi led them away from the camp to the mouth of the valley where a red horse with a black mane waited for them.

Jimmy put the bag into a small pocket in the saddle and climbed on. With one hand holding the jian, he held one hand out for Cindy who then used him to hoist herself up and onto the horse. Jimmy snapped the reins to the horse and they were off on their way to the Forbidden City.

Quanbei stared after them as they grew smaller and smaller. When he went to turn around, he paused when he saw, or he thought he saw, a dark figure disappear into the trees. He dismissed it as one of the hundreds of different kinds of animals that inhabited the forests near here and went back to his tent. The messenger said that the army wasn't that far behind him. Maybe they'd get there by dusk afterall. Hopefully, Jimmy and Cindy were smart enough to lay low when they saw them.

* * *

The assassin swore as he watched his targets leave the military camp on horseback, Jimmy now armed with a Chinese straightsword. He was tempted to kill the other man, the general, but thought better of it as he began to blend into the forest behind him and leap through the trees after his targets. That would just waste time he didn't have.

He now had a rather decent idea of what was happening now, though. Jimmy, possibly Cindy, and the general were all some type of elite supersoldiers known as 'Enforcers' whom dealed with immense international affairs. The three of them plus another named Wang Shaojia, who was a Grand General, whatever that meant, had all had war-time experience fighting some unknown race or country that Yolkians were from.

What he didn't know was what the Enforcer Legions were, what W-12, N-12, and S-1 stood for, why he was in Ancient China, how the Chinaman from Ancient China spoke perfect English, how he had even gotten here, and why Jimmy thought it was possible for him to see the Emperor of China. The longer he had been in this strange parallel universe, the more confused he had become.

He then cleared his mind of all thoughts as he skipped through the branches of the trees and continued to keep up as much as he could with his targets on horseback. He would have time think about them some more later when they finally stopped for the night or something.

Just one thing was for sure, though: as soon as the assassin had gotten out of this strange alternate dimension, killed Jimmy and Cindy, and reported to his master, he was going to retire as soon as possible. All of this trouble was more than he bargained for in this lifetime.

He slowed down as he began to catch up with his targets who were galloping along at a calm speed.

* * *

**The Afterthought:**

**Author: Another chapter out!**

**Jimmy: And that creepy assassin guy-**

**Cindy: -Stalker ninja**

**Jimmy: ... Right, the creepy assassin guy-**

**Emily: -Stalker ninja**

**Jimmy: Ahem, whatever. The creepy assassin guy... (Looks around)**

**Author: Go on, go on...**

**Jimmy: Ahem, right, so that creepy assassin guy-**

**Wendy: For the love of God, he's s freakin' stalker ninja! (Throws Jimmy over a rail)**

**Shaojia: So, that's the main running joke for this series this time around? Rail throwing over?**

**Wendy: No, there's also shotputting objects. (Shotputs a brick at Shaojia's head which knocks him over the rail)**

**Author: Well, Cindy, Emily, Jackass-**

**Jackass: James.**

**Author: Whatever. So anyways, Cindy, Emily, Jackass-**

**James: (Throws Author over the rail) I believe what he was trying to say was, what was your opinion of the chapter?**

**Author: I wasn't going to ask that!**

**James: Oh, were you going to ask us how the Hell you got up here so fast?**

**Author: That? Well, I just took the elevator. Also, in case you forgot from last time, the bridge had collapsed. We're pretty much at ground level.**

**James: Oh... (Stares around bridge and sees they are indeed at ground level)**

**Author: Anyways, what I was gonna ask is if someone knew where I put my pet grenade.**

**Wendy: I found it! (Throws it at Author)**

**Author: ... This is not good...**

**Shaojia: NAW! Ya think?**

**Wendy: Shaddup! (Smacks Shaojia) You're not even in this one yet! (Throws Shaojia over the rail... into a pit of lava)**

**Stalker Ninja: REVIEWS BI-ATCH!**

**Jimmy: We are so getting flames for this...**

**(Grenade explodes and the Afterthought crew is sent flying in a random direction. A 747 hits them)**


	4. Parallels

**Chapter 4:**

**Parallels**

* * *

_"As fate loves to screw with people's minds, sometimes your worst enemy can become your best friend... For the time being." Thom Akimoto_

* * *

While their horse took its time nibbling at the nearby grass, Jimmy and Cindy tried to figure out if they were wearing the traditional Han Chinese clothing right. About three hours after leaving the valley General Tian and his army had been, they had decided to take a little break. By Jimmy's watch, it was roughly 4:30 in the afternoon.

While they dressing behind seperate trees, away from each other, Cindy had asked Jimmy why it was still day in this alternate China when his watch read US Central time and they had left N-12 around the early morning. As she had never been to any other universe nor had she ever been on any official Enforcer business farther than Central, she had no way of knowing why the times were the same.

Starting from the beginning of time, when God created the universes, each universe was made at the exact same time. However, as is true with children, the universes had developed at different rates. Some developed faster and some developed slower. When it came time that all universes were stable enough to sustain all life that He intended to put in like so many ants into ant farms, some Earths were already thousands of years than their counterparts, some even hundreds of thousands.

The reference of sentient life forms to ants in ant farms was actually the most accurate description humans could get to describing how life existed in each universe. When putting ants into their farms, some ants were able to adapt very well to their surroundings and so, in modern times, their civilizations had become the most advanced, as was the case with S-1 where the Earth was the capital of a complex alliance between humans and multiple alien races thanks to space travel.

Then, there were the vast majority of universes that had developed at roughly the exact same rate and thus had the exact same civilizations, as far as technologies were concerned anyways. History, however, has a strange way of being randomly different. Figures such as George Washington were almost always present, but every once in a while, there is a universe where a new person is born or a historical figure in one or several universes doesn't exist in another and vice versa. This leads to shifts in history that can lead to World War III occuring in 1971, a vast army of robots taking over the Earth in 2000, the Soviet Union winning the Cold War, and the South defeating the North at Gettysburg. Nevertheless, these 'normal' universes look uniformly similar for the most part, of which N-12 is a part of.

However, there are occasions where certain civilizations never take place at all, ever. Such as the case with already historical figures not being born or new ones being born, certain events occur that can even cause the self-genocide of an entire civilization. In the case of W-12 where the Black Plague, or something similar, is said to have wiped out everything remotely European and Middle Eastern. All that there was in existence nowadays is China, Japan, Korea (having split off from China after the brief Mongol rule of China in W-12's shorter Yuan Dynasty instead of as a result of the First Sino-Japanese War), the Khmer Empire, the Thai Empire, and Vietnamese Empire which included some parts of what is considered in N-12 and others as Indonesia.

Because of the nonexistence of the Europeans and thus the Americans as well, the Silk Road never developed, no one ever thought to turn black powder into gunpowder, no one ever bought Hong Kong, Communism never took place, and no one ever invented the car, the telephone, the television, the airplane, or any other modern conveniences. In all aspects of the term, they virtually were in Ancient China.

After explaining that, they waited for their horse eat their fill. In the meantime, they laid on the grass staring through the canopy in their new Han Chinese clothes. Sunlight filtered through the trees and Jimmy's mind sunk into thought and contemplation. Particularily about the strange new clothes they had to wear to try and look inconspicuous.

Jimmy was no expert on Chinese clothing, but he had read a Wikipedia article about it. Traditional Han Chinese clothing, called Hanfu, had been worn throughout Chinese history all the way up to the Qing where it had been replaced with the common button-up Manchu shirt that is so commonly seen by most Westerners as the Chinese national costume.

Hanfu was the original style of clothing of all of Asia, as can be seen in the styles of the Japanese Kimono, Korean Hanbok, and Vietnamese Áo tứ thân. The Hanfu, or at least Jimmy's Hanfu set, had two layers, an inner layer called the zhongyi, which was more or less like a Western T-shirt and pants, and over that was the shenyi which wrapped itself around Jimmy's body and was fastened tight by a black sash. His Hanfu was primarily red but with gold sleeve cuffs and trimmings.

As far Cindy, she wore a pale green ruqun which looked similar to the style of kimono worn by Japanese priestesses. Only the top layer was different as far as layers were concerned. The top layer was divided into two parts, an upper garment and a lower skirt that hung down to her ankles from her waist. A small jade pendant hung from the sash that fastened the two garments together.

Jimmy put his hand behind his head. He had to admit, the Hanfu was a lot more comfy than Western clothing. It was like wearing a giant cloud, soft yet not at all constricting. Except for the sash at his waist that is, but that was pretty much his fault for tying it so tight anyways.

He sighed and looked over at Cindy who was finalizing the steps to put her hair in a traditional Chinese bun hairstyle. She turned to him and asked, "What do you think?"

Jimmy simply stared at her. The women's Hanfu clung off of her well-shapen body and was tied very tight as well. The bun accentuated her face's own natural beauty. He blinked a few times before nodding slowly. He swallowed a lump in his throat and whispered, "Beautiful..."

She blushed. "Thanks..." She looked him up and down and evaluated him just as he did. The Hanfu was still a bit loose on him, but it made him seem very regal, even if it was just a plain colored Hanfu with only a few special designs. The jian sat on the ground next to him, glimmering in the sunlight as the sun reflected off of the gold adorning the scabbard. "You don't look too bad yourself," she added finally.

"Oh really now," Jimmy replied slyly. He stood up and walked towards her. "Not too bad, eh?" He kneeled down beside her and loomed over her. She could feel his breath on her neck, hot and passionate as he came closer. "Anything else you wanted to add?"

"Just one thing," she whispered as she brought herself up and closer to his face.

"What's that?" he asked back, bring his own face closer to hers.

She draped her arms around his neck. Their lips inched closer and closer until... "You're it."

Jimmy blinked several times before he fell down. Looking up, he saw just in time that Cindy was laughing and running from him as fast as she could in the comfy yet awkward Hanfu. He grinned deviously and picked himself up. He ran after her.

She laughed as she dodged through the trees, Jimmy laughing slightly as well as he chased her. He was slowly gaining on her but he knew that she was letting him win; there was no way that he could be faster than her. Then, she disappeared around a tree. When Jimmy ran past it, he looked around but couldn't find her anywhere.

He scratched his head and made a step backward whereupon he felt a sense of great vertigo and landed hard on his back into the grass. He heard a melodious giggle coming from his right and saw Cindy step out from behind a tree. "That was a dirty trick," he teased as he got back up.

The chase began again. Soon, they reached the clearing in the forest they had started from. Their horse followed them as they ran around like children before dipping his head back into the delicious grasses.

Cindy slowed down slightly just enough where Jimmy could reach her. He lurched at her with as little force as possible and tackled into her gently. They rolled about in the grass slightly until Jimmy ended up underneath her. Cindy bun was now disshelved and beautiful locks of liquid gold drooped down from her head. She was panting heavily as she stayed mounted on top of him.

He smiled and brought his head up to meet hers. His arms wrapping themselves around her, he brought her closer and closer until their lips finally touched. Cindy felt a jolt of electricity go up and down her spine as she intensified the kiss. She closed her eyes and let her mind slip into bliss.

That is, until the sound thousands of footsteps crashing into the ground simultaneously. From the spacing between each crushing footstep, it sounded as if the marchers were trying to double-time it to someplace important. Say a valley that led straight to their nation's capital, for instance. Along with that there was the sound of a thunderous strike of hooves on the ground that grew closer and closer by the second.

Jimmy was tempted to say, 'Ignore them,' to Cindy until he remembered that they were still decently exposed in the clearing in the forest and that Tian had told them that it'd be best to stay out of sight. Still, he had never seen a true, adult Chinese army marching before. And maybe there someone they knew leading the army. Who knows, maybe Shaojia was back already though that he knew was wishful thinking. Nevertheless, he got up and grabbed Cindy's hand. "Come on."

She nodded and followed him over to the edge of the forest, the edge nearest to the well-traveled dirt road. He and Cindy hid behind dense trees and looked outwards into the road. That was when they both saw, as opposed to just simply hearing, the hundreds of calvalrymen on horseback charge down the road, war flags bearing the characters for Shaojia's last name, Wang, as well as the characters for Northern Chang.

A little ways behind the calvalrmen, obviously sent ahead as a scout/charged advance, there was a man on horseback going at a steady trot with what seemed to be a thousand-or-two-man army following closely behind him at a quick march, war flags flown by the soldiers in the front of the columns. The man was wearing heavy Chinese plate armor, a red cape attatched to his shoulder epaulettes and billowing behind him. However, this man, Jimmy knew, was not Shaojia. He looked far older, about in his 40s. Even if he had factored in any changes brought upon Shaojia by stress hormones due to war, he would have looked nothing like the general leading the reinforcemnts.

They stared at the army as it passed by. What felt like hours was really just 10 minutes of watching soldiers fly past them, spears held high and swords held at the ready, flags flapping the rushing wind, the company drummers beating the order for advance as they rushed past them. It seems as if that Tian might get his reinforcements in time afterall.

After the last row of soldiers had disappeared down the road, Jimmy and Cindy looked at each other. They nodded before going over to the horse. Jimmy threw himself over onto the saddle and Cindy settled on the horse behind him. Waiting until her arms were fastly secured around his waist, he then snapped then kicked the horse slightly in the side. Once Tian caught up with them, they could go at a faster pace. Until then, they might as well just enjoy the sights, as he suggested.

Watching as a flock of birds flew from canopy to canopy, Jimmy blinked his eyes when he thought he saw a dark figure leap from tree to tree. He mentally shrugged. With the pure nature around them, it was more than likely just a monkey or maybe a squirrel or something. For all he knew, the sunlight filtering down from the forest canopy could just be playing tricks on his stressed mind. But when he felt Cindy slump against his back and heard her soft snoring, his mind was put at ease and concentrated on the path ahead of him as they traveled to where he thought was Beijing.

* * *

The assassin leaped through the trees, staying as high up in the canopy as he possibly could. His targets had begun to move again after the Chinese army had charged past them, no doubt to join up in that battle back in the valley. The assassin looked behind him to see where his targets were.

They were right where he had left them, trotting along at a slow pace at least 70 yards behind him. That should give him enough time to call his master and report to him. If cell phones even worked in this weird, alternate universe they were in. He took out his phone and pressed an autodial button.

He growled in frustration when no sound came through the speakers. Just as he had thought, his cell phone wasn't working. That means that he now had absolutely no way of asking his master for further orders. His only hope of getting back now were the two love birds currently sightseeing in Ancient China after an army just marched by in a hurry to get into a battle.

The entire situation was just surreal. He was now more determined than ever to try and find a way out of this parallel universe so that he can resign and live as a hermit and put all of this behind him. If he survives this, that is. All he had was a cell phone, a useless detonator, and an ancestral tanto, a ceremonial Japanese sword that was so short, it barely qualified as a sword. He did'nt even know how to use it. For the most part, if he had to get into a fight with any armed combatants, he was more or less screwed.

Putting his cell phone away, he disappeared into the shadows of the trees an watched as his prey trotted past him from below. Once they had passed, he left his hiding spot and bolted for the next tree, becoming a blur amongst the shadows of the tree canopies.

He wondered what was happening back home...

* * *

"-nuclear strike were caused not by the Chinese government but by an outside force that was also responsible for the launch of one of our own nuclear missiles which led to the destruction of a military base in China," President of the United States said to the masses. A man in a yellow gi watched the television broadcast live from overseas back in the US from the dojo in his residence in North Korea, where it was now starting to become morning.

The man scoffed. "Boss isn't going to like this," he muttered to himself in Korean. Just as he thought this, he subconsciously changed the channel from CNN to the local news station of Pyongyang, North Korea.

"In international news," the anchorwoman said, "the United States and China were both simultaneously attacked by nuclear weapons strikes launched from the respective countries. Though no internal investigation has turned up anything as of yet, it is speculated by the Chinese Premeir and the American President that an unknown terrorist organization was responsible for the attacks. Of this matter, Glorious Leader has delivered the following announcement: 'Though our differences great and long-lasting and our rivalries old yet thriving, the people of North Korea express their deepest condolences to the American and Chinese people. We have currently sent requests to both nations to allow North Korean Peace Corps soldiers, accompanied with military escorts. We are pleased to announce that both nations have accepted this aid.' All hail our Glorious Leader and His wisdom!"

The man scoffed once more. "The fool doesn't know what he's doing. Oh well, it's just making my job a lot easier."

The anchorwoman continued. "In other news, the North Korean Space Agency has now joined the other superpowers of the world by launching its own shuttle to join the Japanese, Chinese, Russian, and American joint effort to create an international space station platform. The Glorious Peoples of North Korea have contributed greatly to the efforts of the American scientist Jimmy Neutron with their-"

The man growled and tossed the remote at the TV like a throwing knife, putting a clean hole through it and out the other end. "Neutron..." He hissed the name with venom. "Were it not for him, I would have myself a beautiful queen for which to bear my child. It doesn't matter, though. I already have a queen, one more beautiful. But my honor must be avenged! I will have my vengeance and reclaim my honor, Jimmy Neutron, I will-" His phone rang. "Goddammit!" He groaned angrily and answered in English, "What?!"

"Temper, temper, Mr. Yoo. But I suppose I must apply. I realize just now that I have yet again interrupted one of those psychotic mantras that you always say to yourself."

Mr. Yoo sighed outwardly but swore mentally and profusely. Through gritted teeth, he replied, "Is there something you wanted, sir? You don't usually call so late."

"As a matter of fact," the man on the other line said, "yes I do. I trust you're watching the news or have just watched it before destoying yet another one in a fit of rage?"

"Yes."

"Good, then I think you know what needs to be done next. After you 'deal with' your two Korean agents, come to my estate in Shangri-La Valley. Something's come up regarding your Japanese agent."

"The one sent to kill You-Know-Who?"

"Yes, the very same. However, at the moment, he can't."

"Can't? He's the best assassin I have, what do you mean he can't?"

"That I can't say over the phone, which is why I am ordering you to come here to China. I'll inform you of all that is to come. When will my shuttle be ready anyways?"

"By next Monday, sir."

"And the men?"

"Now, but a little extra training in Zero-G combat never hurts. However, I suggest that you hold off until next month. The news said that the North Koreans just got a shuttle up there. I'll go through the motions. Maybe I can get out army friend to suggest that with these nukes flying everywhere, the ISS might be better served as a Nuclear Defense Platform."

"It seems that you do listen during our meetings, afterall. Alright, do you understand your orders?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good, I'll expect you to be here tonight. Keep your people monitoring the States and the Chinese government. If they show any hostile actions towards any of our objectives, or any actions at all..."

"I'll have them dealt with, sir."

The phone disconnected. Mr. Yoo grimaced before sending the cellular to join the remote inside the depths of the TV. "I swear," he said, now in Korean again, "that after all is done, I am going to murder him and take the glory and the power for myself. Then, my honor will be doubly restored! Haha-ha! Hahahahaha! Bwahahahahaha!"

"Honey, stop laughing maniaclly! It's time for breakfast!" a feminine voice called out to him from his house.

He sighed and stalked towards the main estate adjacent to the dojo. "Yes dear..." he called back half-heartedly.

* * *

Cindy stared at the fire that burned in front of her. After the sun had begun to set, Jimmy suggested that they stopped before it got too dark to navigate through the dense forest. It turned out that it was a smart thing to do because the fire was the only thing that kept her from being engulfed by the darkness of the woods.

By the time they had finally stopped, though, they had reached a large river with a bridge that crossed over it. On the other side was a continuation of the forest. They had decided to camp just a few feet away from the river in case they got hungry and couldn't find anything to hunt to eat.

A twig snapped behind her. She jumped slightly until she saw Jimmy pass into her peripheral vision carrying a bundle of sticks in his arms. He laid the majority of them down by the firepit he created using some stones and threw the rest in to feed the flames. He sat down next to her.

They sat there in comfortable silence for a few minutes before a cool breeze swept in through the trees. Cindy shivered involuntarily and inched closer towards Jimmy. She felt a warm hand placed around her shoulders and felt herself being pulled even closer to him.

She laid her head on his shoulders and let her body relax completely. Despite the circumstances and the pressures surrounding their presence here, Cindy had never felt more at peace. Above them, the stars shined brightly and a crescent moon provided the slightest, heavenly illumination. The sound of the churning river to the north of them put her nerves even more at ease. With the soft chirping of crickets in her ears coupled with their own rythmic breathing, she was beginning to think now would be a great time to turn in early.

Just as her eye lids were about to drift shut, she heard Jimmy's voice, so different from when they were kids, and the vibrations in his chest as he spoke. "You know what this reminds me of?"

"What?" she replied.

"Back in the war," he replied, his eyes fogging like Cindy had noticed they always did when he reminisced. "When in the middle of all that death and destruction, we could always find moments like this..."

"Yeah..." she turned to him but forgot how close they were to each other. As her head turned, her velvety lips brushed past his. She pulled back slightly and stared deep into his deep, brown eyes. Subconsciously, her mind recorded the fact that her heart was beating faster and faster with eac passing second.

Barely an inch from each other, they immediately closed the distance. Once again, their lips touched in a hot flurry of feelings. As they increased their intensity, it evolved into an inferno of passion. Cindy felt the electricity go up and down her spine as they kissed, the crackling firelight fading into the background along with the rest of their enviroment.

She gasped internally when she felt something else pressing at her lips. She opened a little wider and felt his tongue enter her mouth, seeking its counterpart. She joined him and they battled for dominance. She was so lost in their intense kiss that she hadn't noticed that they were now parallel to each other.

She pressed her hands to his torso and felt his slim yet well toned, muscular chest. She felt his hands grasp the back of her neck and the small of her neck. She pressed herself tightly against him, if that were possible, and felt her mind slip to carnal urges as Jimmy's hands left her back and carressed her sides.

Then, he pulled away suddenly. An expression of hurt streaked evidently across her face until she saw him reaching into his robe and pulling out his M9. She followed his eyes as his other hand went to steady the pistol and he stood up. He was looking somewhere towards the woods. She rolled out from under him.

"Alright, come out!" Jimmy yelled in Mandarin. They were both crestfallen and relieved when a raccoon burst out of the woodwork. "For Christ's sake," he muttered as he slipped his pistol back into his robes. He sat down before lying down with his hands folded behind his head.

Cindy joined him. Again, they laid in silence, listening to the chirp of the crickets and the rustle of the breeze flowing in through the leaves of the surrounding forest. "Jimmy?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think's going on?"

Jimmy turned his head to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"Back home, of course" She looked back at him. "It's kinda like the war all those years ago. Another race against time, but we don't know how long we have left. But somehow, this feels different. It feels like we have all the time we need."

Jimmy furrowed his eyebrows. "I worked with Shaojia once after the war, remember that? About a year after? Anyways, after that mission, he told me to always trust my instincts. And my instincts right now are telling me the same thing you're saying. You're right, this does seem different."

Cindy curled her mouth into a wry smile. "Maybe it's because during the war, we had him walking us all the way through and the lives of billions didn't rest on the balance."

He chuckled dryly and she could feel the strong vibrations of his chest. "That or maybe it's because this is the first time we've ever been on assignment together in the middle of an ancient society thousands of years behind." A loud rumbling was heard and he stammered slightly. "Or maybe we're just hungry."

She smiled. "Come on, we can probably fish something out of the river."

* * *

The assassin struggled to stay focused as he watched the two walk over to the river with Jimmy leading the way with a miniature flashlight. He had been sitting in place for hours. Not monitoring his targets' movements and habits, not looking for alternate escape routes, or better ways to achieve his objective, but just waiting because the only way to get out of this insane universe were the two love birds below.

He jumped to the next tree, but nearly lost his balance when he got onto the limb. He fell, but he grabbed the tree branch at the last second to prevent himself from falling about 20 feet to the ground. Though not necessarily fatal to him, it would still have been very embarassing and a great dishonor to an assassin such as himself.

However, he had a subtle feeling that he has already been dishonored. He had pretty much converted all of his energies to babysitting the couple below and following them around from place to place. It has obviously taken a toll on him as he had allowed his legs to fall asleep from sitting too long. And worse, the boredom was killing him.

He massaged his legs as he sat on a tree limb directly above where Jimmy and Cindy were sitting near the river. Jimmy walked over to the river, rolled up his pants' legs, and walked in. He shivered slightly. "This could be a problem. Cindy, mind looking around for a tree branch or something? I think I put some fish wire back in the horse's saddle."

'The saddle!' the assassin thought with a start. 'That's it! Maybe he put those magic talky pills in there too! The more recon I get, the more I'll get payed, and the better my retirement'll be after I get outta this business.' He followed Jimmy back into the woods for a few seconds until they both reached the horse.

Jimmy fished around the saddle for about a minute before giving out a depressed sigh. "Great," he muttered to himself, "no fish wire." With that, he walked back to the river to Cindy. As soon as he had left the clearing, the assassin jumped down from his tree, landing like a cat, and began to raid the saddle.

'Come on, come on,' he though to himself as he fished around in the saddle. 'Language Pill, Language Pill, come on, where is it?! Let's see, ammo clip, ammo clip, their clothes, ammo clip--hey, there's that fish wire-- cell phone, dammit! No talky pills! Kid must have it in his pocket or something.' Twisting his face into an expression of disgust, he took out the bag that contained his targets' clothings. 'Come on Language Pills...' Before he even got a chance to open the bag, he heard voices. 'Shit!' Putting the bag back and closing the saddle, he leaped back into the trees and the darknes..

"-know. I could've sworn I put that fish wire in there. It's not on me right now either, I must've lost it then." Jimmy entered the clearing, wet, but with several fish pierced onto a stick he carried in his right hand. Cindy was also drenched, but to a greater extent, as if she had fallen in, and through his highly-trained eyes, he could make out in the darkness that she was pale and shivering, although the latter she was trying to control.

Cindy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, more than likely. Wait, why do you carry fishing wire around anyways?"

"You never know when you'll need it," he replied.

"Well, if you lose it, it kinda defeats the purpose, now doesn't it?" Cindy retorted.

Jimmy mumbled slightly under his breath. "Well, at least we got some dinner." Just then, Cindy sneezed.

"Yeah, and a cold," she muttered.

"I told you that I didn't need help." He sighed. "Take off your clothes."

"What?!" Cindy and the assassin looked at him in confusion before Cindy's look quickly turned to anger and embarassment. 'Wow, nice job Captain Rhetoric.' She slapped him. "That is the last time you are going on a Spring Break with Sheen! What's wrong with you!"

Jimmy rubbed his face. "That's not what I meant! You're gonna catch a cold or maybe even hypothermia if you stay in those wet robes for too long." He then replied off-handedly as he slipped off his outer robe, which was relatively dry, and handed it to her. "Remind me never to get on your bad side."

Cindy snorted. "Hmph. I thought someone as smart as you could've guessed that much." She then made a whirling motion to him. "Turn around."

He complied. "I tried to warn you."

"About what?" she snapped as she disrobed. The assassin swallowed sharply. Lest he blow his cover, he too turned around, his face entirely red underneath the black cloak wrapped around his head and face.

"About that part of the soil. It didn't look very solid. Looked pretty worn away." He then turned around slightly, but not far enough where he could see her. "Besides, I could've handled fishing on my own." He smiled coyly, and even though Cindy couldn't see him, she could sense the suggestiveness in his voice. "Like last year's Spring Break. Remember that, Cindy?"

The assassin listened in with little interest. He had long grown tired of hearing their previous lovers' tales. Quite frankly, it just made him sick. He stretched out on the tree limb and yawned. Great, now he was starting to get sleepy. He began to contemplate just how he would kill those two once he got out of here as he drifted off to a restless sleep. Unfortunately, the two below wouldn't shut up.

Meanwhile, Cindy blushed in response to Jimmy's statement. "Yeah, I remember. But if I remember correctly, you fell in." She then cleared her throat. "Uh, you can turn around now."

Jimmy smiled coyly when he saw Cindy, dressed only in his outer-most robe, and gave out a low whistle which provoked a blush from Cindy to add on to the other blush she wore. "Now this really reminds me of last year's Spring Break."

"We gonna eat any time soon?" she said to interrupt the course of the conversation.

He smiled back and turned to the fire. He leaned the stick of fish against a nearby rock, keeping the fish out of the fire but at least leaning close to it. He then went over to sit down on the grass. Cindy joined him. For a moment, it looked like they were going to calm down now and just relax, have a nice dinner, then sleep. The assassin sighed internally. 'Great, now maybe I can get some sleep.' The sounds of passionate kissing below made him want to punch something. 'Terrific.'

* * *

On the other side of China, down in the city of Zhengzhou, capital of Henan Province, a man stood upon a hillside overlooking a vast battlefield, for the moment deserted but filled with the bodies of the dead. There were no dying left. In the camp on the otherside of the battlefield and in the camp behind were the tired soldiers, resting and eating in preparation for the next day's battle. 'Or,' he added as a morbid afterthought, 'tonight's battle, if things go from worse to clusterfuck.'

The man was no fool, though. He knew his opponent and he knew him well. He was a former comrade of his, back in his days as a warrior for God and all gods subordinate to him. As an Enforcer. How he longed for those days, when the lines were so black and so white, they were like day and night or fire and water. But now, the lines have not only turned gray and dim, but have twisted so that each side now bore the markings of good and evil. Just one side was the greater evil and that was his opponent.

"Your Majesty!" The man turned around to face his aide de camp, a young peasant by the name of Fei whose village he and his army had come across on his campaign in Western Tang. The southern-most half of Gansu had fallen to his forces, along with the capital of Lanzhou. Fei was just one of thousands of peasants that willingly volunteered into his service and to the service of the Northern Chang Kingdom.

"Yes, what is it Fei?" the man said, his voice filled with a peaceful calm but one that was still filled with a strong, masculine quality that he has found to be quite seductive to the many ladies he had come across in his travels. Unfortunately for them, though, he already has a love that he had to leave behind in Beijing and hoped to be reunited with soon.

Fei kowtowed. "Sire, you shouldn't be out here. Scouts report of enemy archers patrolling the ridge to the north and south."

The man nodded. "Send out our own patrols, but go no further than the battlelines. I don't want a midnight battle. Too many of those in one lifetime."

"That is quite wise, milord," Fei agreed before bowing out. "I shall tell General Lu to send out the archers."

Fei left him, leaving the man back to his thoughts. He rubbed his chin, sparsely covered in long, black hairs that composed a beard. Additional wisps of black hair drooped from his upper lip as his mustache. His penetrating black eyes stared across the battlefield again. He recalled having done this same ritual many times before in the past as a young boy. In truth, he technically still is, having only turned 18 about a week or two ago. In reality, he is perhaps the youngest general in the entire army and among the youngest soldiers in the entire army period. But it didn't matter how old he was. He was the Emperor of Northern Chang and that was his authority.

And with that authority came an unavoidable boost of mental age. Though his body young and fit, his mind, at the moment, felt old, tired, and weary. He longed for home, for the woman he held so dear and loved so much. All that he wanted to do right now was march straight home, take his woman into his arms, and repay her for staying so patient for 5 long years. But unfortuantely, he couldn't.

He had been at war for a little over 5 years now, or so he thought. His latest campaign had taken a little over 7 months, starting on a sweep of southern Gansu, an assault on Chengdu (which in turn gave them the entire province of Sichuan), then an upward swing towards the east as a crack at Zhengzhou. So far, this had been his most successful campaign. Sichuan, half of Gansu, Chongqing, and Hubei provinces had all fallen to him. He now had over 300,000 soldiers under his command, only 100,000 when he had left Beijing all those months ago. Soldiers had defected to him, peasants had joined him, and so on. The people have nicknamed him an all-around people's man, and his actions reflected it. So did his army.

While his circular campaign had been a success, he had heard that others hadn't been so successful. A few key cities in Shaanxi, Shanxi, and Shandong Provinces had fallen to the Ming and Southern Chang, although some had been reclaimed. General Pang had been killed and his forces decimated down in Guizhou Province in the south. And he had heard that the last person to fight at Zhengzhou was his Oath Brother, Tian Quanbei. He hadn't seen his body, but for all he knew, Quanbei was long dead and long decomposed among the other dead.

The sharp _THUNK_ of an arrow flying past him and striking a tree nearby brought him back to the battlefield before him. He supposed he would've been surprised if the opposite Southern Chang general didn't attempt to attack now. General Liang of Southern Chang, a subordinate officer to General Dian of Southern Chang, had been placed in charge of Zhengzhou after they had defeated the Ming forces protecting it, and he was reknowned for his aggressive war strategies, which consisted mainly of 'charge, kill, slaughter, come home.' The man had arrived about 4 days ago but the battle that had taken over Zhengzhou had been over for about a week, maybe more. The only reason he hadn't already won was because Liang was defending from inside of Zhengzhou's city walls and that there had obviously been some reinforcements that had come in before he had arrived.

Another arrow flew past his head, entirely too close for comfort. He sighed as he drew his sword. In the past, he would've have drawn his father's sword, but he considered it disrespectful now. His father deserved some peace. This was his war now, and his father shouldn't play any part of it. His personal jian, or Chinese straight sword, was a long, sharpened piece of pure steel, reinforced with jade and onyx. It had never failed him before and it wouldn't now. His enemies obviously wanted a midnight war and he sure as Hell wasn't going to let them land the first shot.

Yet another arrow flew at him, bouncing off of his armor. He glared at the opposite camp before storming off into his own camp. "Lu Xie! Gao Chong! Deng Ce! Assemble the troops! They wanna fight, so we're gonna give 'em a fight. Fei!" All around him, his soldiers began to scramble to their feet and out of their tents.

His messenger appeared by his side in a few seconds. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"What's the report from our scouts? Any civillians within the city walls or is it still unconfirmed?" he asked.

"We just got it in a few minutes ago, sire, I was about to tell you when the attack came." He took out a small scroll and read off from it. "Southern Chang forces have reportedly marched all civillians to the work/prisoner camps near Xiansi Castle in Hunan. Zhengzhou is now an enemy garrison." He looked away from the note. "No civillians, Your Majesty."

The man nodded solemnly. "Good. I've been waiting for this for a while now. Find General Gao and tell him to load the artillery batteries and prepare the siege weapons. Begin the fire attack."

* * *

**The Afterthought:**

**Author: (Looks around) Phew, no signs of an angry mob.**

**Jimmy: Ahem, turn around.**

**Author: Eh? (Looks behind him. There is in fact an angry mob) I had to open my big mouth!**

**Wendy: Get him! (Grabs Author by the collar) Oh no you don't!**

**Author: Traitor! I thought you were on my side!**

**Wendy: Your point?**

**Author: ...**

**Shaojia: Besides, it's your own damn fault for holding this chapter off for nearly forever. What took you so damn long?**

**Wendy: Eek! Shaojia! (Glomps him)**

**Shaojia: Ah! Help! Get her off! Or to therapy!**

**Author: Ahem, that's one of the reasons. Apparently, my sister gave her a picture representation of what you are supposed to look like. And it seems our psychopathic friend Wendy here has taken quite a shine to him. Thus, the glomping. Thus, my confusion. Thus, a giant headache that stayed for um... about a month or two. (Whispers) Phew, i think they bought it.**

**Shaojia: Well, that's fine and all, but this is a bit much! (Shoves Wendy's face away from his) I mean, I love Meiling after all!**

**Cindy: And by fangirl code, that just makes you an even better character to obsess over. Fangirls love inaccessibility. (Jimmy stares at her) What?**

**Author: For once, I'm not the one who has lost his sanity.**

**Jimmy: Well, you can't lose that which you never had.**

**Author: ...**

**Emily: Psst, big bro, he just called you crazy.**

**Author: I knew that! I was, uh, just figuring out ways to kill him. And I have just the way! Come on Britney, show us you're not a washed up old hag! (Covers ears with Bose headphones as Britney Spears comes in)**

**Shaojia: Are you crazy, man?! The Hell's wrong with you! (Jumps off bridge)**

**Wendy: I'm coming with you! And (Insert your guess for Author's name here) you are a fucking psycho! (Jumps off behind Shaojia)**

**Britney Spears: (Offkey) Hit me baby one more time! **

**Author: Done! (Punches Britney and tosses her into a conveniently placed pit of boiling hot lava. Con queso...) What? Even with these patented Bose headphones, which can block out all excessive outside noise, for sale now at your local electronics dealer, one can only take so much Britney Spears before wanting to shoot her in the head or shotput her into a pit of lava... con queso.**

**Jimmy: Ahem. Anyways, that's all the time we have for today-**

**Cindy: What are you talking about? We've got like 15 minutes left.**

**Jimmy: Huh? Really? Well, um...**

**Shaojia: Uh, guys?**

**Author: What?**

**Shaojia: HELP! (Is dangling off of the bridge with Wendy hanging firmly to his legs)**

**Author: ... Nah!**

**Jimmy: Well, now we're all out of time-**

**Author: Still got about 10 minutes-**

**Jimmy: -Who passed 3rd grade math?**

**Author: ... Shaddup...**

**Jimmy: Ahem, anyways, we're all out of time here at The Afterthought. Just wanted to thank those that have reviewed so far and for those of our viewers still in school, hang in there, summer's almost here!**

**Author: Get ready for the next action-packed chapter! Buy clean underwear!**

**Jimmy: Em, has your brother always been this insane?**

**Emily: Not always. Most of the time he's just stupid.**


	5. Enter the Forbidden City

**Chapter 5:**

**Enter the Forbidden City**

* * *

_"The hardest part, for me anyways, about getting help as an Enforcer is actually finding other fucking Enforcers to help you," Wang Shaojia, W-12_

* * *

Sleep tugged at him. In fact, it weren't for the horse galloping at full speed all night making it pracitcally impossible for him to fall asleep, he probably would've fallen off the damn thing by now. But now, as the sun begins to rise over his Oath Brother's lands, he's beginning to find sleep a little harder to resist. Still, he knew that he had to regroup with Jimmy and Cindy before they get themselves into trouble.

Quanbei yawned and began to tip slightly to the right before jolting back up, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes. He had been traveling for hours. The reinforcements had come a little while after Jimmy and Cindy had left with General Zao leading them, so Quanbei felt it was a good time to dramatize his wound and make a believeable exit. Dramatized or not, however, riding the horse for so long did not do his arm any good, but it was merely a slight stinging pain. He would live. Probably. In the meantime, though, he'd be pretty much useless in a hand-to-hand battle since his only weapon was his Guan Dao polearm and that required both arms for most techniques. Like the pain, he'd have to get used to that.

He was so focused on the path in front of him that he failed to notice something; his horse was slowing down. When he finally did, however, he realized that the animal was just as tired as he was, perhaps more so since it had to go back up the same path it had gone down with the reinforcements with less than an hour's worth of rest. There was no helping it. He had to stop soon, for his sake and the horse's, his only means of reaching the two Americans. He sure as Hell wasn't going to try and catch up to them on foot.

He led the horse to a nearby clearing. He quickly dismounted and immediately fell to the ground. So many days of continuous battle had taken a serious toll on his health. He couldn't even muster the strength to stand back up. Hell, he couldn't even feel his legs. As he let the more-than-welcome grasp of sleep reach him, he began to wonder what exactly his elder Oath Brother was doing anyways. 'Avoiding death as always, probably,' he thought ruefully.

* * *

"Your Majesty, they're preparing to make another charge!" Wang Shaojia, Emperor of Northern Chang, looked sideways from his place on the battlefield. The voice belonged to one of his generals, General Lu Xie, barely audible over the din of the raging battle around them. "Please, get back to the high ground. It's too dangerous!"

"My place is with my men," Shaojia replied as he kicked a nearby enemy soldier in the stomach, spun with his sword, and subsequently cleaved him in half sideways. "I've said it once and I'll say it again. No one can truly lead if he doesn't know what the common folk go through. How do you expect me to give orders to this army if I don't know the strengths and weaknesses of this enemy first hand!"

The elder general shook his head in dismay, and Shaojia knew what his source of reasoning was. He was the Emperor and he shouldn't be down here with commoners, fighting a war. Most would argue he had no place being anywhere near a battle. But in Shaojia's opinion, they could take their concern and shove it up their ass and get back to fighting. "Well, Your Majesty, you've seen it first hand. But right now, we need orders!"

Shaojia nodded. "Well then, I order you to have our main force charge on standby in case they do try to charge. and send our archers to attack the ridges on both sides and have our artillery and auxillary reinforcements follow them. Don't let them fall back into Zhengzhou. Secure that gate, surround the city, and commence a fire attack. We'll keep them occupied for a bit and try to thin their numbers before we charge into the main city." When he saw Lu look at him reluctantly, Shaojia stabbed another enemy soldier in the stomach before yelling, "Go!"

Lu left immediately, slicing at a few soldiers nearby that were engaged in battle with their troops. Now, Shaojia could finally concentrate on the battle at hand.

The night before, after General Liang of Southern Chang had ordered an artillery barrage of arrows on his forces, Shaojia had ordered for his own forces to charge on both sides of the ridge while his own archery battery returned fire. The charge was a success as it blindsided the Southern Chang archers. However, while his soldiers were attempting to lay siege to Zhengzhou, Liang remobilized his men and sent them out to charge directly into his forces. He had no other choice but to pull back and rally his troops in order to make a stand.

And after 6 or 7 hours, that's where they were now, playing a deadly game of push-and-shove. And that's where he was now, racking up kill after kill as he stayed in mostly the same place, waiting for a break in their luck or for Liang to run out of men. So far, neither seemed to be capable of happening any time soon, as indicated by the pile of bodies that had accumulated underneath him. Luckily, while his men had the benefits of armor in the affluent Northern Chang, the soldiers of the Southern Chang had barely any armor, and the armor they wore was weak. What they lacked in equipment, however, they more than made up for in sheer tenacity, strength, and numbers.

Though he was probably the most vulnerable person on the field, armed only with his personal jian, which was more of a court sword and rather unfit for battle, he was really more concerned for his troops. Thanks to Enforcer training, he was used to the blood, gore, and of course fast-paced combat that threatened to consume him and everything around him. The villagers and peasants that had joined his army weren't, and that would affect their fighting. And he wasn't even going to consider what the effects of fighting for so long would do were. In any case, he would have to find a way to rally his men and get them into a good fighting spirit again.

He was brought out of his train of though as he saw several soldiers charge up the pile of their comrades in a short line, armed with spears. With jian in hand, he batted them away slightly, just enough so they wouldn't hit him, and charged the soldiers with his sword held sideways, edge pointing them. After mowing them down, he twisted until he came into a full 360 degree turn and brought his sword around with him, cutting the legs out from under another soldier. He finished him off quickly with a stab to the chest.

As soon as he looked up, he saw a short sword being thrust toward his face. He dropped backwards and kicked his legs out. After his attacker fell, Shaojia jumped up beside him with his opponent's dropped sword in hand. After stabbing the man in the chest, he took the sword out and threw it like a javelin into a nearby soldier. He then decided now was the time to jump off of his pile of kills and help thin out the lines elsewhere.

The sound of battle roared in his ears as he took a second to take a look around him. Men were charging back and forth, often engaging each other in the midst of their charges. Soldiers were scattered everywhere, the dead lying in every horrible position imaginable, the living continuing to play their dangerous game.

He snapped his focus back towards the enemies all around him. He jumped into an enemy soldier that wasn't paying any attention to him and thrust his sword into his chest. Not yet extracting it, he picked the soldier up slightly with his sword and charged into a group of enemies. The soldiers saw him charge with their comrade mounted on his sword. They charged him in kind with their spears. Shaojia stopped short, put his foot on the dead man's chest, and roughly shoved him off of his sword and into the small group of charging spearmen. The man was pierced onto their spears and they were knocked off balance, enough for Shaojia to finish them off.

He spun swiftly with his sword into a nearby soldier, leaving him with a deep gash in the ribs and taking him out of the fight. A nearby Southern Chang soldier, armed with a halberd, charged at him. When he raised the giant halberd over his head to strike, Shaojia sliced at his neck with his jian. He caught the halberd before it hit the ground and cleaved the man in half in his spin first before tossing the halberd into a large masse of enemy soldiers in his second spin. The upper halves of men flew in seperate directions than their lower halves as the halberd sliced through them like a knife through butter.

Bringing his focus away from that part of the battle to the area around him, he saw another group of spearmen charging at him. Shaojia dodged to the side, using the side of his jian to ensure that none of the spearheads would strike him, and grab upper body of the spear's staff, preventing the users from pulling them back. He then pulled, sending the men towards him where he could slit all of their throats with one slash of his jian.

He then sensed that someone was behind him. He turned around quickly with his sword, just in time to see a soldier swing at him with his dao. He parried with his jian, hooked under the man's arm, and impaled the soldier in the chest. He unwrapped his arm around his, pulled his sword back out, and shoved the man aside with a swift kick before slicing at the back of another soldier behind him.

Suddenly, the sounds of drums beating rapidly in a distinct four-two-four pattern accompanied by a horn blasting a low-high note were heard by all of the soldiers in the battlefield, despite the fighting. It was the Southern Chang call for a retreat. They were attempting to regroup, Shaojia believed, as he knew the enemy commander would never give up Zhengzhou. He looked up ahead and on the ridges. His archers were almost in position and his artillery was following just a little ways away behind them. The auxillary reinforcements were already in position under cover of the trees lining the ridge, or at least, they should be, ready to ambush if the retreating force comes too close to the gate or if the gate opens.

He slashed vainly at a few retreating enemies that zoomed past him, slaying some of them in their tracks while only harming others. Still, a severed enemy arm is an arm that will never harm another of his soldiers. "Form up! Prepare to hold their charge!"

Behind him, his main army of approximately 250,000 strong were spread out all around ridges looming slightly above the city waiting to help reinforce the remainder of the 45,000 that gone into battle with him and a couple of other generals into the battlefield just outside the city as well as into the city before being pushed out under threat of their own fire attacks along with enemy ambushes within the city. The other 5,000 were along the ridges as archers or artillerymen.

The enemy was surrounded and General Liang had to know that. Reinforcements and provisions sent in from the Southern Chang Kingdom would run into heavy resistance. The enemy was trapped within the walls that kept them from complete and utter annihilation.

He brought his sword around in front of him and assumed a stance. The enemy was now mostly in a line in front of him, save for a few that had failed to retreat fully and were currently being dealt with by his own soldiers. He pointed the tip of his sword directly at his enemy. "One last chance! Surrender!"

The enemy commander of this particular field of battle replied by swatting the hind of his horse to force it into a charge and wrapping a cloth around its eyes to keep it in a full charge. His forces followed in behind him, spearmen out front and infantry behind them. Shaojia grunted slightly and waved his sword forward. He charged the enemy line with a fierce yell, his troops following him dutifully into the enemy charge.

* * *

Jimmy groaned slightly as the bright sunlight filtering in through the trees' canopies hit his eyelids. He blinked away the struggling grasps of sleep and put his hand over his eyes to shield them from the light. He yawned before attempting to get up, but when he did, he felt something pull him back. It was a hand. A feminine hand inside his robe and dangerously near his waist.

He glanced quickly to where the intruding limb was coming from to see that it was Cindy, hair in a mess under her head, robes disshelved and slightly parted, and sleeping soundly with her hand inside his robe. He considered going back to sleep to see what her reaction to their current position would be until an odd smell reached his nose.

He looked over to the fire pit, long burned out, but with the burnt remains of the fish they had caught but had forgotten to eat from last night laying in the pit. They must have fallen in while they were... Ahem. Engaging in minor premarital relations. He let out another yawn before removing Cindy's hand from his robe. It would be best if she never found out. Now was not the time for awkward silence.

He kicked some dirt into the firepit to insure that there were no embers left. The sudden noise, light though it was, was enough to stir Cindy from her peaceful sleep. "Mmm..." she mumbled rather articulately before attempting to sit up. She yawned before greeting, "Morning, Jimmy."

He nodded his reply. "Morning." He stretched again. "Wanna try and catch breakfast, seeing as we accidentally skipped breakfast, or do you wanna go on ahead?"

Before Cindy even got a chance to reply, both of their stomachs rumbled. She sighed before giggling. "Looks like our stomachs've decided for us."

Jimmy nodded in agreement. "You wrap things up in camp, alright? I'm gonna go over to the river and fish up something."

"Don't fall in, now!" she joked.

"I think you have a very selective memory," he called back, "You're the one that fell in!"

* * *

In the tree directly above them, another person began to stir. And unlike the two below, he was in anything but a happy mood. The words restless and highly irritable are a few words that come to mind. He rubbed his eyes through the cloak around his head before uttering a silent yawn. He felt his own stomach rumble. He sighed. Great, now he was hungry. How was he supposed to eat anything without being seen.

He could sneak away for a little while to catch a rabbit or something, use his pocket lighter to cook it real quick and eat it, but his targets might get away, among other things that could go wrong on this already bad mission. And 'bad' was barely a vague enough description for it.

He had to weigh the pros and cons of this. If he left to get some food, he might get discovered by the fire's smoke. In addition to that, he might not find any animals nearby, hunt for too long, and lose his targets in this strange Ancient China universe they were in. Then, he'd never find a way home.

On the otherhand, if he didn't get any food soon, it would affect his performance. He had gone on a few operations without food for a while, and the hunger was no problem, but for the last year and a half, he had never gone on a spy operation for longer than a few days, and even then, it was just general reconnaisance or tracking and assassination where he could always get a hot meal after a long day's work. Ashamed as he was to say it, he was used to it and now it was biting him in the ass with a pair of genuine vampire dentures.

And what's worse, the two below him were calmly chatting from a distance and preparing to have a nice breakfast. Damn them!

He sighed. It wouldn't take long to get enough fish to make a big enough breakfast for just the two of them. If he went hunting, he'd probably end up taking too long cooking up a rabbit or maybe a fish of his own or something and he'd lose them. he'd just have to wait until they stop somewhere longer for their horse to eat.

He leaned back against the tree. He wondered how things were going back home. Things back there must be going a lot easier. His master's plan should be in motion by now. Unless there's been a slight snag... Again...

* * *

Mr. Yoo sighed as he looked at his watch. '7:32,' he thought to himself. It had taken him several hours to get to his boss's safehouse in China. He had been waiting for over an hour, now, though, for all the members of their little meeting to arrive. The only ones that were here at the moment, however, were him, his boss, and his boss's mistress/personal bodyguard.

His eyes shot to the door when it began to open. In came two guards dressed in North Korean Army uniforms, both armed with AK-47s. They took guarding positions on either side of the door while another man bearing the North Korean Army's insignia for a general and also in uniform marched into the room, a pair of black shades over his eyes.

"General," Yoo's boss greeted, "How good of you to finally come."

General Jeong Seong-ryong was the top commanders of the North Korean Armed Forces, specifically in their army. He was, in fact, the North Korean leader's brother-in-law, although not officially anymore ever since his wife died of ovarian cancer the year of the end of the Cold War. Nonetheless, they remained close. Or so the Glorious Leader believed. In this very room, General Jeong, Mr. Yoo, and their employer were plotting a scheme for world domination, and their plan demanded that certain world leaders needed to be taken out.

"Air traffic was difficult to evade," General Jeong replied in kind as he took a seat across from Mr. Yoo. "The damn Chinese are on high-alert. Barely got past the border while out of their radar."

Their employer nodded. "Gentlemen, we have a problem. Our Enemy in Common has gone missing-"

"And this is a problem?" Mr. Yoo and General Jeong muttered simultaneously.

"-to receive help from the other Enforcers. I've reviewed the intel collected from the agents I've dispatched over these years of meticulous planning." He wheeled over to a map of the United States. "Retroville, Texas is Mr. Neutron's home. That is our first priority once we take control of the ISS. General, what's our status on that?"

General Jeong shook his head. "The Japanese are getting on our case about our suggestions for a Nuclear Missile Defense System. Keep pushing the Kyoto Protocol over our heads. Don't know how much longer my people can last before they shoot someone out of an airlock because I've been tempted to go up there and do that myself."

Their employer sighed. "Of course. Still, it can't be avoided and not all of the pieces are even on the board yet, so that can wait. What about the aid troops? Are the Chinese and the Americans still unaware of our intentions?"

General Jeong nodded. "That, at least, is going well. 500,000 in America and 300,000 in China."

"Why so little in China?" Mr. Yoo asked.

"Because we can easily take their capital if they're distracted from within. An airborne invasion of the rest of the NKA should take care of Beijing." General Jeong then looked at the map of Retroville. "Meanwhile, the 500,000 in America should push inwards. Their forces are spread out across the Middle East and all across the West Coast. It should be an easy job once that ISS is under North Korean control." He chanced a looked at his employer. "In fact... We may be able to start now...

Their employer contemplated this for a time before shaking his head. "Things are going well, but now's too early." He then cleared his throat. "Moving onto you now, Mr. Yoo; about your... spy operations..."

"Yes sir?" Mr. Yoo asked tentatively.

"I need you to dispatch a back-up team to Retroville in case Neutron returns. As many as you deem necessary yet still concealable. If they come back, I want to know." Their employer wheeled around so his back was to them. "Gentlemen, this meeting is adjourned. We'll discuss the relocation tomorrow."

* * *

Jimmy licked his fingers as he layed down beside Cindy after finishing their large breakfast. "So much for moving out, today," he muttered softly. "I can barely get up."

Cindy nodded her agreement, but added. "Who's fault do you think that is?"

Jimmy glanced at her. "Yours," he said bluntly before adding, "Not my fault you know how to cook fish... I thought you didn't even like fish, you know after-"

Cindy slapped him on the chest playfully. "Oh here we go again, the Giant Fish That Nearly Ate Us story. Please, I think you tell _yourself_ that one just to stay amused."

They laid in silence under the shade of the trees all around them. A soft breeze wafted in while the Sun up above filtered in delicately through the tree canopy, creating an elegant balance. Birds chirped all around and the soft churning of the mighty river further up north of their position was a gentle, ambient soundtrack to their ears.

Jimmy had almost fallen asleep when he picked up a strange sound. He tilted his head upwards and looked around. He concentrated on the sound. The birds and the river slowly disappeared and all he could hear now was a repetitive beating, like a broken car's carborator except in a steadier rhythm. He then realized what it was. Someone was coming towards them on horseback.

He jumped to his feet and Cindy looked at him in concern. When she saw him fumble around in his robes for his gun, though, she knew that trouble was probably coming their way and then heard the horse coming. She drew one of the daggers Tian had given them and hid behind a tree. Soon, Jimmy was able to get his pistol from his robe and hid behind a tree as well.

The hoofbeats grew louder and louder as the intruder approached, but the rhythm grew into a soft trot before becoming even lighter. Slowly, the hoofbeats stopped entirely. Jimmy and Cindy shared a glance. The sounds of grass and twigs crunching as someone dismounted came. Now, whoever the rider was, was on foot. That made him a perfect target.

Jimmy waited for the person to draw closer. There was a nagging at the back of his head that it was someone else, but he ignored it. The footsteps now stopped. Then a voice, barely more than a whisper, said in Mandarin, "That's their horse... Hmph, bet those two are off fooling around somewhere. It figures that only Americans would find the dangerous woods of the Chinese countryside as good a place as any to have carnal sex while their universe is in peril."

The two Americans looked at each other and blushed before Jimmy yelled back in English, "Just what is that supposed to mean?"

He wheeled around from his cover as did Cindy to see a surprised Tian Quanbei. "The Hell?!" he yelped before regaining his composure. "Just what exactly were you two doing behind those trees?"

"We thought you were someone else, a bandit or something, " Cindy replied for them.

Tian scoffed. "I'm flattered," he replied dryly. "Come on, that's the Tianjin river. Beijing's not too far from here, maybe 75 more miles. We should get there a little after midday. And if you have to talk, say it in Mandarin. Hopefully, that'll help keep any wanderers from investigating the foreign language-speaking people on horseback in the woods. There are enough fairy tales and urban legends around here as it is."

Jimmy nodded and holstered his pistol and Cindy sheaved the dagger. "So I guess those troops we saw on the way really were the reinforcements?"

Tian nodded as he walked back to mount his horse. He brought it forwards, towards them as they did the same. "200,000 troops led by General Ming. That should stop those damn Southern Chang troops before they advance any further."

After Cindy had situated herself on the saddle, Jimmy brought the horse alongside Tian's. They both snapped their reins lightly and the horses broke out into a light trot. "So, what's changed since we've last met? I forgot to ask you about the war situation."

Tian shook his head. "It's starting to become a stalemate. Again. Right now, after Cong Wulong, well, he calls himself Cong Huanglong nowadays-"

"Wait, Cong Wulong," Cindy interrupted. "Wasn't he one of the generals back in the war?"

Tian nodded. "He turned to a life of crime and evaded Enforcer arrest, somehow. I don't know, it happened at least 4 years ago, when we were beginning to win. Shaojia probably knows the whole story, though, he still keeps in touch with most of his old connections from time to time. Anyways, after he took over the Southern Chang, the Kingdoms of Tang and Ming came under complete pressure, Tang from the usual wandering nomad tribes and both Chang Kingdoms; Ming from pretty much everybody, including the Japanese."

Jimmy furrowed his eyebrows. "The Japanese are in this now? Whose side are they on?"

Tian shrugged. "Not Ming's, obviously, but not anyone else's either. I think they're in this war because Ming pissed them off. How? I don't know, but in any case, we, the Northern Chang I mean, made a deal with them that if they blockade Southern Chang and Ming's seaports, by the end of the war, we'll pay them their emperor's weight in gold. And he's one fat sonuvabitch; as wide as a damn city wall, I hear."

"How can you possibly afford that, then?" Cindy asked.

Tian laughed as they came across the bridge leading over the Tianjin River. "Like I said, Shaojia still has connections in the Enforcers, including his bank account and a private matter generator. We've been trying to get the clearance to export additional matter generators for the troops, even firearms to use esepecially against Southern Chang's sharpshooters, but we haven't been able to find the time to fill out all the paperwork, so we've had to resort to using that single generator for everything from war to Chinese New Years decorations."

Jimmy nodded. "So, the Japanese have the ports blocked, Ming and Tang are being pummeled by each other and by both Chang Kingdoms who are in turn at each other's throats. Is that about right?"

Tian nodded. "For the most part." Halfway across the bridge, he saw a group of people gathering at the end of the bridge. A group of people with knives, swords, and clubs. "Clear the way for General Tian of Northern Chang!" he hollered at them. They didn't budge. "Bandits, leave! I am on Imperial business. I don't want to have to kill you."

The leader of the bandits, a man wearing a wolf's skull over his head and a sword in his hand, yelled back to him. "Give us your money, General. You're outnumbered. Where's the rest of your army? Dead I hope!"

General Tian roared out in anger. "Damn rebels!"

"What's going on?" Jimmy asked.

"Rebels," Tian replied. "In almost every kingdom, rebels are starting to pop up everywhere. They just don't like any leader, regardless of who it is. They just want the war to last longer so they can pillage as much as they want and let the government take the rap for it."

"Enough chatter, General," the man yelled as he and his men approached them. "You're surrounded."

Tian suddenly looked behind them to see that several horsemen were appearing from out of the woodwork and had the other end of the bridge blocked off. They had no other choice but to surrender or fight. Well, he wasn't about to surrender, that was for sure. He spun his Guan Dao with his only good hand and looked down either side of the bridge. "You're making a mistake."

"You're in no position to talk! Attack!" The bandits ran towards them from either side.

Jimmy looked over at Tian for an idea of what to do. He was currently charging at the horsemen with his Guan Dao. The Guan Dao was more or less a staff with a blade mantled onto the end. He swung the weapon around at the nearest horseman as he passed by and let it go into the other one. Both fell to the ground with deep gashes in their abdomens. There were only 3 horsemen left.

Jimmy then turned to the bandits charging them on foot. He drew the sword he was given and brought his horse into a full gallop. When he felt Cindy grab his waist tightly, he swung the sword at the nearest bandit before swinging it around the other side to take out another one. He then felt Cindy reach into his robes. "Now is not the time!"

"Shut up!" Cindy shouted back, slapping him upside the head for the comment. Undoing his robe slightly, she reached inside and grabbed his pistol. With only one hand around his waist and the horse's gallop throwing off her aim, she fired as accurately as she could into the bandits, hitting one in the leg and another in the shoulder. "Quanbei, come on!" she yelled back to the general.

General Tian looked away from his melee with the horsemen for a moment before swinging his Guan Dao around him to clear his immediate area. Another horseman fell, making only 2 left. He kicked the horse's sides to goad it into a full gallop and mowed past the remaining foot bandits, rolling one underneath the hooves of his horse and decapitating another with his Guan Dao as he charged through them.

The remaining bandits were about to take pursuit when a barrage of shuriken knives burst from a nearby tree. The bandits fell one by one until they were all dead. A few tense seconds passed before a fgure cloacked in black jumped onto the bridge with the grace of a cat. He looked around and found what he was looking for, a sword. The assassin attatched it to his obi sash and picked up a few nearby shurikens before jumping back into the trees in pursuit of his targets.

* * *

Jimmy and Cindy continued to ride onwards as they retreated from the battle on the bridge. "Jimmy, wait!"

He pulled on the reins of the horse, pulling it to a stop. "What is it?"

Cindy pointed behind them. "I think we lost them... And Quanbei, too. We should probably wait for a bit."

Jimmy nodded. Cindy handed the gun back to him. "That was a bit insane... And he said it was like this all around the country?"

Cindy shrugged. "I wouldn't be surprised. We still get muggings back home, too, so I guess bandits are to be expected in an Ancient China at war with itself. Hey, hold on." She put a hand over her eyes to block the sun and focused back down the road. "Here he comes!"

Quanbei's horse galloped on, the rider pinning the Guan Dao to his back as he rode. He glanced over his shoulder once, stopped, and then rode towards them. "Are they gone?" Jimmy asked as he approached.

Quanbei nodded. "They'll be back. If they find us, that is. Come on, we should keep going. It should be straight shooting from here on out unless we run into anymore bandits. I doubt it, though. Local militias are starting to expand their patrols around their villages, so once we travel a little farther North, we should be fine." Once again, they set off towards the Forbidden City. A few minutes passed in silence. "I think that this works out for everybody," he mused quietly.

"What was that?" Jimmy asked, glancing over at Quanbei slightly.

He looked up at the trees and the sky hidden behind it. "You remember Meiling, right?"

They both nodded. "Yeah, Shaojia's girlfriend, right?" Jimmy replied.

Quanbei laughed. "More like fiance," he said.

"What?" Cindy smiled. "I knew he'd ask her one of these days. So, any news on when the wedding is?"

Quanbei's smile turned sour. He sighed. "When... or if Shaojia ever comes back. He didn't want her to be tied down if he died. Still, she's pretty much Empress, nowadays after he left for war."

Jimmy nodded. "So what do you mean, 'this works out for everybody?'"

Quanbei scoffed. "You know Meiling. Somehow, someway, even if we tie her down with cement blocks and throw her into the ocean, she'd find a way to follow us through the transporter. Then, I don't have to deal with her whining in my ear, 'Where's Shaojia? Oh, dear love, where are you?'" He contorted his face in disgust. "At first it was cute, but put up with it for a few years, you'll want to strangle her. When Shaojia gets back, I'm getting him to ban the romance dramas from the opera."

Cindy smiled. "Well, you can't blame her, can you? Her man is off fighting a war and she's left helpless to wonder whether or not he'd come back... So romantic..."

Jimmy and Quanbei stared distraughtly at her. "Oh God, not you too!" they both groaned.

"Got a problem with that?" Cindy asked bemusedly.

The two whistled nervously as they pushed onwards towards the Northern Chang capital, Beijing.

* * *

Shaojia looked up and down the length of the city walls of Zhengzhou from his commanding position atop of a bold, white stallion, his generals standing by beside him. All along the perimeter of the entire city, his siege weapons were attempting to overcome the defenders' fortifications. He looked up one of the siege ladders as his men tried to climb up to the top before a defender could push the entire thing over. Unfortunately for the 20 or so that had managed to climb it, a defender had reached it in time and the two columns of flimsy bamboo tipped over and sent the soldiers falling for about 20 feet. This was actually the only reason that Shaojia wasn't charging over the city walls; everytime he tried to reach a ladder, it would be pushed over. Which, quite frankly, suited his generals just fine.

He shook his head as he looked over at where the battering rams were trying to bash the steel gates down. They had been at it for a little over an hour and very little progress was showing. It was like the gates were braced with an entire damn building! They had even used the cannons to help batter the gates but that just left dents in it. And they had already tried bashing a hole in a wall. All that did was leave a battering ram splintered and broken.

The only siege weapon that was working were the fire arrows. They were like an ancient anti-air weapon used for anti-infantry purposes. The tips were lit with fire and the butts were packed with gunpowder, all of which tied together at the end by a long chord. When the chord was lit, it sent all 200 of the arrows to their projected targets. In the waning afternoon lighting, the smoke and the fire leaping out from the city was an intimidating yet exhilerating sight to behold.

The enemy charge had lasted out only for an hour or two and was easily beaten back by the larger Northern Chang army. Not too many losses were inflicted, although a fire arrow siege machine accidentally backfired and ended up spinning in the circle and reeked a little bit of havoc in his lines, but that couldn't have been helped. Techology of the age was unpredictable as it was.

It was around mid-afternoon when they had finally reached the walls of Zhengzhou, and it was an hour later when their siege weapons reached the wall and they began to try and overcome the city walls and annihilate the enemy force within, preferrably capturing the enemy commander, General Liang. Key word being 'try'. As mentioned before, they had been attempting to overcome the walls for a little over an hour now and little progress was being made.

**_CRASH!!_**

Shaojia snapped his attention over to the closest gate where the ram had bashed the city gates apart. It took barely a second for the stimulus to recieve the desired reaction from the troops along the wall where the gate was. The soldiers erupted into victorious cheers. Shaojia smiled as well and smiled even wider when he heard the subsequent crashes of the other city gates. Now was there chance.

"Charge! Into the city!" He drew his sword and whirled over his head before urging his horse forward and into the city. As he passed through the walls, he saw that the Southern Chang forces had braced the steel gates with their own battering ram; its remains as well as the troops that were trying to hold it steady were lying all around.

As he passed the remains, enemy soldiers charged his horse. Shaojia swung his sword around where metal met flesh and first blood was finally drawn within the city walls of Zhengzhou. As their emperor engaged the enemy, the rest of the Northern Chang forces surged into the city like water into a sponge.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon when Quanbei let out a sigh of relief. He took off his helmet and gazed at the giant, majestic wall before him. "Beijing... The Imperial City..."

Jimmy and Cindy soon rode up beside him and looked at the wall as well. "Wow... It's... beautiful..." Cindy ran her eyes all along the crimson red walls before looking over to the largest and most ornate gate, just up ahead on the road they were on. "This is really the Imperial City?"

Quanbei nodded. "What you're looking at is just the Outer City walls. That gate up ahead is Guangningmen. That's just one of three of the gates on the South wall. Come on, it's gonna be night soon. I'll secure you two some lodgings in the Forbidden City."

They both nodded numbly as they followed Quanbei forward towards the gate. As soon as they were about 20 feets from the gate, the guards rushed forward, spears held at the shoulder. "General!" They kneeled and kowtowed. "If I may ask, milord," one of the guards asked, "where is the army?"

"General Zao is taking care of them along with his reinforcements while I come back here for Imperial business," Quanbei answered curtly. "Open the gates!"

The guard relayed the command. "Open the gates for General Tian!"

The majestic gates creaked open slowly with a majestic quality. The sounds of a market became clearer as Jimmy and Cindy followed Quanbei into Outer Beijing. As they passed through the gate, soldiers wearing red sunhats and blue robes with a red seal over the torso fell in line on either side of them, swords at the ready. They were going to have a royal escort all the way to the Forbidden City, it seemed.

As they made their way on the main street of Beijing, they all saw men and women alike clap, wave, and bow to General Tian. A man walked up to Tian's horse, but were stopped by the guards. Tian waved them off. "What can I help you with, citizen?"

The man bowed deeply before presenting a small basket. "General, please, try some of these meat buns. They're still fresh, milord! Please, try some!"

General Tian smiled and reached down to take a bun from the small basket. "Sure..." He took a bite and smiled appreciatively at the old bunmaster. "These are very good..." He took a small pouch from his bag and tossed it to the man. "These should cover them." He rode off before the old man could protest with the buns in hand. He handed the buns over to Jimmy and Cindy before giving the rest to the escorts. "You're relieved, men. I can make the journey on my own. Go home." With that, he snapped the reins and urged the horse to a steady gait, Jimmy and Cindy's horse following.

"Mmm..." Jimmy muttered as he tasted one of the meat buns, a roll made of rice flour with barbeque meat filled inside. "These are good... And the people really like you."

Quanbei nodded. "I think that's mostly because of Shaojia and my connection to him as his Oath Brother. He's more or less a blue-collar emperor, a man of the people you could say."

"A regular Jimmy Carter," Cindy commented as they continued towards the next gate, roughly a few miles up ahead. "So the Forbidden City's up there?"

Quanbei shook his head. "That's the Imperial City, you know, where the nobles, scholars, and richer merchants live. This here's the Market District, where a lot of the good common folk live along with the merchants and some of the school teachers." He then rubbed his chin for a moment. "Come to think of it, we might find Meiling somewhere out here. Well, most everyone knows her as Empress Hua nowadays."

"Hua?" Jimmy asked as he watched a group of children stop and watch them pass in awe before continuing on their way, gossiping to themselves.

Quanbei nodded. "Back in the old days, only the rich could afford to have a last name, pretty much like having a title really. It still kinda applies today, but in Northern Chang, more out of courtesy really. The poor like the rich because the rich are fair to the poor. Anyways, Hua's Meiling's last name, now."

"Hua Meiling?" Cindy mused. "Sounds nice."

They rode on in silence, with the exception of the hordes of civillians rushing to the streets to see their general and his companions gallop back to the Forbidden City. However, they could only follow so far until they reached the gates to the Imperial City, home of the rich, the elite, the nobles, the scholars, and within the innermost confines, the Empress and the Emperor.

"Dammit! Agh, Your Highness! Please, wait!" Li Paosung, Supreme Imperial Chancellor to Emperor Wang Shaojia of the Kingdom of Northern Chang, was hollering after none-other than soon-to-be-Empress Hua Meiling. Meiling had decided to go on another one of her late-afternoon escapes from the palace and was touring the Scholar's Garden National Park just outside of the Forbidden City.

Meiling sighed as she turned around. Although she was often referred to as 'Your Highness' and 'Empress Hua', she neither acted nor spoke like an empress as long as she could help it. Now she saw why Shaojia despised Imperial court etiquette so much. "Yes, Paosung, what is it?"

Paosung untangled himself from his Imperial Chancellor robe's ridiculously long sleeves. "Ugh, Quanbei was right; with these sleeves, they must expect me to not have to walk anywhere," he muttered darkly as he finally got his foot out of his right sleeve. He then clasped his hands together within his sleeves. "Your Highness, it isn't proper for you to be out without an escort. Please, milady, come back to the Forbidden City before it gets dark." He bowed respectfully.

Meiling rolled her eyes. "Paosung? Can you please, please, please quite with the court etiquette?!" She sighed exasperatedly and motioned around the Scholar's Garden. "There isn't even anyone here for it to be 'improper'. So please, just stop, will you?"

Paosung nodded. "Yeah, guess you're right." He shook his head. "But still, you shouldn't be out here. Shaojia should be on his way back within the month, remember? A messenger came by last week from his army, said he was stationed somewhere in Hubei. God only knows how long that messenger must've traveled so by now his tour should almost be up. I'm guessing he's somewhere near our borders." He walked up to her and put his good hand, the hand he hadn't lost during his long service with the Enforcers, on her shoulder. "And I intend to make sure you are still safe when he returns." He then said mock-seriously before putting his hand to his head as if holding a pistol, "Or else..." he pretended to shoot himself.

Meiling laughed slightly before sitting down on a stone bench in front of a grand fountain. "Thanks for the concern, Paosung... I... I just needed some time to clear my head, that's all."

"There's a garden inside the Forbidden City," Paosung replied, sitting beside her. "Yet you insist on coming out here."

Meiling smiled sadly. "I know..." She looked over to the fountain, and her hand floated to a jade and gold phoenix pendant hanging from her neck as her mind drifted to a fond memory.

**_--Flashback--_**

_It was the winter of 2006, and it had been 4 years since the war between the 4 Chinese kingdoms had reignited. Coinicidentally, it had been a little over 4 years since Shaojia had taken back the throne. The light Beijing snow lined the ground and gave way to Meiling's footsteps as she ran through the Scholar's Garden, tears clinging to her face. She tripped over her pants' legs and crashed into the snow. She cried harder for a bit before pushing herself up and continued to run._

_She continued to run until she reached the central fountain of the park. She folded her arms onto the fountain and rested her head on them as she cried. She didn't bother to look up as the sounds of hooves came closer and closer. The sound of someone wearing heavy armor crunched into the snow before making their way toward her._

_"Meiling..." __She closed her eyes and willed for her pursuer to leave her be, to leave her to her inner turmoil. But unfortunately, and fortunately, for her, Shaojia was not that type of man to leave a woman to cry, especially not one he loved so much. "I don't have a choice."_

_Meiling snapped at him, glaring through teary, red eyes. "Yes you do! Don't go off to war! Don't be a general! Have your own generals do it!"_

_Shaojia sighed as he approached her. A gust of wind blew through the Scholar's Garden, sending his war cape flapping in the breeze as he waded through the snow. "You know it's not that simple." He put his hands on her arms and held her tightly. "Don't make this harder than it has to be, Meiling."_

_She launched herself into him, not caring about how cold his armor felt, only caring that he was with her now, if not just for a moment longer. "Please don't go, Shaojia... You'll get yourself killed!"_

_Shaojia laughed lightly. "I won't... I promise. I've made that promise God only knows how many times before. And I've kept it each time."_

_Meiling nodded against his armor. "I know..." They stood in silence for a few minutes. Dawn was swiftly approaching, meaning Shaojia needed to get to his troops soon if he was going to march out on time. "Please... Don't go..."_

_He shook his head. "I"m sorry... I can't do that, Meiling. My troops need me to show them that I am not like other emperors, ordering them to their death. If I am with them, I can help prove to them that no battle can be lost because I didn't know what things were like for them. And it shows the other nations that Heaven's Mandate is with me. Maybe I can end this war sooner. But until then..."_

_She hugged him tighter. "How long will you be gone this time?"_

_Shaojia simply stood in silence before whispering. "I don't know. Maybe a year, maybe more." Meiling began to cry slightly once more. "Aw, come on! Look!" He took her chin and made her look into his eyes. "I swear it, Meiling, that I will come back. And when I do, we will get married. Alright?"_

_Meiling smiled brightly and crushed her lips against his before parting. "Promise?"_

_He simply reached into his armor and pulled out a small pouch. "I'll do you one better."_

_She reached for it and opened the pouch. Her eyes widened as she pulled out a beautiful jade pendant with a golden phoenix crest engraved into it. "It's... It's beautiful..."_

_"And it's a promise," he said as he leaned in closer. "I will come back for you Meiling. Everytime you miss me, I want you to line this up with the Sun and look at it. For every sparkle on the phoenix's eye, that's how much closer I am to home."_

_Meiling smiled. "Thank you, Shaojia." They stood in silence for a while. "I love you."_

_Shaojia smiked and kissed her chastely on the lips as the Sun began to fully rise and dawn came across the Imperial City. "I know." He went back to his horse and mounted it. "I'll be back sooner than you think." He whipped the reins. The horse whinied powerfully before galloping through the snow and out of the Scholar's Garden._

_Meiling looked at the pendant. Doing as Shaojia had told her, she lined it up with the Sun. The phoenix's ruby red eye glimmered as bright as the Sun did. She held it close to her heart and prayed to the gods that Shaojia would make it back safely._

**_--End Flashback--_**

"Don't worry, he'll be back soon." Paosung' voice woke Meiling up from her reverie.

She held the pendant up to the Sun and lined them up. Again, the Phoenix's eyes lighted up, but this time brighter than she had seen in months. She smiled as she put it back around her neck. "I know."

Paosung sighed. "Come on, it's already getting late. We should get back to the palace." Meiling only nodded as she got up and followed Paosung out of the palace. "Now, on the way back, mind telling me how exactly you escaped the guards this time?"

She laughed nervously. "Oh, that... Um... Well, it's a bit of a long story..."

* * *

Quanbei sighed in satisfaction as their horses galloped through the virtually-deserted streets of the Imperial City. At this time of day, most occupants of the Imperial City portion of Beijing had long gone home to their families or to dinner, meaning that there was no chance of another crowd of citizens stopping them.

He noticed Jimmy and Cindy looking around at the sights and scenes of Ancient Chinese architecture. They had now entered the Scholar's district. He looked over to his left where the first national university of China was being constructed, as per Shaojia's order over a year ago. It was coming close to completion, now only needing proper staff and enough supplies.

Up ahead the entrance to the Scholar's Garden would stand majestically off to their right. The entrance was of two stone lions standing guard while a phoenix stood with its wings extended over both of them on top of a pedastal installed into the top of the gate that led into it. To ensure the privacy of the scholars that frequented the garden as well as to help them concentrate on their studies, a wall bordered the garden.

Suddenly, the gates to the Scholar's Garden swung open to reveal a young man in his late teens dressed in blue and green Imperial robes, the sleeves of which hung down as low as his ankles, accompanied by a young woman also in her late teens wearing a yellow and red Imperial robe with phoenix decorations covering it.

Jimmy and Cindy simply watched in confusion as Quanbei quickly dismounted his horse and kneeled into a kowtow. "Your Majesty!"

Realization soon dawned on the two Americans as the woman replied in exasperation. "Quanbei, you know that there's no one here to check up on our court etiquette. God, I hope Shaojia bans it, it's starting to annoy me too!"

Quanbei soon got up and cleared his throat before nodding his head towards Paosung. "I'm assuming that she's on another one of her rebellious escapes from the palace?"

Paosung simply stared at him in bemusement. "What do you think?" he asked sarcastically.

Jimmy and Cindy dismounted from their horse as well. Cindy approached the woman. "Meiling? Is that you?"

Meiling racked her mind for who the woman that had just asked her was before remembering the blonde hair. "Cindy?" The two embrace. "Oh my God, it's been so long!"

Jimmy just glanced at the two before going over to Paosung. "So you're the Paosung that created the armor that helped my people beat the Yolkians 5 years ago," he said before extending his hand. "Glad to meet you in person, finally."

Paosung looked at Jimmy before finally grasping his hand and shaking it firmly. "The pleasure's all mine, Neutron." After they let go, he pulled up the sleeve to the arm he had just shaken with. "Especially because after that war and the design was passed along to the other Enforcer labs, I got myself quite a bonus. Enough where I could buy myself this prostetic hand to replace the one I lost." He showed this by yanking the hand off before putting it back in the socket. "So, if you don't mind me asking, why are you here and how do you speak Chinese?"

Jimmy smiled proudly and took out his translation pills from his robe pockets. He passed the bottle of pills over to Paosung. "For your second question, the answer's simple: my latest invention. Take one and you can speak every language in the known world." He sighed as he took them back. "They're prototypes, though, and they only last up to two weeks at the most." His face then became rather grim. "And for your first one... I need to talk to Shaojia. Someone has sent two nuclear devices out into the world, one into the Santa Monica Bay area near LA, the other at a military base in China. I also have reason to believe that whoever this someone is also sent someone to assassinate me. I need Shaojia's help to get the Council's approval to send aid as well as help me find my assassin. I have a feeling this is bigger than any of us can imagine."

Paosung nodded. "Well, I have no idea where he is now. Last I heard was that he had taken all of Hubei Province and that was a week ago. Hubei's about as far from here as New York to Maryland, so he should be here maybe within a month, depending where he is."

Jimmy sighed. "Guess there's no other way we can contact him?"

Paosung shook his head. "Sorry, in order for the EIS to work, we actually have to know where the Hell he is so we can send you to him. I would suggest finding him using his transponder chip, but the battery life must've died out by now. We'll just have to wait for him to get here."

"I guess that's all we can do," Jimmy conceded. He looked over to where Cindy and Meiling were talking.

"Really?" Meiling said as her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my God... The W-12 Enforcer Legion is still in pretty good shape, I think. They'd be happy to help. But problem is, Shaojia's the only person that can authorize anything like that."

Cindy sighed. "I guess we'll have to either wait for him or find him then."

Meiling nodded. "In the meantime, you and Jimmy can stay in the Forbidden City. I'll have a room cleared out for you."

Jimmy nodded his thanks as he looked at the steadily darkening sky. "Thanks, uh, if it's not too much trouble."

"No trouble at all," she said as she began to walk towards the Forbidden City's intimidatingly high walls and gates. The others followed. "People have already begun to consider me as the empress so I can do pretty much anything I want. And I want to make sure my guests are comfortable while we wait for that stubborn jerk of a fiance to get here."

Shaojia stood on the ramparts of the city wall of Zhengzhou that faced south, towards Southern Chang. The chirping of the crickets helped to soothe his mind along with the cool breeze of the Chinese night. The battle had ended a little over an hour ago with he and his men as the victors. It wasn't a complete victory, however.

He strained his eyes to see in the dark as he looked back into the innards of Zhengzhou. A great many lives were lost in the battle, including Fei, his aide de camp, as well as Field Marshal Lu Tong, General Lu's immediate subordinate officer as well as his son. All in all, though, Southern Chang losses were far greater than Northern Chang's, losing at least twice the number of men they did. However, that was not why Shaojia believed it was an incomplete victory.

Zhengzhou was now deserted, a shell of what it used to be, and no people were around to enjoy its liberation, or rather, what was left of it. Instead, they were in a prison camp somewhere in the south, in Southern Chang. Not only that, but General Liang had escaped as well, although preliminary reports said he had been struck with an arrow in the back during his retreat. Nevertheless, General Liang's army was still a threat and if General Liang was indeed still alive, that made them even more dangerous.

"Your Majesty!"

Shaojia turned around to see General Lu kowtowing to him. "You may rise, General," Shaojia greeted, turning to face him.

General Lu bowed his head as he got up. "Sire, I've finished gathering the reports from our scouts and scavenger units. We have more than enough rations to last us another campaign now, not to mention the gold and silver General Liang's men were forced to leave behind when they retreated."

He nodded. "And General Liang himself? Was he really slain by an archer?"

General Lu shook his head. "No, milord, General Liang escaped but he was hit by an arrow in his arm."

Shaojia nodded before putting a hand on Lu's shoulder. "I'm... sorry for your son, General."

General Lu sighed sadly before nodding. "Thank you, Your Majesty, but my son knew the risks of joining the Imperial Army and he died an honorable death. I couldn't ask for more as a father and a general."

Looking back towards the south, Shaojia asked, "General, I want you to tell me something."

Lu bowed respectfully. "I will answer what I know, Your Majesty."

"Should we end this campaign as scheduled or should we chase after General Liang and liberate the people of Zhengzhou from Xiansi Castle?" Shaojia sighed as he sat down on the opposide side of the ramparts, the side missing its protective wall and was simply flat and was facing the south, and motioned for General Lu to take a seat beside him.

General Lu did as he was asked and sat down beside his commander. "I don't know, sire. The men are tired and so are we. But... Your Majesty, if I may make a suggestion?"

Shaojia nodded his consent. "Do as you wish, General, I'm all ears."

The general bowed his thanks. "Sire, I want to return home to my wife... But not with this news, not yet. I need some time, first, and I need to avenge my son."

Shaojia nodded. "You want to take some men and chase after General Liang?"

"With your blessings, Your Majesty," General Lu added.

He stared at the stars of the south before nodding. "Rally your men and the volunteers. Your men would follow you to the gates of Hell and so would the volunteers if it meant freeing their fellow countrymen. I'll take the rest of the army and return home." He then paused before adding, "On second thought, take General Deng and his men with you. They're always ready to fight and would be happy to follow you."

General Lu jumped in front of Shaojia, dropped to his knees and kowtowed deeply. "Thank you, Your Majesty," he said, keeping his head pressed to the stone of the city wall.

Shaojia nodded solemnly. "Get up, General." He waited for General Lu to do so before continuing, "You can stay in Zhengzhou as long as you want, but me and the remaining men will be leaving for Beijing tomorrow morning. You are in charge of this Southern Expedition and on your way to and back from Xiansi, take as many cities as possible and gather as many volunteers for the army. I expect to have Hubei and Hunan provinces under Imperial control by the end of your campaign."

Again, General Lu bowed. "I will not fail you, Your Majesty."

Putting a hand on General Lu's shoulder again, Shaojia replied, "I know you won't."

* * *

**The Afterthought:**

**Author: (Looks around again) Okay, no angry mob of reviewers. That's a good sign.**

**Shaojia: Correct! It's a legion this time. (Has pitchfork in hand and a legion of angry reviewers)**

**Author: Dammit! That's not a good prize!**

**Jimmy: Well, it's your fault for not releasing this thing soon enough!**

**Shaojia: And what the Hell happened to me! All sympathetic and shit! Who the Hell am I, Liu Bei?!**

**Author: Ahem...**

**Jimmy: You've been typing and playing Dyansty Warriors again, haven't you?**

**Author: That's a possibility...**

**Shaojia: Dammit! Why couldn't I be based on one of the cool ones, like Guan Yu! He's a god now for God's sake! Er, wait...**

**Jimmy: Uh-oh, looks like Shaojia accidentally said the same word one too many times in the same sentence. HE's broken now.**

**Wendy: Allow moi to do the honor. (Grabs Shaojia and throws him over the railing)**

**Cindy: Whatever happened to creepy fangirl obession over Shaojia?**

**Wendy: Oh yeah... (Dives after Shaojia) I must have hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!!**

**Author: (Clears throat) Ahem, moving onto more imp-**

**Stalker Ninja/Creepy Assassin Guy: (Pops out of nowhere in a cloud of smoke and other questionable gases) I finally got an actual acting role!**

**Author: (Jumps over the rail in surprise before climbing back over and slapping Stalker Ninja/Creepy Assassin Guy over the head) DON'T DO THAT EVER AGAIN!**

**Jimmy: (Waves hand in front of knows) Ugh, did you just-**

**SN/CAG: Yes. Now, onto more pressing matters. Such as what you will call me.**

**Jimmy: I thought we were decided on Stalker Ninja?**

**Emily: Creepy Assassin Guy.**

**Jimmy: But that's too long. I like Stalker Ninja better**

**Cindy: Creepy Assassin Guy brings in better ratings.**

**Jimmy: Ratings? What the Hell are we, FOX?**

**Author: (Hides crate full of complimentary FOX Network T-shirts)**

**SN/CAG: Wait, what's my real name, anyways?**

**Author: That? It's simple. You real name is... Um... Stalker Assasin Ninja Guy With No Name.**

**SN/CAG: ... Is he always this stupid or is this just a special moment?**

**Jimmy: (Shrugs) We've given up keeping track, but I say this is normal.**

**Author: What, you don't like it? It spells Sangwnn.**

**Sangwnn: That's not funny**

**Author: To me it is, and I'm sure it is to the obviously insane audience who I know are insane because they're still reading this after the chapter ended a few scrolls up.**

**Sangwnn: My name is not Sangwnn, dammit!**

**Author: That's all the time we have for today, join us again next time... Er, just check back again next Christmas, something will be out by then I think. Sangwnn, mind signing us off?**

**Sangwnn: My name is not Sangwnn, dammit!**

**Author: Thank you, Sangwnn.**

**Sangwnn: GAH!!**


	6. Damn You, Murphy!

**Chapter 6:**

**Damn You, Murphy!**

* * *

_"Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way." -Murphy's Law_

* * *

Jimmy blinked away the sunlight that shined into his face and rolled over slightly. In less than a second, he found himself crumpled in an uncomfortable position on the floor. He groaned as he got off of the floor. He cracked his neck and popped his back before he heard Cindy's angelic laughter.

"That's one way to wake up," Cindy said, still laughing, as she entered the room dressed only in a towel that was slipping down ever so slightly.

Jimmy simply blinked as he stared with boyish, perveted glee. "Did I die or something because I must be in Heaven..."

Cindy rolled her eyes and threw a dry towel at Jimmy's head. "Not yet, but you're going to be somewhere like that very, very soon if you don't stop staring and get into the bath. You smell like dirt and alcohol."

Jimmy nodded slightly before his hand shot up to his head in response to a sharp pain. "Ugh, what happened last night?" he muttered lowly to himself as he walked over to the bathroom. "One minute I'm in Ancient China, the next-" He then took the time to look around his surroundings. The room he and Cindy were in was lush with Oriental decorations, including wall scrolls and a low bed with red and gold silk sheets. He then looked at the bathroom and saw that the door was wooden with the Chinese symbol for longevity on it. When he slid it open, he saw that it was an ancient remake of a typical modern bathroom, complete with bathtub and toilet, although a sink was noticeable missing. He entered and closed the door behind him.

He knew that China was one of the many ancient civilizations that developed indoor plumbing, as was evident as he turned on a carefully crafted knob that was shaped like a dragon's head and water poured out slowly into the granite tub. He stuck his hand into the tub to move the wooden cork that served as a blocker for the waiter into the drainage hole of the tub. As the water flowed over his hand though, he felt that it was freezing cold. As was expected of any ancient civilization, the concept of heated water was too technologically ahead to grasp.

He looked under the tub for just second before righting himself immediately. 'Did I get hit in the head or something?' he thought to himself as he massaged his temples slightly. He then crouched to look below the tub to see a stack of wood underneath the tub wrapped in a very tight bundle and barricaded off by a stone wall with a removeable brick to allow insertion of wood and fire. He looked to the side and saw a stack of wood and a tall, lit lamp that served to light the entire room along with a small window at the very top of the room, almost touching the ceiling. A short metal pole with a wooden handle and a piece of wool shoved onto it hung off a hook on the lamp.

Jimmy threw a few more sticks of wood into the furnace under the tub and used the pole to light it. After letting it sit for a while, he disrobed and got into the tub which was reasonably warm now. He massaged his temples more as he racked his mind for memory of what had happened.

"Let's see," he muttered to himself as he grabbed a bottle of what was labeled as 'Essence of Phoenix Chrysantheum' in Chinese on the side. "We got here around late afternoon, had dinner in the Imperial Palace with Meiling, Quanbei, and Paosung..." He then groaned in annoyance as his memory came back to him. "Then Paosung goaded me into a drinking contest. How the Hell did I let myself get talked into that?"

He finished his bath quickly and dried himself off before entering his and Cindy's room with his dirty robes in hand. "Uh, Cindy? Is there such a thing as room service in the Imperial Palace?"

Cindy looked back at Jimmy slightly before turning back to the mirror and brushing her hair. "There's a change of clothes on the bed. A servant came by with them while you were in the bathtub."

Jimmy smirked as he noticed that Cindy had yet to get out of her towel. "Then why aren't you dressed yet?"

Cindy rolled her guys again and grabbed her robes before walking past Jimmy and giving him a playful yet firm slap upside the head. "What, and leave a pervert like you a chance to get a peek?" She then entered the bathroom to change.

Jimmy only shook his head and laughed under his breath as he changed into the new robes which looked more like a judge's robe. Included were a white undershirt, an orange cloak/gown that went over it, and a pair of orange pants. There were also a few accessories including black shoes with a dragon decoration on them as well as a funny (in Jimmy's opinion) black hat with wing flaps that stuck out kind of like the tail stabilizers on an airplane.

He looked at himself in the mirror and couldn't help but laught at himself. He looked absolutely ridiculous, a brown-haired, blue-eyed White guy dressed in ancient Chinese Imperial robes. He then clutched the sides of his head as the hangover came back with a vengeance. "Ugh, damn you Paosung..."

Shaking his head to clear it of the pangs of the dreaded hangover, he then looked around the room for Cindy's purse. She always had a bottle of Advil in there. He walked around the room looking for it. He was checking under what appeared to be a nightstand when a knock came on the door. He lifted his head to call out for the knocker to wait when he accidentally banged his head onto the nightstand. Hard.

He groaned as he clutched the back of his head in agonizing pain. He then heard the door open and someone chuckle lightly. "The Hell happened to you?"

Jimmy looked up slightly and nodded his greeting to Quanbei. "Nothing, just hit my head on the nightstand. Tell me, what was the point of knocking when you were just going to come in anyways?"

"It seemed like the polite thing to do," Quanbei said nonchalantly. "Need help?"

Jimmy shook his head slowly. "No, I'm fine." He then proceeded to stand up before falling backwards onto the bed.

"Easy," Quanbei said as he motioned for someone outside to come in. "Don't take it too hard, no one in the entire palace has ever beaten Paosung in a drinking contest. Well, no one that had nothing better to do than challenge him anyways." The servant he had motioned to come in placed a tray with some tea on it onto the low table in the middle of the room.

"Did I at least come close?" Jimmy asked as he looked at the tea questioningly.

"Nope," Quanbei replied bluntly. "You lasted for, I'd say, fifteen minutes." He poured Jimmy a cup of tea. "Drink this. While he was out on his 2nd Eastern Expedition last year, Paosung's men found some weird plant, helps with hangovers when it's ground into tea leaves. It's been tried by every nobelman this side of the Yellow River and had great results."

Jimmy nodded and quickly downed the cup of tea. He smiled appreciatively as the hangover receded before putting one hand on his mouth and one on his stomach, rushing to the bathroom, shoving Cindy outside, and closing the door. The sounds of vomitting were soon heard. Cindy, who was already dressed but had been working on her hair, looked at Quanbei in confusion.

He simply shook his head and laughed. "I guess I should've told him that it has a horrible aftertaste."

Cindy laughed but tried to stifle her laughs when Jimmy came out of the bathroom. In short, she failed and bubbled over with laughter. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Jimmy muttered bemusedly. Cindy was all too happy to oblige.

Quanbei simply shook his head. "Follow me. Meiling, who you will refer to as Her Imperial Highness when other people are around if you don't want the guards to get the wrong idea, is inviting both of you, me, and Paosung for breakfast so that we can finish talking about what we discussed last night."

Again Jimmy cursed Paosung for goading him into a drinking contest. "Uh, what exactly did we discuss last night?" he asked a bit shyly.

Rolling his eyes, Quanbei sighed. "This is the last time I let Paosung challenge anyone into a drinking contest while there's important business to be discussed."

"Will you just tell me what happened last night," Jimmy asked roughly.

"You shouldn't have drank so damn much then," Quanbei answered evenly. He then relented and added, "We'll probably have to go over it again anyways, Paosung kept drinking after you passed out until he passed out himself."

It was then that they both noticed Quanbei was wearing his military armor. "Why are you still wearing that?" Cindy asked as they followed Quanbei out of the room.

"I have to be ready to march out at any second now in case Huanglong Pass fell," he answered curtly. "I'm also supposed to inspect the reserve troops later today."

They walked on in silence and the two Americans took the time to observe their surroundings. They appeared to be in a vast palace of sorts, possibly even the Palace of Heavenly Tranquility, the residence of the Emperor. 'But I thought this was reserved for the Emperor only? Why are there guest rooms?' Jimmy thought as he looked around the walls and saw a large mural of what seemed to be a great naval battle with several buildings in the background on fire and a man wearing golden armor and a billowing crimson cape jumping onto the front-most ship swinging around his sword. The characters written on the mural read, 'The Grand Imperial General and the Glorious Defense of the Yellow Sea.'

As they continued walking, came across two guards in red, flowing robes that were like one-piece gowns with a set of gold armor to sit over it. A hood-like mask, much like a medieval executioner's mask, covered their head and face, leaving only their eyes visible through the eye slits. Dao swords sat on their hips in golden black oak scabbards. "Palace Guards," Quanbei explained as they approached them. When they came close enough, the guards held their hands out in front of them in the Chinese military salute before pressing their backs to the wall, allowing them to pass. Afterwards, they resumed their patrol of the palace.

A minute of walking passed before they finally saw daylight. They approached the large double-doors that were at the front of what appeared to be a large foyer. Servants scurried about through the foyer rapidly, some carrying trays, some carrying scrolls, and others still simply walking along, probably on their break. A patrol of guards walked by here and there as well. On either side of the double-doors, two more Palace Guards stood at attention. A loud bell sounded off in the distance and another pair of guards approached them, at which point the previous pair walked away and the latter pair took their place.

Despite the commotion of the foyer, when Quanbei stepped into the foyer, all motion stopped and a path was cleared for them. On either side of the path, people bowed their heads in respect as the general walked through. Jimmy and Cindy followed quickly behind him, observing the voluntary obeisance in awe. As soon as they approached the double-doors, the guards went into action and pushed open the doors for them.

They walked past the doors and into a giant courtyard where, straight ahead of them, a large, door-less gateway stood. A tablet that read, 'Imperial Garden' hung from it. Hearing the double-doors begin to swing shut, Cindy glanced backwards just in time to see the activity back in the palace they had just exited resume what they were doing before as if nothing had happened before the doors swung shut, blocking off the interior of the palace from her sight. The two guards that had assisted in pulling the doors open while the two inside pushed it once again stood directly in front of the doors at attention.

She was about to continue when Cindy thought she saw something perched in the shadows cast by the second level of the palace's overhanging roof. When she turned to look for it, though, she couldn't find it. "Cindy?" She turned around to see Jimmy and Quanbei looking at her strangely. "Are you alright?" Jimmy asked.

Cindy nodded. "Yeah, just thought I saw something. Probably just a trick of the light."

Quanbei nodded in agreement as he motioned for them to continue following. "Don't worry, the Forbidden City is the most secure place in this entire universe. Nothing could've gotten past the guards without getting their attention, unless it had some type of cloaking device."

* * *

The assassin once again cursed whatever god existed for his current situation. He was hiding in the shadows of the roof of the Forbidden City of Ancient China, trailing two Americans who he needed to keep alive until they were all back in the future so that he could kill them, and worst of all, he had devolved into a bird and had decided to make his current situation his new home. Now, he can't move anywhere until nightfall without being seen by the guards and probably cut down by a barrage of arrows from the guards patrolling the rooftops and city walls.

In short, he now believed that he had done something utterly horrible in his afterlife to be subjected to this current fate. Sure, it was probably his fault anyways for joining the Ninja Training Institute of Assassination instead of MIT, but he figured that the NTIA would land him a better chance of getting laid. That was a lie too.

"Coo... Coo..."

He looked to his side and saw what seemed to be a small flight of pidgeons that had also taken refuge in the shade. 'Terrific,' the assassin thought. A single pidgeon approached him and the assassin attempted to shew it away until he had attracted the attention of the blonde American, Cindy. He froze until she turned away. During that time, though, the pidgeon had taken it upon himself to peck at his hand. Once Cindy turned away, though, the assassin batted the pidgeon away.

He sighed and sat back on the roof. He was going to be stuck on the roof for about 7 or 8 more hours until nightfall. How exactly was he going to pass the time? He was interrupted from his train of thought when he felt a slight sting in his hand. He jerked it away and saw that another pidgeon had been pecking at it. "Go away," he whispered. It simply stepped forward, along with the others.

Now, he was hiding in the shadows of a roof in the Forbidden City of Ancient China, trailing two Americans who he needed to keep alive until they were all back in the future so that he could kill them, and was currently being attacked by several ravenous, man-eating pidgeons.

As he attempted to bat away the winged rats from his face while keeping the lowest profile possible, he had the feeling that even though it couldn't possibly get any worse, it would. He had seen the sun rising that morning and the sky was a great crimson red. If the old adage was true, that meant rain was coming soon. His boss had better increase his pay after this... Hell, after all he's been through, that increased pay had better come with half of a damn continent!

"Ow! ... Damn pidgeons..."

* * *

Quanbei, Jimmy, and Cindy were about halfway though the Imperial Garden when they came across a large statue where 4 men, similarily dressed to the Palace Guards but with an entirely white color scheme and an additional, flat, Oriental sunhat on their heads painted entirely black, stood at attention at each corner of the statue. The monument appeared to be composed of primarily gold and silver along with jade for the ornamentation. The statue was of a man and a woman, both in high Imperial garb, standing side-by-side with the woman held protectively in the man's arms.

The two Americans looked over to Quanbei for an explanation only to find him kowtowing before the statue three times. After the third kowtow, he stood back up and said solemnly, "This is a statue of Shaojia's parents which he had ordered to be constructed after we arrived in the Forbidden City."

Jimmy stepped closer to the statue only to be stopped by the two closest white-armored guards who each held a spear to Jimmy's throat. Quanbei held up a hand and motioned away from Jimmy and the two guards pulled back reluctantly. "Friendly," Jimmy muttered in English as he rubbed his throat.

"Honor Guards," Quanbei furnished as he waved them around the statue so that they could continue. "Shaojia wanted to show his respects to his father so he ordered that a detatchment of 4 guards from the ranks of his personal Imperial Guards were to stand at attention and guard that statue every single second of the day. These guards will relieved at noon by the other guard unit. The cycle repeats and is refreshed with different pairs of guard units each day of the week."

"Sort of like the Arlington National Cemetary guards," Jimmy replied, to which Quanbei nodded in agreement.

They walked in silence for a while, walking past and admiring the many sculptures and of course displays of Chinese foliage, including a pathway shaded by what appeared to be imported Japanese sakura trees and another pathway with gardens of golden crysantheum flowers on either side of it. As they passed by another sculpture of what seemed to be a grand scholar helping a student hold a brush, Cindy commented, "This is a nice garden."

"It's been around for millenia. Over the years, each Imperial household tended to add something during their reign," Quanbei replied. He then pointed down the path up head. "The pavillion's not too far from here. Her Highness can usually be found relaxing around there." The pavillion Quanbei mentioned was about the size of a two-story house. The roofs were of a gold-colored tile and the base was circular with the walls painted a bright red. And of course, there were guards standing outside, however, these guards' armor were completely golden; golden robes, golden armor, and of course golden masks. Even their scabbards, as well as the hilts of their dao, were made of gold.

At Jimmy and Cindy's curious and examinative glances, Quanbei again explained, "Gold, well, really, it's yellow, but they're pretty much the same... Eh, anyways, gold is the color of the Imperial Family. What you see here are two Imperial Guards, who are under the sole authority of one man: the Emperor. Ever since Shao- His Higness took back the throne 5 years ago, he beefed up security all around the Forbidden City, put extra archers on rooftops, put more guards on patrol, and of course established the Order of the Imperial Guardsmen."

As he stepped forward towards the garden pavillion, though, the guards stepped aside to allow him to pass. "They know who His Higness trusts, though," he replied in English as he looked squarely at one of the guards. "And he trusts them with most things, especially since most, if not all, Imperial Guards are retired Enforcers from the 52nd W-12 Infantry Division." He snapped off a quick salute to them to which they responded in an almost Pavlovian manner. "These two are with me," Quanbei said before passing through the doors of the pavillion. The guards still hadn't dropped their hands from their salute.

Jimmy and Cindy looked at each other before following Quanbei into the pavillion as well. Only when they had finally passed through did the guards drop their hands, pulled the pavillion doors shut, and resumed to their former guard stances. A few minutes passed before the guard on the left whispered to his comrade, "I think I recognized the White guy."

"Me too," the other one whispered back. "But I just can't seem to remember the name. I don't know why, but something reminds me about that war a few years back, you know? What was it, M-12? N-12?"

"I think it was N-12," the first one furnished. He considered it a moment before shaking his head. "Nah, couldn't be. This guy's head was too small."

The second chuckled lowly and answered back, "That's true."

* * *

Meiling stood up and smiled as Jimmy and Cindy entered behind Quanbei. She first approached Quanbei and gave him a sisterly hug. Then she looked at the other two and smiled. "Have a good sleep?"

Cindy nodded while Jimmy simply muttered incoherently under his breath. Cindy rolled her eyes and excused Jimmy. "Sorry about him. The idiot here doesn't drink much, but sometimes he does during New Years. Either way, he can't hold his liquor, as you saw last night and-"

She had to stop as Jimmy had put his hand over her mouth and was staring at her bemusedly. "Is it really that necessary to detail everything?" As she could answer, she simply shrugged. He rolled his eyes and let her go. "So what exactly did we go over yesterday?"

Quanbei stopped Meiling from answering. "We should wait until that drunkard I relucantly call brother shows up," he said through gritted teeth.

Meiling simply patted Quanbei's arm. "Don't worry about him, Quanbei. We got a message from Lanzhou earlier this morning after you left to get Jimmy and Cindy. Gansu's officially now under Northern Chang's complete control. Paosung's going to meet the other politicians to get a surrender treaty written up."

Meanwhile, Jimmy and Cindy simply looked at each other in an attempt to see if either of them knew what was going on. In short, they didn't and Jimmy voiced their primary question. "Uh, what's going?"

Meiling simply smiled at them and motioned wooden, ornately decorated table. "We'll get to that soon. Let's sit down, first." They all nodded and took their seats. "Breakfast'll be here soon, so how about we talk about why you're here first. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see you two after so long, but..." She paused, as if wondering how best to word what she was going to say next. "Well, I don't know how happy Shaojia'll be to see you."

"What do you mean?" Cindy asked before Jimmy replied to bother their questions.

"Don't worry, I don't want to pull Shaojia away from his work here," he said. "I just need his help on something. Did I say anything about it last night?"

"About what?" Quanbei asked in order to confirm. "The Chinese-American nuke thing?"

"The Chinese and the Americans are at nuclear war?" Meiling asked, distressed.

Jimmy shook his head. "No, they're not. At least, I don't think so. It's been a couple of days since we've had contact with N-12, so I have no idea whether we're too late or not."

"We came here, well, Jimmy brought us both here, to see if Shaojia could help us," Cindy added. "Jimmy says that the beurocrats in the Council said that their forces are too thinly spread out."

Jimmy rolled his eyes. "In the past 5 years, 37 more universes have been discovered and intiated into the Enforcers. There are more than a thousand other Enforcer forces not doing anything right now because I know that they all can't be reinforcing S-1's force." He sighed. "I want to ask Shaojia if he could help me either deal with the beurocrats and get some humanitarian aid to the West Coast or help me get to the bottom of this and take out the ones that tried to both cause nuclear war between the People's Republic of China and the United States as well as attempt to kill me at my house."

Quanbei and Meiling looked at each other, expressions grim. Even though Quanbei had heard this story before, it still didn't change the magnitude of the situation. He then asked Jimmy, "And you also think that due to the assassination attempt and the nuclear strikes taking place almost simultaneously, the Enforcer program may have been compromised?"

Jimmy nodded. "That's exactly what I think. It just couldn't have been coincidence."

They sat in silence for a bit, think this all over. Finally, Meiling said, "Well, it doesn't matter right now; Shaojia's on campaign somewhere gods know where in the middle of China and there's no way to retrieve him or to tell where he is exactly. As far as I know, his Enforcer GPS transponder chip must've already short-circuited by now." At Quanbei's bemused look asking how she knew about it, she simply shrugged, "How else did you think I found him every time?"

Quanbei sighed. "Of course..." He then looked at Jimmy and Cindy. "She's right, though. We need to find him first, see where he is, then lock onto him with the EIS. And even then, we can't just pluck him out from under his army and expect him to be happy. I know him well, very well, and unfortunately, too well, and he's going to either 1) Tell you to hold the Hell on and finish his campaign or 2) Tell you to goback to the Council, smash some heads open, and," glancing at Meiling and Cindy, he paused and cleared his throat nervously before continuing, "engage in procreational activites with themselves and then ask them to help you again."

Meiling giggled slightly, "It's alright Quanbei, I won't tell your wife."

Jimmy and Cindy looked at Quanbei, forgetting the occasional times he had ever mentioned having a wife and son. Jimmy was about to express his surprise in a coy, friendly, teasing manner but he was cut off when the doors opened and several female servants entered carrying many trays with food piled on them.

Meiling said in as convincing a regal tone she could muster, which made Jimmy and Cindy stare at awe at the once gentle, humble, and love-sick girl that followed Shaojia to the gates of Hell and back, often times close to literally. "Before we continue, let us have our morning meal."

* * *

Shaojia yawned as he popped his back a bit. Sure, doing so on top of a horse in gold, Imperial armor in front of about a hundred thousand men wasn't too emperor-like of him, but who cared? He was Emperor. It's not as if anyone could reprimand him about it, or gave that much of a damn to do so.

If one were to compare, Shaojia was the blue-collar emperor. He slept in tents with his men, he fought in the frontlines with his men, he ate the rations with his men, on occasions he even drank with his men when their was enough to drink for everybody; if there wasn't, he'd insist that the soldiers, the ones that fought the hard battle of the day, would drink to their hearts content while the officers, who did nothing but yell, worked until it was balanced and they'd have what's left. This left many officers more than a little confused and rather upset, but one did not question the Emperor.

This was a lot for most of the people under his command to get used to, mostly because they had been raised to believe that the Emperor was the Son of Heaven, the most regal, holy, and dignified person on the face of the Earth, not just another man who was born lucky but felt it was his civic duty to treat each of his men as brothers.

At this moment, the only reason he was on the horse was so that he could see where the Hell he was going. Shaojia yelled for Pang, Fei's third-cousin and his new aide-de-camp. "Hey Pang!" he yelled informally.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" Pang asked as he approached.

Shaojia did his best to suppress his personal annoyance as he saw Pang's gaze of awe and hero-worship as he approached the Emperor of his nation. "Where are we?" And despite the Emperor's supposed fountain of knowledge, Shaojia's greatest weakness was navigation. He truly and honestly had no idea where they were, although he knew that they had left the conquered Zhengzhou less than three hours ago.

Pang scratched his head as he took a map from his peasant's robes. "Uh... We're only a hundred more li or two from the Northern Chang border, Your Majesty," he replied. In Chinese, a _li_ was a unit of distance measure that was equivalent to the American mile.

Shaojia sighed his dissatisfaction, but what could he expect? The shortest distance from Zhengzhou to the Northern Chang border was still at least as far from Dallas was to Houston, Texas. The way it was going, it'd take at least a week or so to get all the way back home in Beijing by foot, maybe longer. With a horse, perhaps it'd be quicker, but that would have to mean they were all going to be on horses because he sure wasn't going to let his men walk home while he galloped on horseback and napped all the way there.

Speaking of which... Shaojia dismounted his horse and handed the reins to Pang for him to hold. He then called to one of his generals, General Gao, the only one left after he sent Generals Deng and Lu to go after Southern Chang's General Liang and liberate the peoples of Zhengzhou from their prison of Xiansi Castle.

General Gao Chong rode up in his horse, leaving his division to be looked after by Field Marshal Ci Tian. He quickly dismounted and held the reins out to his aide-de-camp, Jiang, mirroring his emperor's actions, not in an attempt of emulation but more out of regal and military etiquette. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"Call back your scouts and get their reports," he ordered as they all continued walking.

"Yes, Your Majesty!" Gao replied sharly, bowing and walking back to his division. Moments later, several men on horseback broke out of formation in a full gallop to retrieve the scouts Gao had sent ahead earlier. A good 15 minutes passed before a different set of men on horseback galloped back towards them.

The lead man, bearing the rank of Major, quickly dismounted and bowed quickly before setting in behind Shaojia while his men went to rejoin their unit. "Your Majesty!" he said, keeping his head bowed.

Shaojia nodded in greeting, "Major Hou, how far is the next river?"

"Not far, Your Majesty," Major Hou Jing replied. "Less than 5 more li, in fact, Your Majesty."

Shaojia nodded as he held his hand out to Pang for him to give him the reins of his horse. "Saddle up, Major. I want us to get to that river before the sun becomes unbearable. Pass the word to General Gao."

"Yes, Your Majesty!" Hou flashed a quick salute, bowed, and then mounted his horse as well.

Shaojia then looked to Pang. "Get back to your family, Pang. I'll send for you when we get to the river. And tell your family I said hello."

Pang smiled brightly at him and bowed. "Yes, Your Majesty!" He then scurried off past the sea of soldiers to the group of non-combat civillians that were under Shaojia's mens' protection.

Shaojia waited for about two minutes, which would've been long enough for everyone to be where they were supposed to be and the word to have spread. He then held his hand up and brought it down quickly before yelling, "Double-time march!" He pulled on the reins of the horse and kicked its sides, urging it into a quick gait. The rest of the horsemen mimicked his actions and pulled out in front of the infantrymen that jogged after them, barely keeping up with the last row of calvalry.

* * *

Jimmy sighed appreciatively after he scooped the rest of the chicken and rice soup. Cindy did the same soon after and leaned on his shoulder. Meiling stared at them slightly, with a bit of longing in her eyes, before averting them over to Quanbei who saw this and cleared his throat, causing the two, unaware of Meiling's reaction, to sit back in their chairs. They looked over at him curiously.

"Well, where were we?" Quanbei asked everyone in the room.

"At Square One, I think," Jimmy replied with a sigh. "We can't ask Shaojia to help us because we have no idea where he is in the first place and can't reach him, and even if we do it's unlikely he'd help in the first place." He looked at Cindy before looking at both Quanbei and Meiling. He stood up and bowed slightly, out of respect of their traditions. "Thanks for having us."

Quanbei stood up as well, followed by Meiling. "I'm sorry we can't help you any further," Meiling replied, walking over to them to stand before them. "I'll tell Shaojia when he arrives," she lowered her voice a few decibels for the next several words, "and after I yell at him for leaving to fight in some stupid war when he can have his generals do it like he's supposed to," then continuing at a normal tone, "and see if I can talk him into helping you, which won't be a problem."

Jimmy and Cindy nodded their thanks and Quanbei extended his hand out. His right arm still smarting a bit from his battle injuries, Quanbei instead extended to Jimmy his left hand to shake. Jimmy took his hand in his and gave it a firm squeeze which Quanbei returned with gusto. "Take care, Jimmy. I'd offer to help you, but I'm the one that's supposed to actually be fighting the war as opposed to Shaojia whose supposed to sit his royal ass down in the throne and at least pretend to listen to his advisors." He then added as if as an afterthought, "And because I do miss my wife and only son after being away from them for so long."

Meiling rolled her eyes and said jokingly, "Ah, Quanbei! Putting duty before family again, are we? That'll be something to chat with Lan about!"

Quanbei, although aware that she was probably joking, paled considerably. "Please don't; need I remind you that the first thing she did after giving me a hug when I got back home was attempt to castrate me with a fire poker for going to war and getting injured in the process?"

As the two Americans watched on, amused, Meiling laughed. "I always liked Lan! So creative! I think I'll save that for Shaojia on a rainy day."

Somewhere several hundred miles South of Beijing and just a few more miles away from the Northern Chang border, Shaojia shuddered. Back in the Imperial Garden, Quanbei blanched. Not wishing to pursue the topic, he said to Jimmy, "Do you want to leave now?"

Jimmy looked at Cindy for a moment. She looked back at him strangely and shrugged. "I don't think it would be a good idea to go on vacation as a tourist while our home universe is under nuclear attack."

Nodding his agreement, Jimmy replied to Quanbei, "She's right, we can't waste anymore time here. I'll need to mobilize whatever task force I can and investigate this entire thing. Hopefully I can stop the threat of nuclear war between China and the US for good... for now at least."

Quanbei nodded. He then walked over to a bamboo wallscoll and lifted it up to reveal something that was the absolute contrast of its surroundings. In the middle of this teahouse in the Imperial Garden of Ancient China's Forbidden City was a sleek, chrome button panel with a singular red button in a small indention in the wall hidden behind a bamoo wallscroll. Pressing the button, a small, square piece of the floor parted and a circular base appeared. A pillar of white light shot out from it. Every Enforcer in the room knew what it was; an EIS transporter.

As opposed to the portable EIS like the one in Jimmy's ID badge, this EIS was a stationary model and far more accurate. In other words, instead of transporting him in some random location in Retroville, this stationary version of the EIS would take him precisely where Jimmy wanted to go, his house.

"Shaojia had this installed," explained Quanbei, "just in case there was actually something important enough, in other words something universe threatening, that required him to be recalled to active duty. This entire pagoda's guarded by former Enforcers 24/7 and have their orders on what to do should something like that arise."

"Wait," Jimmy said, confused. "Then why wasn't there a datalog in the EIS with its ID? Otherwise we would've just transported straight to here."

"For one thing," Quanbei replied, "your situation wasn't exactly universe threatening, no offense, meaning you didn't have the need to get the access code to get the logs for this EIS." He then sighed and added, "And for another, according to Paosung when I asked him yesterday, he just got around to finishing installing the damn thing two days ago."

Jimmy nodded his acceptance of this and looked over at Cindy who was saying her goodbyes to Meiling. Cindy gave Meiling a friendly hug. "It's good to see you again, Meiling," she said to her.

"After everything over their settles down, I hope you guys might be able to visit one day. We have some catching up to do," Meiling answered. "And sorry we couldn't help more."

Cindy then looked over at Jimmy. He looked at Quanbei. "I'll send word about this as soon as I figure out something about this for a change. Maybe you, Paosung, or Shaojia if he's back by then can help me figure this out." He then stepped onto the transporter. A blinding flash of white surrounded him.

At first, it seemed as if he had transported back to N-12 (the EIS was designed to lock onto a transponder and send the carrier of the transponder to their home universe as a default if no specific coordiantes were inputted) until the machine began to sputter smoke. Then, the white light disappeared and Jimmy briefly reappeared over it before flying halfway across the room and into the wall.

Cindy, Meiling, and Quanbei all cried his name as they ran over to him. At the noise, the two guards at the door burst into the room, dao blades drawn and held at the ready. Quanbei got up and looked at them. "It's alright, men. The EIS malfunctioned or something." The guards looked at Quanbei before sheaving their swords, bowing deeply, and backed out of the room, closing the doors on their way out.

"Jimmy, Jimmy! Are you alright?" Cindy cried as Jimmy began to regain consciousness. His sanity, on the other hand...

"Hello Miss America," Jimmy murmured in a daze, "Thank you once again for my pies. I spent particular effort on the Crème Bernard."

Quanbei glanced at Cindy. "He's fine." She simply stared bemusedly at him, eyebrow twitching slightly.

To avert Cindy's rage away from Quanbei, Meiling asked him, "What happened?"

Quanbei shrugged and walked over to the transporter that was smoking slightly. Sparks were sputtering out of it at random intervals here and there as well. Scratching his head, he replied, "Well, maybe it's broke. Shaojia told Paosung to install the damn thing about 5 years ago and he just finished intalling it a couple of days ago."

"That's probably it," Meiling muttered as she walked over to the door, straightened her robes, and opened the doors to say to the guards, "Guardsmen! Send for Chancellor Li!"

The guardsmen kneeled to kowtow. "Yes, Your Highness!" one replied for the both of them. The doors swung shut and the guard hailed over a normal patrol guard, relaying to him Meiling's message. It wasn't long before Chancellor Li Paosung came walking, since he would trip over his billowing robes should he move any faster, towards the main pagoda of the Imperial Garden with several guardsmen following him.

"Wait here," he said to the guardsmen trailing him as he put his foot on the first step leading to the door of the pagoda. He then proceeded up the steps where he stepped on a part of the front part of his robe. Righting himself quickly, he yelled to one of them, "And remind me later to find the Imperial tailor to have these robes shortened to be worn by people of normal height!"

When Paosung closed the door behind him, Quanbei was still crouching by the transporter, trying to see what exactly was wrong with it to no avail, and looked over at him. "That was fast."

"I was just on my way here, actually," Paosung replied. "The negotiations didn't take that long at all, really. A state-appointed governor is being sent over now along with a garrison of 100,000 troops to fortify and defend Gansu from any retailation from the Tang, not that I think there'll be any." He then took the chance to finally notice the broken transporter and the delirious Jimmy. "Why do I always miss the really important things?"

Quanbei shrugged. "You just have bad timing," he replied. He glanced over at Jimmy who had begun to lapse in and out of consciousness while the girls fanned him with some spare table napkins to give him some air. "Well, we discussed what we started to discuss last night-" He paused. "You do remember, right?"

With a roll of the eyes, Paosung nodded. "Yes."

"Good," Quanbei retorted gruffly. "Now, we came across the conclusion that there's no way to locate Shaojia and/or take him away from his Army without having to apply rhino tranquilizers, so they were about to head back to N-12 to get things settled there as much as they could. Jimmy was the first to step onto the EIS, it broke, and now he's talking about pies or something."

"Actually, he's talking about circuses being operated by the aliens from the New York sewage system now," Cindy corrected before continuing to look worriedly at Jimmy.

"Of course," Quanbei replied dryly. "Anyways, the point is is that the EIS is busted."

"And you want for me to fix it, right?" Paosung asked rhetorically. He then rubbed his hands together, folded up his sleeves with much effort, and motioned for Quanbei to move aside. "Bro, sometimes I wonder what you'd do without me when something like this breaks."

"I guess I should be glad that this is one of the only things like it around here, then," Quanbei replied dryly. He then looked at the girls. "How's our favorite supposed genius doing?"

"Better," Jimmy himself replied with a groan as he began to regain full consciousness along with sanity. "Ugh, what happened?"

"That's what we're trying to find out," Quanbei replied before Paosung looked away from the transporter.

"What happened, it looks like, is that since this thing's sat around here for about 5 years without use or maintenance and didn't have a proper performance check run on it yet, which I had intended to run later today, mind you, it shorted out, thus leading to you becoming a human frisbee disk." Paosung stood up. "Quite frankly, I'm surprised you're not unconscious right now."

Jimmy groaned as he sat up. "Why don't they teach us these things in the handbook? Or at least have a warning label or something on the side." he asked Paosung painfully as he rubbed his sore neck.

"Because then people like me would be out of a job," Paosung replied off-handedly. He seemed to be slightly amused at his own joke.

Cindy sighed in annoyance. "Well, just when can you get that thing fixed?"

Paosung rubbed his chin before glancing at the transporter. He opened a compartment and moved around a few parts and wires before there was a small flash of sharp electricity which resulted in him yelping painfully and scooting back, suckling his fingers. He looked at her in annoyance, more at the transporter than at her. "Sometime between today and the end of the universe. This thing's going to need new circuits, a new drive, maybe even a new everything!"

"Well, don't worry about it, I guess," Jimmy replied as he reached into his pocket to take out his Enforcer badge which held the portable EIS as well. "It may be a bit unreliable, but it'll get us within a day's travel of Retroville." He grabbed Cindy's hand and pressed the button cleverly disguised in the middle of the badge that would activate the portable EIS but as soon as he did, it short-circuited, illiciting a similar reaction from him as Paosung's. He quickly dropped the badge and sucked on the tip of his tongue a bit.

"Oh, what's wrong now?!" Cindy asked exasperatedly.

Jimmy kneeled down to pick up the badge. "It must've gotten damaged from when I was thrown across the room." He paused a second to think. "Looks pretty simple and I don't think it's as bad as the stationary EIS. Paosung, if you've got a lab or something around here for such an occasion I'd probably be able to-"

Paosung held up a hand to stop him. "No offense, Jimmy, but I think that this is best left to the professionals that have done this for most of his life, sad as that may sound. You may be the smartest person on your Earth, but these EIS things require the attention of a real Enforcer brainiac, meaning me, again, sad as that may sound." He yanked the badge forcefully out of Jimmy's hands, who gave a sharp glare in return. Ignoring him, Paosung slipped the ID badge into his robe's inner pockets. "You're right on one thing, though," he said, glancing at the stationary transporter, "and that's that this isn't as bad as that piece of crap. I outta' be able to get this thing fixed in say a few days, given my own busy schedule and how hard it is to actually find replacement circuitry for these things."

Jimmy and Cindy sighed in begrudging acceptance of the situation. "Great, just great!" Jimmy muttered. He looked at Quanbei. "Is there an interversal phone or something around here by chance? I need to get a hold of Sheen or Libby to tell them about this and to see how bad things are over there."

An interversal phone was the Enforcer term for the anytime, anywhere, standard Enforcer telephones that, as the name suggested, allowed communications between universes. The caller would be directed to an Enforcer phone operator where he or she would supply the operator their cell or home phone number which the operator would use to call the person the caller wished to speak to, using the phone number supplied as to not arouse supsicion with local phone companies.

Quanbei nodded. "Me, Shaojia, and Paosung all have one in our living quarters. You can use mine."

Jimmy nodded his thanks and began to follow Quanbei out the door when Cindy protested. "Wait, what am I supposed to do, then?"

Before Jimmy could tell her to follow, Paosung suggested, almost jokingly given the assumed absurdity of his reply, "How about our very own Beijing National Shopping Center?"

Cindy and Jimmy both paused to look at Paosung strangely. "Wait, you mean like a shopping mall?"

Quanbei nodded with a sigh and looked over at Meiling who seemed to almost be bubbling over with laughter in utter bemusement. He then looked back at the two Americans. "If you want to put it that way, yes. Paosung just likes to make things that sound impossible all fancy looking."

"Well it is the official name," Paosung retorted as he continued to look at the stationary EIS. He then gave it a swift kick to see if that would work. In short, it didn't, surprising no one.

"Whatever," Quanbei replied, ignoring the fact that whatever was not a response expected out of the General of the Army of Northern Chang Imperial Forces. He continued, "Anyways, there's a shopping mall Shaojia ordered constructed _underneath_ Beijing." Holding up his hand to stop the inevitable questions from Jimmy and Cindy, he continued to explain, "Now, I know what you're thinking. All of those years under fire must've caught up with his head and now the first legitimate leader of Northern Chang for a long time has gone nuts. In reality," he said, looking pointedly at Meiling, "it was her idea. And quite frankly, it worked. We actually have a second city underneath Beijing. We've taken to calling it the 'Hidden City' for very obvious reason. On a map, it's called Xiabeijing."

Xiabeijing, in Mandarin Chinese, literally translated into Below Beijing.

"Me and Lan were so used to Westernized lifestyles for so long," Meiling added, "that we and a few other wives of soldiers as well as some of the female Enforcers around here as well began to brainstorm something and plan out a blueprint of it. Then, I sweet-talked Shaojia into having it constructed."

"Which resulted in over half of Beijing to question Shaojia's mental health," Quanbei retorted.

Ignoring him, Meiling continued. "It turned out even better than we expected really. At first, we paid several reknown shopkeepers and some restaurant owners into opening up some franchises down there, to get the mall rolling. Then, when popularity really got around about it, they actually began to pay _us_ instead for having a store in there and more and more people began to buy lots. Soon, people began to have underground additions to their houses built, word spread across Asia, and now the Hidden City is as famous as the Great Wall!"

As the two Americans listened in other incredulity and amazement, Paosung chuckled as he began to rework some more wiring around in the innards of the EIS. "Ah, the glory of American capitalism stolen and installed into Ancient China!"

Cindy looked at Meiling. "Actually, that sounds great!"

"Then it's settled," Meiling replied. She announced to everyone in the room. "Me and Cindy are going to the Hidden City Mall to shop around a bit." She then turned to Quanbei. "Better yet, how about you send Lan over? She needs some time away from the baby and you need some time with him."

Quanbei couldn't help but agree. "Fine, fine." He then held up a finger. "But only if you take a guard detail with you!"

Meiling sighed and nodded, knowing that there was no arguement out of that arrangement. Lord only knows how many times she's tried to, with Shaojia as well as Quanbei and/or Paosung when Shaojia's out. She then tugged on Cindy's arm. "Let's go!" The doors opened briefly and closed as soon as possible.

"We should get going, too," Quanbei said to Jimmy who nodded. "Will you be alright, Brother?" he said to Paosung who was now on his hands and knees looking inside of the transporter. Not answering him, Paosung simply waved them goodbye before diving his hands right back into the transporter's inner workings. Shaking his head, he led Jimmy out the door.

Libby and Sheen were driving towards the Fort Brooks Military Installation USA-RTX/578912 when Sheen's cell phone rang. For Brooks was not far from Retroville, just 15 miles away from the city limits. There was formerly another military installation nearby Retroville but after its Commanding General was involved in an incident involving transvestite hookers, clowns, Nazi-clad strippers, and several kilograms of high-quality cocaine, the military installation's history and even existence has been denied by the US government. In compliance of the shadowy Enforcer Act of 2002, Fort Brooks was constructed.

As Sheen was concentrating as hard as he possibly could to drive, and even as adult, that applied heavy mental stress on his other wise mentally-unsounds brain, Libby quickly picked up the phone and answered it without even looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Libby?"

Libby did a double-take at the phone. "Jimmy, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me-"

She cut him off. "Oh my God, it is so good to hear from you! Where are you, did the EIS send you somewhere at least a day's walk from Retroville again or did you use a stationary model? How's Shaojia and Meiling, can I talk to Cindy, what's-"

"Libby! Please, one question at a time!" Jimmy's voice sounded all at the same time, irritated, tired, stressed, and relieved. "Sorry. A lot of things have gone on, very few of them good. Anyways, I'm still in W-12 right now because the stationary EIS here broke and flung me into a wall, causing the portable one to break too. Paosung, you remember him, right? The chief scientist of W-12 or something like that? Anyway, Paosung said that it'll take a few days to fix the portable and, quote, sometime between today and the end of the universe, end quote. Shaojia's out campaigning somewhere in the middle of China and Meiling, Cindy, and Quanbei, you probably know him better as General Tian, anyways, Quanbei's wife Lan are out shopping in an underground shopping mall right below Beijing."

Libby paused for a good 30 seconds or so as her mind tried to get around all that information, mostly the underground mall part. "Okay, I understood most of that, but about that last part, have you been on that opium or something?"

With a sigh, Jimmy replied, "Unfortunately, I'm not joking, there is actually a mall underneath Beijing. But that can wait until after I get back in a few days or so. What's important is what's happening now? Since I can hear you clearly with no sounds of gunfire and the fact that I'm even talking to you, is it safe to assume that the world hasn't erupted into Nuclear Armageddon and we're not at war with the Chinese?"

"Assume away, Jimmy," Libby replied. "There's been a 'Call for Delegation' hearing in Tokyo between President Haywood and the Chinese Premier, I forget his name. Anyways, while those two are talking this over, humanitarian forces from all over are helping out the West Coast, including, if you'll believe it, the North Koreans. I don't know, Jimmy, but that just seems too suspicious."

"Suspicious or not, as long as they're not shooting at anyone, everything's as good as it can get right now," Jimmy replied with a sigh of relief. "But now that you mention it, Yoo Yee's not dead and he's a Korean I think,given the name. It's not much, but it's all I have so far that links anything to anything. At least that gives me a starting angle for when me and Cindy get home to Retroville. What are you doing now, anyways?"

Smiling in pride at Sheen, who seemed as if his head were about to explode from trying to steer the car straight, or maybe he was resisting the urge to turn the wheel back and forth like in the movies when the good guy was doing the same thing despite driving on a straight road such as the one they were on, Libby replied, "Me and _General_ Estevez here are on our way to Brooks to help supervise Enforcer deployment all around the West Coast."

With a chuckle, Jimmy replied, "That's good to hear. Assuming that you're still driving, just tell Sheen everything and that me and Cindy said hi. It's good to hear from you, Libby. I'll see you guys as soon as we can. I can't promise anything, though. Paosung said it'd be a pain getting the parts to even fix the portable, so it might even take at least a week."

"Alright, I will. Tell Cindy I said hi and try to keep in touch, alright Jimmy?" Libby replied solemnly. "And take care of yourself. You're not the only one who thinks that this is all too coincidental. As if it's some bad action flik or a work of writing from some idiot living in Texas that he posted onto some website or something like that."

Jimmy laughed at the last part. "I don't care if that's just plain impossible. It's still funny. Alright, I'll try and keep contact as much as possible and I'll be sure to tell Cindy you said hi."

Soon, the phone went dead in her ear. Looking over at Sheen, Libby began to explain everything to him. "Jimmy just called. He's still in W-12 and he may be stranded there for a little while..."

"There," Jimmy said before putting the phone back on its cradle, cleverly hidden inside a large jewelry box as to prevent questions from the cleaning staff. He closed the lid of the box and turned around to face Quanbei who was bouncing his 18 month old son on his knee. The boy, dressed in a simple, red child's robe with small designs on it that designated him as a child of someone in the highest circles of politics around Beijing, laughed with each bounce.

Quanbei looked away from his son for a moment, although still bouncing him. "Done?"

"Yeah," Jimmy replied, "I just got off the phone with Libby, you know, the only Admiral in the entire N-12 fleet?"

"I remember the name," Quanbei replied, indicating that although he recognized the name, he knew nothing else.

Jimmy waved it off. "Well, anyways, she says that everything's as normal as it could be except for one thing: the North Koreans are helping in the humanitarian effort along the West Coast."

Pausing, Quanbei looked at him pointedly. "The _North_ Koreans? In your universe, they're pretty much one of the bad guys, right?" When his son began to fuss a bit, Quanbei continued to bounce him but stared entirely at Jimmy.

Jimmy nodded. "As far as foreign policy, alledged human rights, and stance on nuclear weapons is concerned, yes. But that's a start for me when we get back, though. One of my old enemies from when I was still a kid, before I ever heard of the Enforcers, there was a man by the name of Yoo Yee, who led a band of ninja-like assassins. Like all my other enemies, he was defeated, but Yoo Yee is a Korean name I think. I know it's not much to go on, but those are the only dots I could connect right now."

Quanbei nodded slowly. "It's better than nothing... Nothing very solid, but at least something to go on, like you said." He then began to get up from his chair, his son, slightly exhausted from his playtime, cradled in his arms. "Come on. I'll drop little Qiangjing at his babysitter's so I can go check the troops. Why don't you come with me?"

Jimmy shrugged. "Why not? I don't have anything better to do."

They both proceeded to leave the room, shutting the door on their way out. The room, illuminated solely by the windows, and a few lamps which they had blown out before leaving, became moderately dark. It was not but 5 minutes later when a figure clad in black slid into the rooms quickly.

With a sigh of relief, the assassin that had been trailing Jimmy and Cindy for several days now, stuck to the shadows as best as possible as he approached the phone. He had been spying on Jimmy as he made the call from the shadows of the rooftop of Quanbei's quarters just off of the main palaces. The house itself was quite large, allowing for a plentiful amount of shadows for him to hide in. It was a simple matter of distracting the guards with a cleverly thrown rock as well as swiftness that allowed him to gain entrance into the house as well as contact to his boss.

The assassin reached the phone soon. Carefully, he picked up the lid of the box that concealed the phone. Setting it to the side, he then picked up the phone. His ears were soon met by a metallic although distinctly female voice saying, "Hello and welcome to the Enforcer Interversal Communications operating service. Please enter your home or cellular number at the beep."

The assassin did so with a second of reluctance, figuring that since the cell phone he carried was given to him immediately after he accepted the job and the phone's credientials and information was controlled directly by his employers, it wouldn't really be of any harm. Also, these Enforcers didn't know who he is and probably didn't have any way of knowing.

"Thank you," the automated voice said. "Now, please enter the home or cellular number of whomever you wish to call at the beep." Again, the assassin did so, punching in the number of his master.

On the third ring, he picked up. "Hello?" a sleepy voice answered, a bit of aggravation in his voice.

"Master Yoo," the assassin said, in Japanese, "it's me, sir, Kurokawa Fukakesshi."

Master Yoo groaned, attempting to interpret his second-language of Japanese at such a late hour. "Gah, Kurokawa! Of all the times you had to call... This better be good, where are you? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Sorry, Master, time's... different here, I think." Kurokawa paused, trying to figure out the best way to go on. "I... think I'm in Ancient China... Master, I can't explain it to you, but I followed Neutron and got sucked into some strange parking lot world where I laid under a pick-up, got sucked into another dimension again and landed in the middle of a battlefield in Ancient China..."

There was a long pause. "Kurokawa," Master Yoo replied, his voice edging on perceptible rage, "how much sake have you had to drink, lately?" Then, before Kurokawa could reply, Yoo interrupted him. "Wait... Humor me, did you pick up on any names of people around there?"

"Some, sir, but I don't know what-"

Kurokawa was cut off. "Tell me what names you've heard, Kurokawa," Yoo replied, his voice now sounding very interested. A beeping noise indicated everything from that point on was now being recorded. "In English," he added.

Swallowing a nervous lump in his throat, Kurokawa subonsciously nodded. In very clear English, he answered, "Y-yes, Master. There were only a few names, of generals and politicians. The ones Neutron actually conversed with are Tian Quanbei, Li Paosung, and Hua Meiling."

There was another pause. "Kurokawa, was a... Wang Shaojia ever mentioned?"

"Several times," Kurokawa replied. "I haven't been able to get very close to hear anything about him other than that he's on campaign somewhere in the middle of Ancient China waging war. And that he's the Emperor."

There was yet another long pause. "How are you calling me, Kurokawa? I'm assuming you've just found some type of trick or a clear sky since we haven't heard from you in days?"

"No sir," he replied. "I'm using a telephone created by someone or something called the Enforcers. An Interversal Communication something or other. I... can't really explain that much else, sir, because that's all I know or understand."

"What time is it over where you are, Kurokawa?"

"I don't know, sir... Early morning I think."

"How much access do you have to this Enforcer phone?"

"Very limited, sir. I snuck into Tian Quanbei's quarters after spying on him and Neutron using it to contact someone named Libby. I doubt I'll be able to get into further contact with you in a while, sir."

There was an audible and aggravated sigh. In the background, he could hear words spoken in Korean before Yoo replied, "Alright, call in exactly 30 minutes. In exactly 30 minutes, if you don't call, I'll just have to assume that you had to get out before you were exposed. I'm getting the Boss. He has a lot of questions that you unknowingly have answers to, Kurokawa Fukakesshi. You'll get your next orders after you answer them."

"This better be important," Yoo's employer muttered angrily as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He had gone to sleep early that day, as did everyone else in his Chinese compound. Thus, when the call from Yoo's Japanese agent, Kurokawa Fukakesshi, came in, it was a bit late and he was not in the least bit happy.

"I believe it is, sir," Yoo replied. "My Japanese agent made contact with me just 10 minutes ago."

His employer became awake immediately. Motioning to the meeting table's many chairs, he said, "Sit down, Mr. Yoo. And wait until General Jeong arrives before you start to explain."

After a while of waiting, it wasn't but 5 minutes later when General Jeong, his two guards in tow, burst into the room, as equally annoyed as everyone else was a moment ago. "What's going on?" he asked, his uniform disshelved and his top unbuttoned.

"Sit down, General," their employer ordered. When Jeong did so, he looked over at Yoo. "You were saying? About how your Japanese agent just contacted you. Where is he? Why hasn't he reported in sooner?"

Yoo paused for a bit, unsure how to proceed. "He's... in another universe, he thinks. I think I can sum up everything in the next few keywords: Wang Shaojia, Enforcers, and Ancient China."

The room stood deathly silent for a few moments as the information sank in. Over the last couple of days, as well as the last few years after their employer had contacted them and included them into the plan, they had discussed in great length vast intelligence their agents had uncovered of Jimmy Neutron's supposed-to-have-been-a-secret Enforcer program.

The Enforcer program was a type of para-military organization that, as ludicrous as it sounded, was operated and controlled by a deity. According to tapped conversations between Jimmy and Cindy, there were possibly even a wide range of deities, one for every alternate dimension, otherwise known as another universe. The Enforcers' job was to eliminate 'the bad guys' that attempted to take over the world, blow it up, et cetera.

5 years ago, around the same time of their employer's tragic accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down, an Enforcer leader named Wang Shaojia led a massive Army in the aid of Jimmy Neutron's people that foiled his and his assosciates' plots for galactic domination as well as the elimination of Jimmy Neutron himself.

Now, it seemed as if Jimmy Neutron had gone to Wang Shaojia's universe to seek help. This did not sit well with either one of them, especially not if Wang Shaojia still led the massive Army, who, although children then, must be full-grown adults by now and thus even more dangerous than before. With this new revelation, more probelms just kept coming. Although, there were now even more solutions as well.

"How did he contact you?" their employer asked Yoo.

"Something called an 'Enforcer Interversal Communications System' or something along those lines," Yoo answered. "He had to sneak into the quarters of someone who I think is one of Wang Shaojia's lackies." He then spoke again before anyone could ask another question. "I think it would be best if we listened to the conversation, first, before we ask anymore questions. I recorded it after I started asking him some questions."

They listened to the recordings, their employer's face a mixing bowl of many emotions, among them chiefly concern, contempt, and pensiveness. The recordings lasted for about 5 minutes. With a sigh, their boss lounged back in his wheelchair. "How much longer until 30 minutes from then?"

Yoo looked at his wristwatch. "I marked when I hung up at 11:21. It's now 11:45. Give him about 5 or 6 more minutes." And they waited in their chairs apprehensively for closer to 7 minutes when Yoo's cell phone rang. "Kurokawa?"

"Yes sir?"

"Good," Yoo said. "Boss wants to ask you a few questions. Answer them to the best of your ability." He then put the phone on speakerphone and looked at their boss.

"Good evening, Mr. Kurokawa," he said. "Or is it morning over where you are? Afternoon maybe?"

"Morning, sir," Kurokawa replied, his voice a bit apprehensive. "It's morning... here... Whereever here is..."

"Whereever you are, Kurokawa," the boss replied, "it doesn't matter. Who's there with you is. Now, answer these questions, in this order: Will Jimmy Neutron be returning soon? Where exactly is Wang Shaojia, if you know? And how tight is security where you are?"

There was a pause as Kurokawa collected his thoughts. "I eavesdropped on conversations between Neutron and the man known as Tian Quanbei as they walked to Tian's quarters. I think it's safe to say not very soon. It sounds as if the transporter that would take them out of here broke and won't be repaired for a few days or so. Wang Shaojia is somewhere in the middle of China fighting a war. And security is very tight. There are soldiers actively patrolling the streets, here. Oh, I guess I should mention, sir, I'm in the Emperor's home, the Forbidden City. From what I've seen, this version of Ancient China is highly militarized but very well-accepted. Again, from conversation, I heard that some reserve forces are holding a parade inspection and on the way in, there were serveral patrols of soldiers that were well-received by the public. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get into contact again."

Everyone in the room looked at each other. It seemed as one of their worst suspicions have been proven; Wang Shaojia is still in control of a massive military force and since the people accepted them well into their society, recruitment and drafting probably won't be much of a problem.

"Kurokawa, listen to me closely," their boss said. "Your objectives are still the same, but I want you to treat them as secondary now. Your new primary objective is to make sure that Wang Shaojia isn't able to mobilize his forces. Eliminate him. I suggest waiting until they are all together and then wipe them all out. That is all, Kurokawa." He looked at Yoo and made a slashing motion across his neck.

Yoo nodded. "Kurokawa, you heard him. Locate Wang Shaojia, wait until they are all in one place, and then eliminate him. But make sure you have a way out. If you can pull this off, I'll be needing your services in the future." With a press of the finger, he ended the call. "So now what?" Yoo asked, looking at both of them.

With a yawn, the boss said as he began to wheel out of the door, "For now, we rest. We're too tired to think clearly and we also haven't had time to think about this on our own, yet. We'll think of a plan tomorrow. Good evening, gentlemen."

**The Afterthought:**

**Author: (Looks around) Let's see... No signs of Wendy... No signs of flaming torches... No signs of mobs... Little sign of reader appreciation via reviews... Looks like the coast is clear!**

**Jimmy: You know, considering the choice you made with the title of this chapter, you of all people should understand it at least. Especially when the meaning is this chapter's quote.**

**Author: ... Huh?**

**Jimmy: (Points behind Author)**

**(Author turns around to come face to face with a rather large, rather intimidating, stereotypical Italian crime mob)**

**Author: Damnit! Why must you always be the bearer of bad news!**

**Jimmy: Hey, don't look at me! It's not my fault that everything bad happens to you! I just happen to tell you about it.**

**Tall Italian Mobster: He's got ya there, pal.**

**Author: Nobody asked you! (Mobsters point archaic Tommy guns at him) Um... What I meant to say was...**

**Tall Italian Mobster: What you meant to says was that why was you not available to procure the publishment of this edition of this story earlier? You see, the Don is not fond of fanfiction writers that take too long to publish their woik.**

**Author: Well, you see, the thing is, I got work and stuff and- Wait, did you say that your boss reads this stuff?**

**Shorter, Foul-Temptered Italian Mobster: Yeah, he does. He's quite partial to Inuyasha and Xiaolin Showdown fanfics in particular. Ya got a problem with that?! (Points .45 in Author's face)**

**Author: No, no problem at all... Short, Joe Pesci-sounding Mafia guy...**

**TIM: Mafia? Buddy, we ain't no Mafia, we's just some guys in, uh, waste management.**

**SFTIM: Yeah, and book-keepin'! There ain't no such thing as a Mafia pal, and you best remember it before something unfortunate happens that we would not be involved with.**

**Shaojia: Alright, alright, enough with the parodying every mobster movie ever made! On with the Afterthought!**

**TIM: Sure, pal, just let us get the obligatory impatient reader beatings out of the way.**

**Shaojia: Sure, go ahead.**

**Author: What?! What makes you think you have the right to do that?! I don't want to get hit in the head with a tire iron!**

**TIM: Tire iron? Buddy, we ain't gonna hit you in the head with a tire iron!**

**SFTIM: Yeah, we're gonna hit you in the head with nine-iron! (Hits Author in the head with golf club)**

**Jimmy: And a baseball bat!**

**Author: Ow! Gah! Stop! Wait! Why is Jimmy attacking me?!**

**Shaojia: Probably because you arranged for his being launched into the wall.**

**Author: No one asked you! Gah! Wendy! Ow! Attack!**

**Wendy: Hey, I ain't a damn attack dog you can order around! Although, given that Shaojia is right here and within glomping distance... Shaojia! Tackle hugs off of bridge**

**Shaojia: Damn you! I blame our eductation system!**

**Jimmy: Ahem... Let's see, Wendy glomps Shaojia, check, Author being beaten by impatient viewers (glances at beating) who appear to be in the Mafia-**

**TIM: Waste Mangagement! (Continues to hit Author)**

**Jimmy: Fine, fine, 'Waste Management', and someone's been tossed over a bridge. All that's left is to thank our faithful readers and reviewers for their patience in waiting for this chapter. We here at The Afterthought promise to try and deliver the next chapter faster next time. And make it a bit more interesting, too, chock-full of the violence you have all come to know, love and expect out of this series.**

**Cindy: Well, we don't really know what they love or expect out of this. There aren't enough reviews!**

**Jimmy: Whatever. Anyways, from the cast of The Afterthough, we're all wishing you school-going people good luck this year! I'm Jimmy Neutron.**

**Cindy: And I'm Cindy Vortex.**

**Author: I'm in pain! Ow! By leg is not meant to bend that way!**

**SFTIM: Shaddup! (Whacks with overly bent, bloody, and battered nine-iron in the head)**

**TIM: We're in Waste Management.**

**Wendy: I'm in love with Shaojia! (Tightly hugs Shaojia from behind, cutting off his oxygen)**

**Shaojia: I... can't... breathe!**

**Wendy: Shh... It's okay, if you pass out, you can come home with me!**

**Shaojia: Correction... I'm... in... Hell! (Passes out)**

**Wendy: Yay! (Yells to other fangirls) Come on girls, party at my place! (Drags Shaojia behind her as she goes home)**

**(Cliche, tacky sitcom-like credits roll down the screen along with annoying, up-beat music. Music pauses and a 747 lands on the cast)**

**Jimmy: Ya know, given that we've been doing this for about 2 years now, that was kinda expected...**


End file.
